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I do too! When my dad remarried he rather unceremoniously moved each of us out of the house.
I have teens now, one about to go away to college; and I would never do that to them. They have a home base for their entire life and can bommerang all they want!
If you look at the ages of those of us who paid rent/got kicked out at 18, etc. I have the feeling that the parents were of the WW II/Great Depression generation. That generation, especially those that grew up dirt poor as mine did, had the "if you don't work you don't eat" mindset. All my cousins had parents with the same MO as mine. I turned 18 in 1972.
You can boomerang, but moving out should be attempted. I should have done it and stuck with it. I lived at home through most of my 20's. I regret it greatly. Get out and make it happen!
My mother had been telling us that she wanted us gone at 18, constantly mentioned that she left her parents at 17. I moved out at 20 with my #2brother(I am the oldest of two brothers and a sister). We both had full time jobs at the same college, but separate campuses. While on our own he got another part-time job and started school. Instead of quitting one job and/or school when he burned out, he quit both jobs. He had delusional dreams of being a famous painter within a few months and refused to look for work. So after two years of freedom we moved back in with mom.
She had been divorced from her husband for a year at this point and told us that the house was under threat of being repoed(She had a second mortgage she was paying, but was behind on the electric and stopped paying first mortgage), so I agreed to pay her enough to pay the mortgage so the house wouldn't be repoed($400 a month). A few months later I discovered she wasn't using my money toward the first mortgage, but was using the money to pay her credit cards and the electric, she had recieved notice that we would have to vacate in 5-6 months, so I stopped paying her. She became super nasty then.
Even so I agreed to get a place for us to move into. She lived with me for two and a half years before I kicked her out for not paying me rent.
I moved out at 18 and went to college. Ended up moving back home (which was in a different place and didn't really feel like home to me because my parents had moved after I went to college) for about six months.
My 24 year old daughter moved back in in April this year. She is going to school almost full time (we pay for school), working, and has a car payment. It's not without its touchy moments on both sides. She was used to being independent and we were used to an empty nest. But I have always told my kids they can always come home, and they can. Not if they don't want to work and they just want to have a free place to live, but if they are working/going to school and trying to get on their feet, they are welcome. Just wish we had a bigger house!
I spent the whole of my 20s half on my own and half in my mother's house. Going to school, saving for a cross country move, and getting laid off 239859302 times will do that to you. Every time I thought things were going good and I moved out, within a year, they had changed for the worse again.
I moved out for the last time at 29. I am nearly 31 now and it looks like this time it will stick.
I am under no illusion that my daughter will move out the house at 18. I expect she'll probably stay till 22 at least, if she goes to college/apprenticeship. It is part of the reason I did not want more than one child.
I moved out at 18 when I went away to college in Indiana (about six hours from home). After I graduated I moved to Massachusetts for grad school. I'm in still in grad school now and plan to stay put in Mass (unless something happens and I end up elsewhere). My parents would definately welcome me with open arms if I needed to come home. I hope and pray I don't have to move back for any reason. Because I love Mass and I certainly don't want to leave. Oh and I'm 24.
When I was 18 I moved several states away got an apartment, a job and started school all on my own. My parents were very upset they wanted me to go to a local college and live at home and save my money. That was 26 years ago and I have never lived with them again but it was nice to know that I always would have a place to go if I needed to.
That is the sign of loving parents- "the door will always be open for you" - That's a good attitude for parents to have...give the kid more confidence...and less fear in striking out on their own...
My family had the same house on the lake for over 43 years...We built on to it and eventually it had 9 bedrooms...It was wonderful- I could leave for a year or two...a week--- or ten years - going home was always an option...I remember living with a woman on the west coast...I did not want to be there....so I said out of the blue- Drive me to the airport...I had a small bag and the clothes on my back...As the sun was coming up I landed the Toronto airport...Took a long cab ride north of the city..I had been gone a few years....My mother was doing some gardening out front- I said..."Hi mum....and then I just walked in and took a nap.....I was HOME.........................................
If I knew what a knew today- we would have never sold that old house....It was so good to have a real home....and as they say "you can never go home again?
I live at home during breaks, but I go to school 1.5 hours away and consider that I 'moved out' when I was 18 for school.
I couldn't imagine being home any longer than what I have been. I'm counting the days to go back to school. After I graduate, I really would prefer moving out to be on my own, or at the very least only spending a few months living with my parents working in order to save money and pay off as many school loans as possible. I just don't see how people can stand to live with their parents for so long.
I love my parents to death and I love my home, but I'm also ready to get my own life started.
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