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Even though you may have it "good," you feel something inside has shifted; although you could stay put forever, it would be unchallenging. When this feeling overtakes you, you have nothing to lose by moving---not a job, not money, because that life feels dead to you.
That is exactly how I felt. I do not miss anything about my home town. Isn't that sad.
I moved from hometown away because I just felt "small" there, like I never was going to be able to tolerate staying there. At the time though the economy was good and my job was not very good. I then moved back, being away made me appreciate being back. Now with this economy, I don't think I would do it. We had to move (husband offered relo or no job in hometown) to 2 different states for my husband to have a job, but the jobs I have had are not as good as the job I had at home. Honestly my day to day is the same no matter where we are so I feel restless wherever. I think most people just want to run away from it all at least once in a while. We also glorify how the new place is going to be and how we will be different, but wherever we go there we are.
I moved from hometown away because I just felt "small" there, like I never was going to be able to tolerate staying there. At the time though the economy was good and my job was not very good. I then moved back, being away made me appreciate being back. Now with this economy, I don't think I would do it. We had to move (husband offered relo or no job in hometown) to 2 different states for my husband to have a job, but the jobs I have had are not as good as the job I had at home. Honestly my day to day is the same no matter where we are so I feel restless wherever. I think most people just want to run away from it all at least once in a while. We also glorify how the new place is going to be and how we will be different, but wherever we go there we are.
Where ever you go, you are still you, and moving is not going to change that. You still bring your personal "baggage" with you, so if you're moving just because you think things in your life will change/improve, they probably won't.
I've relocated once for grad school, and twice for jobs, all of those time moving to places where I had never lived before and had no family or friends in the immediate area, although the last time I at least was within 100 miles of family and friends. I'm lucky in that I make friends pretty easily.
Where ever you go, you are still you, and moving is not going to change that. You still bring your personal "baggage" with you, so if you're moving just because you think things in your life will change/improve, they probably won't.
I've relocated once for grad school, and twice for jobs, all of those time moving to places where I had never lived before and had no family or friends in the immediate area, although the last time I at least was within 100 miles of family and friends. I'm lucky in that I make friends pretty easily.
While you're always "you," a change in scenery or circumstances can really help, and sometimes to the set or setting is just not right. Kingsport has several industrial developments that cause the whole town to smell like nail polish remover - even if everything in the town and people remained the same, getting rid of that smell would be a quality of life improvement.
If you're in a high crime community, moving somewhere else may make you feel better. I went out to a restaurant yesterday and came back to my car and someone deflated all four of my tires (all while smelling the "nail polish remover"). Circumstances like this can get on anyone's nerves.
I have no doubt that I'd be happier in south FL/CA where the weather is nice and there are things to do than in Detroit or ND, provided I was making enough to live the same lifestyle.
The best part of relocating is the process. It is stressful but it is exciting to defy societal norms by quitting your secure job and moving to a place where you know no one. It is quite empowering.
Sounds like you would LOVE a vacation home Why not plan a few trips within a few hours of where you live and find a little getaway...could be a good investment and just what the Dr. ordered. Good luck
I've been told, never move for family, jobs, or circumstances, and it's sooo true! We've actually moved several times in the last 20+years, once for family, several times for jobs and always to try and better our circumstances. However, I'm finding that my entire immediate family are considering a crazy move, similar to yours, and to a place that WE WANT and ENJOY. I will NEVER move/stay for family, friends or circumstances, again. The decision to stay or go has to come from inside you. You have to look at where you're at and where you want to be in life and know that the grass will not be greener (it actually might be brown), but you just might enjoy it better, on the other side! After you choose a place, pull out the ole "pros and cons" list. teehee
On a different note, I'm a native Texan, lived in Dallas, Houston, East Texas and Central. Love the state, but the heat, humidity and and over abundance of ILLEGAL immigrants, took its toll and I couldn't wait to leave!! My entire life, family, friends, including my son, is still there. I get to visit in the summer and spend a few weeks with them all and I can't wait to visit, but also look forward to leaving when I'm done visiting... for many reasons.
Question...Have you ever asked your employer if you could take a sabbatical, that way you can keep your job and benefits while you're trying to figure this out. Solution for him, he can hire a temp. If you're "like family" he should care enough about you to be in agreement. You could move to the locale of your dreams for say, a month or two, and you really have lost nothing. Put stuff in storage, rent month-month, no commitments.
Q2-Where would you like to go, besides Dallas? (I love Dallas, BTW) Are you ready for the ocean, mountains, or just a nice, small mid-west town with four seasons and lot's of farming?
I like to google "BEST PLACES TO LIVE IN 2013 FOR JOBS, QUALITY OF LIFE, ETC" and tons of lists come up. Gives you some perspective on the great places in America to be.
Q3- Are you a Christian, if so, have you prayed about this? God can and will lead you through it.
The best part of relocating is the process. It is stressful but it is exciting to defy societal norms by quitting your secure job and moving to a place where you know no one. It is quite empowering.
Totally agree! Empowerment is a beautiful thing .
TXred, if you're getting cold feet (intuition/gut instinct) about Dallas, you shouldn't ignore those feelings. As I've gotten older, I've learned to trust my intuition more than I trust myself. (Intuition: a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.) I would recommend listening to your intuition when it comes to the Dallas move.
As far as the East Coast thing, why not take a mini-vacation out there to see if a particular place piques your interest? Look for a place that can support your hobbies and interests (e.g., museums, nature trails, festivals, etc.), has a low-to-medium cost of living (in case you can't find a job immediately), low crime rate, tolerable weather, tolerable traffic, etc.
I personally think you'll be miserable if you stay where you are. You'll always have that nagging "woulda coulda shoulda" feeling gnawing at your soul every other week.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. If you never take that one step, how can you begin a journey? You can either begin a journey into the unknown, or you can learn to love "stagnant comfort (your words, not mine)." The choice is yours. I wish you luck in whichever path you choose to take .
I've been told, never move for family, jobs, or circumstances, and it's sooo true! We've actually moved several times in the last 20+years, once for family, several times for jobs and always to try and better our circumstances. However, I'm finding that my entire immediate family are considering a crazy move, similar to yours, and to a place that WE WANT and ENJOY. I will NEVER move/stay for family, friends or circumstances, again. The decision to stay or go has to come from inside you. You have to look at where you're at and where you want to be in life and know that the grass will not be greener (it actually might be brown), but you just might enjoy it better, on the other side! After you choose a place, pull out the ole "pros and cons" list. teehee
On a different note, I'm a native Texan, lived in Dallas, Houston, East Texas and Central. Love the state, but the heat, humidity and and over abundance of ILLEGAL immigrants, took its toll and I couldn't wait to leave!! My entire life, family, friends, including my son, is still there. I get to visit in the summer and spend a few weeks with them all and I can't wait to visit, but also look forward to leaving when I'm done visiting... for many reasons.
Question...Have you ever asked your employer if you could take a sabbatical, that way you can keep your job and benefits while you're trying to figure this out. Solution for him, he can hire a temp. If you're "like family" he should care enough about you to be in agreement. You could move to the locale of your dreams for say, a month or two, and you really have lost nothing. Put stuff in storage, rent month-month, no commitments.
Q2-Where would you like to go, besides Dallas? (I love Dallas, BTW) Are you ready for the ocean, mountains, or just a nice, small mid-west town with four seasons and lot's of farming?
I like to google "BEST PLACES TO LIVE IN 2013 FOR JOBS, QUALITY OF LIFE, ETC" and tons of lists come up. Gives you some perspective on the great places in America to be.
Q3- Are you a Christian, if so, have you prayed about this? God can and will lead you through it.
Good luck!
Thank you everyone for your words!!! And Tsample..thank you for this. When I first started reading it I thought well what would you move for then??? And you answered it...because you want to!! And that's where I am. I should have mentioned in my posts that my job is really getting the best of me here as well. A couple years ago when I first started thinking about moving I told friends, I love my job, but am ready for a change. That wasn't enough of a reason to take the risk. Now I can say honestly I don't love my job any more...I am burned out and am wanting a new challange and to further my career.
I do have a possible opportunity with a great friend who worked with me several years, and he is now a top manager at a great company in the midwest. He has mentioned me coming out a few times and now the possibility is even greater. I gave my six months notice to my boss today! He was surprised...but knows I need to do what will make me happy and we are going to work together to get my replacement up to speed.
I feel pretty good about it now, I have three "plans" as far as A, B, and C...Plan A is I will meet with my friends boss within a month or so and if they offer me a job I will take it. It is a great career move. If that doesn't pan out my plan B is to apply for jobs in cities I would love to work and live in...Seattle, New York, Pittsburgh, Chicago.... Of course if I got an interview that would give me the opportunity to check out the city before I accept an offer as I've only been to Seattle and Chicago.
IF I don't get a job that way (I've read a lot about how hard it is to get a job out of state) my plan C is to move to Dallas without a job (although I would of course apply for a bunch before I go). I have family there and Houston, and I know I can get a good enough job within a month or so of being there. If it's not my dream job that's ok..I'll figure that out once I'm settled.
And to answer your question I am ready for the big city life! After living in a small city/town my whole life I'm ready for the big times. And yes I am a Christian and have prayed for this sooo much...I feel like today, the comfort I feel after giving my notice, and the calm I feel about my decision is my answer that I need to do it.
Wherever you are going to move to, make sure you have the financial resources to cover the cost of living. It's really hard to find a good place with plenty of jobs without costing too much
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Why not plan a few trips within a few hours of where you live and find a little getaway...could be a good investment and just what the Dr. ordered. Good luck
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