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Hi there. I was looking for some advice, suggestions or thoughts as to whether or not I should try and convince my husband to move back to Florida.
My husband and I are both native Floridians, and we moved to Colorado a little over 2 years ago for his job. We got our relocation costs completely paid for by his company and he was required to stay here for at least 2 years. If we left sooner than that we would have to pay back relocation costs. His brother and sister-in-law had also moved out here, but recently moved back to Florida. So, we have been here now for 2 and a half years and up until recently I wasn't feeling homesick, really. I mean, I missed my friends and family, but not enough to make me feel depressed, which I do now. We are now having our first house built and have already invest around 4K, and if we were to back out we would lose it. I do have a job here, and I dont hate it, and would actually love to be able to telecommute if we moved back. What neither my husband or I have, are friends here. We did join a meetup group for doggie play dates at a local dog park, which meets every other Thursday, but still dont seem to be making any real connections. Now, that doesnt really bother my husband too much, as he's not very social, hes very much an introvert, but Im the opposite.
Recently, within the last few months, Ive started really missing Florida, everything about Florida, the humidity, the beaches, the smell of the ocean, my friends, family and my in-laws. I did tell my husband that Im feeling homesick and miss Florida, and he just responded with "We'll have to start visiting once a year". We got married in November 2014 and had our wedding in Florida, so that was less than a year ago, and I remember when we got to Florida, I felt like I was home, and didn't want to come back to Colorado (I was only happy to be back in Colorado, to see my dogs again).
I've already estimated out the cost of moving, and I'm estimating it would cost around 8 or 9K. But I really want to move back to Florida, is there anyway I could convince my husband to move back? Or am I being selfish?
How happy is he with Colorado? Are you asking him to give up a place he loves? What about his job?
He doesn't seem to love it or hate it. He's pretty indifferent right now. When we first moved out here, he was the one who said that after 2 years we would move back, and at that time, I was exited for the new environment, and had no desire to move back, but I told him we can cross that bridge when we get there. He has met his 2 year requirement for his job, and so we would not have to pay back any relocation costs that his company paid for, but we would have to pay for our own move back. I am sure that he would be able to get a position at his company back in Florida, since his brother did, and we moved out here just a few months after his brother did.
I guess it all boils down to finances. I would sit down with him, tell him you want to go back and start looking at costs and how much time it would take to save up. I find a good plan gives confidence and goals.
I guess it all boils down to finances. I would sit down with him, tell him you want to go back and start looking at costs and how much time it would take to save up. I find a good plan gives confidence and goals.
Finances are a big thing for him. And I know that cost of living (at least in the area we would move back to) is less than it is here in Colorado. So I am hoping that maybe that can help convince him. I plan on us sitting down this weekend and seriously talking it over. Since our house is still being built, we still have the option to back out before we get closer to closing on it. Sure, we would be out around 4K, but we'd be able to use the money that we would have used for the down payment for the move back, which we already have saved up.
The other issue we may run into is how his parents and my parents would look at that decision. I hear at least once a day from my parents that moving out here was the best thing we could have done, and that we would be stupid if we went back to Florida...I guess that's just something we'll have to deal with :/
My husband and I are both native Floridians, and we moved to Colorado a little over 2 years ago
Ha! I am a native Coloradan who moved to Florida and am now trying to make my way back west. I moved for work though and don't have any family in Florida.
I guess the only things I have to tell you are, have the discussion with your husband since he is ambivalent about Colorado. Lower cost of living is definitely a point in your favor. As for your family and your husband's family, they have made their decisions and lived their lives. You have the right to do the same and be happy. Good luck to you and I hope you find your happy place in Florida!
Ha! I am a native Coloradan who moved to Florida and am now trying to make my way back west. I moved for work though and don't have any family in Florida.
I guess the only things I have to tell you are, have the discussion with your husband since he is ambivalent about Colorado. Lower cost of living is definitely a point in your favor. As for your family and your husband's family, they have made their decisions and lived their lives. You have the right to do the same and be happy. Good luck to you and I hope you find your happy place in Florida!
I needed to hear that, thank you. I get way to concerned about what my family thinks. We are a married couple and have to live our lives how we feel would be best! Thank you!
Florida is a big state, you might not have to live in the same town as your parents, and could visit and get to family affairs when convenient. It sounds like you are ready to make a long term plan (6 months to a year) for getting yourselves back to Florida. Finances and employment will be the largest part of it~It is expensive to move, perhaps he can look for something within the company and get part of the moving costs paid for again? Are jobs (for which he is qualified) often posted? Would he be okay with a transfer in 6 months, 9 months or longer? Can he approach HR and ask? Would the feasibility of moving to a state close, but not necessarily Florida, be possible? Lots of options, definitely worth exploring and discussing the pros/cons. Your dogs will be happy wherever their "people" are....
OP, that's a lot of money just because you don't have "friends" (and you're missing the weather). And if you move back, you may not have "friends" there, either, plus with the economy in FL is down and going, which is why costs are so low. Stay in CO for now if you can.
I would suggest:
1) Take a week-long vacation to FL -- chances are, you'll see what you remember isn't so cool now.
2) Try some different activities in CO -- try a cooking or wine tasting class or volunteer to build a house with Habitat for Humanity (if that fits with your values)
3) Find other interests that you can do alone or with your husband
People are really unstable these days! It's a really bad idea to count on them. Try to be content with yourself, first.
And give it another year! It doesn't matter where one lives. Sometimes there aren't any "friends" available. People get busy, get sick, have to focus on their families. That's just life sometimes.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Just curious, what triggered your desire to go back to Florida? If you both got to the point of building a new house, it would seem that you were looking forward to planning your future in Colorado?
IMO, lack of friends (for me would translate to loneliness and possibly feeling isolated) and not liking the weather are quality of life issues that should be resolved. In other woods, those seem like pretty good reasons (to me, anyway) to move.
In the end, the heart wants what it wants. And you only get one shot at this life. You tried Colorado. Gave it a shot. It's not what you want. Go back to Florida and be happy.
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