Moving away from mom out of state (relocate, jobs, cheap)
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Im 28 years old. Last year I moved from Ohio to SC for the winter . I wanted to stay and make it work , but couldnt seem to land a job. I was staying with my father so just had money saved to get me by . I came back to Ohio after I ran out of money . Also from being depressed missing home. Im about to do it again for another try , since i have jobs and interviews lined up. Its pretty hard for me to leave my mom again. I have it made here and pay some rent. At 28 I know i need to buck up and go for it. Ive always read you wont get anywhere in life living at home. Then again , Ive always wanted to move away from the snow up north. If i cant leave at 28 , it will probably be alot harder to move later on .
Anyone had a similar situation? How did you cope with it.
Sometimes it takes several tries before you permanently leave the nest, and that's ok. My daughter is a late bloomer and she is roughly your age and on her third (or fourth) attempt she finally seems to have found a living situation away from home that works for her.
She has a roommate to help keep expenses manageable and to have someone to talk to and do things with from time to time. I think that helps a lot, even though having a roomie can be a pain sometimes. It kind of helps with the homesickness situation if you aren't coming home to an empty place every day. She also has a pet and that helps too.
We chat for a few minutes every day, facebook, text, or whatever, just to stay in touch. Visiting is good too. She is only an hour away so I go to visit when I can (and sleep on the couch, lol) and she knows she is welcome here anytime even though it's harder for her to find the money and time to get here. Even harder for you to do the further away you are, but I'd still make it a priority if you're close to your mom.
I'm sure your mom would be proud and happy for you to find your place in the world, but I also think she would probably understand if it took you a little longer and another couple of tries to find that place.
This is 2016, there's no reason to miss your mom. You can see her on Skype or Facetime several times a day if you want, and can text her all day long and talk to her on the phone, too.
If you need your mother because she's the one providing your main economic and emotional support, then at your age it is definitely time to move out and begin the process of becoming a mature human being.
On the other hand, plenty of people don't move and lead perfectly comfortable lives. If you can find work that pays enough to support yourself and save for emergencies and retirement, and if you can find personal relationships that meet your needs (do you want a family?), and if you can learn to rely on yourself for economic and emotional stability, then just stay home.
Last edited by 601halfdozen0theother; 10-08-2016 at 02:09 PM..
Thanks for the replys. Actually on the road now almost there. The feeling of being upset lifted once i got on the road. Besides my mok, it was the animals and that home feeling i missed as well.
Once I finished college, I never went back to live at home. During breaks I did stay there temporarily but I quickly realized I was the little girl there and my mother mothered me way too much. It was a setback that I wasn't willing to put up with and so, except for brief periods in my life (moving to a different state, divorce, etc), I never ever wanted to be back in my childhood home. Because there, I WAS a child again.
If you are missing your mom, is there a way she would want to relocate to where you are? We had to move for a variety of reasons and after 9 months my folks are ready to follow us to our new location. Of course we also have kiddo's now and my parents miss their grandkids.
Just remember this: homesickness is a normal and common reaction to moving to a new place. It doesn't mean you've made the wrong choice; it just means your brain is struggling to make sense of the unfamiliar. When you feel homesick (which you probably will) don't stew in it. Acknowledge your feelings, then get out and do something FUN in your new location. Also, try to find ways to make your new location feel familiar as quickly as possible -- for instance, find a coffee shop or restaurant that you really like and become a "regular" there once or twice a week. Try to also get yourself into a routine as quickly as possible, even if you don't have a job immediately -- get up each day at the same time and get out of the house. Check meetup.com for group activities with people that share your interests so you can start making some acquaintances, as that helps too. Make a list of 10 places to visit in your new community that sound interesting, then get out and see them. Explore and have fun! Good luck with your move!
I wish you the best of luck in your travels. Understand that location does not alter problems significantly. You are you no matter where you are. Figure out where your boundaries are - whether physical or otherwise - and live by them. If you miss your mom, by all means, talk to her and have her visit or go to visit her yourself. You will do well because you are a thinking person!
Try out your local public library- resources are free and they often have movies nights etc when you can meet new people with similar interests in a careful atmosphere. they often have free or cheap classes for helping with career goals and even with learning how o save $ for your future.
I remember the first time I moved away. I moved cross country and it was the first time I'd be living in a different city than them so they were always nearby if I needed some sort of help. We were all pretty emotional when I left and it didn't really go away until I got things moved into my new place and I developed a routine in my new city and state. No I wasn't sitting in the corner crying or anything, but I was pretty homesick. The routine allowed me to meet people with similar interests and through them, I met other people, some with similar interests, others with nothing in common with me. While similar interests makes it easy to meet people, don't rule out somebody just because there doesn't seem to be anything in common between the 2 of you.
I think the biggest key for me, and I've already said it, but will say it again, was developing a routine. Routine may not equal fun, but it will keep you occupied.
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