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I see a trend here. People moved back after only living 6 months in the new place. I don't think that is enough time to decide if you like it or not. People tend to get homesick in that time and run back home. I think it takes at least 1 year to get used to the new place. We have to remember why we left in the first place to move to the new state.
Most people that I know, who have moved back, realized they have made the wrong decision.
I too think it takes a year to get to know a place at all. I moved to Indiana in April and it took six months before I felt like I even knew my way around properly. Giving an extra six months to do an evaluation is imperative.
I moved to up north to be close to Family/ Friends, but the cost of living and fastpacedness was too much. Moved back to the south pretty quickly, and realized that I should have given my first move more time. Going to stay here until I can land a job again up there. Sometimes you have to see your options firsthand and learn life lessons to truly appreciate what you have. I need to be closer to Family and realize now that I have to sacrifice and adjust to make this happen. when leaving I was the only one pushing to go, while others told me to stick it out and it would get better. Should have listened, even though my gut said otherwise. Some may say Family/hometown is overrated; I say a safety net and support system are crucial to a well balanced life.
Well you know now once you get it sold you'll never move back there again. Had a similar experience moving from VT to NC then moving back to VT again. Was in VT a summer and could not find work so relocated back to NC. Got working back at my old job and eventually got another, better job.
I am glad to know that I am not alone. I relocated and it was a horrific nightmare. I did not want to return but it was the right decision. I am slowly building a new life in my home town.
I moved to and from El Paso several times. Its a great friendly place but I wanted to see a lot more of the country. Because El Paso is desert I have lived the last 16 years on the ocean in Rockport- a wonderful town. Eventually though I will return to El Paso. I'm excited about it.
When I was struggling to make the decision to move my family from Huntsville, Al. (Where I was from)to Santa Barbara, Ca.(Where my husband is from), I sought counseling with a psychologist who gave me some good advice: He said you make the decision based on what is best for "The group", meaning the family as a whole. This was hard because I had been a travel nurse out there and loved it and was very biased, so it was hard to see it might not be the best move for us all. It is also hard to think clearly when you have family in one place making you feel guilty for moving so far away with the grandkids, because they are getting older, etc. It can all work out, but you have to have a strong marriage with your spouse, if you move away from a strong support system back home to a place where there is none. There is something to be said for having family close by. I get homesick often for my mom.
I did that when I moved to south Florida eight years ago. My mother told me "come back and live here and go back to school". Worst decision I ever made. Still regret it.
It's great to know that others question the real place to call home. I'm doing that now. Has anyone relocated to an area and found that it's perfect for them, but moved back because someone else in the family didn't feel the same way? After two yrs of cold feet we finally moved to the west coast from the midwest. I love it and it feels so much like home. I have a 14yr old who only talks about going back to his school dist and his friends. I feel so guilty. I'd love to see him walk into school with his best friend and have all of those high school memories with them, but I'm afraid that if we go back, we'll get stuck there. I loved our house, but I couldn't stand the town we lived in. It had to be the most boring place on earth. I can't imagine that lifestyle again. I'm sure the dh will nt want to search for another job 4 yrs from now. How do you handle it with kids, or how get rid of the guilt of uprooting someone who didn't want to be? thanks
twotoneshoes: Don't feel guilty for doing what you believe is in the best interest of your family! Everyone will approach change differently, and you just need to be respectful of your son's perspective (which is what you're doing). I'm sure you had some very good reasons why you chose to move your family, and you must have taken your son into account. The ability to be okay with changes in life is a really important skill, and it will help him immensely as he grows. For now, make sure that you communicate well with your entire family about the things you all like and dislike about where you came from and where you are now. Let your son know that it's perfectly okay to miss where you were, but moving on is a part of life. New places bring new experiences, finding new things you love, and new things you can't live without, too. If you make him part of the family discussion on what you'll do in the new location and how you should spend your time there, he may be more inclined to jump in and find things he likes. You can still find ways to connect with the old place, too, even if you aren't close enough to go there (Skype with people, find organizational sites online, etc). Just make sure that you understand why he's missing the old place and find ways to engage him in the new one. Stay strong in why your decision to move was a good one, and maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much he comes around to the new place, too!
I'm so glad I found this thread. Not sure if anyone will read this. I moved from Metro Detroit to Los Angeles by myself 5 years ago in my early twenties. I worked from home so finding a new job was a non issue. I had a blast but always felt guilty for leaving my empty nest parents. This year personal issues and a bad work environment made me feel like moving back home was the thing to do. Well, it's been four months and I think about moving back to LA everyday. I don't know how my family and friends will handle the news if I do go back. I'm working on saving up money and finding a job. I still have lots of friends in LA and this time I know the city. I hope to move back in the summer. Is this crazy?
I am wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. My dh, two young children and I relocated to a new city in the same state (AL). Due to unforeseen circumstances (our house not selling), we felt we had to move back to our old town. We have been back 7 months now and I am still miserable and desperately want to move back to where we originally relocated. I am having a little trouble convincing dh to do it all again though. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you handle it? I hate feeling like this and know that we made a huge mistake coming back.
No I have not experienced this exact situation, but I think I can empathize with you.
It seems as though your husband just doesn't want to move again. Perhaps, he is afraid of looking foolish to others - like someone who can't make up their mind. What ever...
To that I say, LIVE WHERE YOU LIKE and DO NOT WORRY about what others think. Tell your husband that you were happier in the new location - consider renting out your house.
Best of luck,
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