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well said.
While our grown kids are still our kids... they're grown... and could turn around and leave at any time. This is our time. We'll miss them sure. However they're so busy with their lives that why shouldn't we move?! They know why we're moving... So Cal blows. And as I see it.. I am SICK to death of 90 degree weather at the end of October!!!!! Sure,
we're close to all kinds of stuff/places... but who has the time to go? I know it sure isn't me? Or my husband, before he relo'd. We're too frickin busy making ends meet. And we do NOT live an extravagant life!!! So bring on the snow and public transportation...and whatever else life throws at us!!!
In the end it will be you and your spouse...kids join a life already in progress... keep that in mind.
In the end it will be you and your spouse...kids join a life already in progress... keep that in mind.
LOVE this line! I am going to share it with my kids should the need ever arise! Basically, my older children that stayed in MI were very supportive. They knew that this was not just a whim, but a better opportunity for my husband and me. My son (18) said, "go mom, don't feel bad, look at it as an adventure!" It was so sweet.
Thank you for your response. I don't need the big house either, it just so happens that for under $200,000 you can get one here in GA. The problem was in Ca we couldn't even afford a small one unless we went out to riverside county. The air quality is horrible out there. Now that you have moved back, can you afford to live comforably or are you stressed out about money? What sacrifices and adjustments did you need to make in order to live in Ca again?
I moved out of Riverside to Oaklahoma two months ago and while family was left behind I wouldn't go back. My tiny apartment was 900 dollars a month and that was because it was a 55 plus place. The traffic was horrible and don't even talk about the air quality. I was out of breath by the end of the block. Can breath freely and have lots of energy here.
My son lives with his fathers family and is in high school so I gave this lots of thought. Origionally I was planning to move after he graduated, but a very good deal showed up and I had to grab it. I asked my son and he's good with it. He'd much rather see me happy and not always stressed than miserable. And having a house and a yard with trees can't be forgotten.
A lot of people said why would you move so far away. But the cost of living in California, even the places where you do find more rural areas, is still terrible. And this is my adventure in life.
Nobody should be afraid to move away, when they can find a good place for themselves and kids. Think of generations of people who left home to try somewhere else. They had little hope of seeing family ever again but they went. texting, phone, email, all sorts of ways are available now... plus taking a trip or two a year. And what's better than to have them visit you and show them around your new home.
No matter how much home prices come down in California, they'll never be reasonable. And with less property tax money due to dropping values cities will just raise the rates and add more fees for everything.
I miss family, especially the birthday parties. I will be going back for Thanksgiving but thats all I can afford, and my son will be coming for a visit in the summer. But I don't miss family so much I want to be miserable there over missing family gatherings. And given the cost of living in cali, no telling if kids and grandkids will even live there anymore.
Almost all of my family (immediate and extended) lives around the Chicago area. (with the exception of some extended that lives in eastern Iowa, which isn't TOO far away). I'm planning on moving to Denver BY myself for the sheer fact that I want to break out on my own (i'm still living with my parents and I'm 25) and I love the mountains and nature in Colorado.
My mom HATES the idea because if I stay out there and start a family there she "doesn't want to be that far away from her grandchildren" ..... which I don't GET coming from HER since our family moved from Virginia, to North Carolina, to Kentucky, to Ohio, finally to Illinois over the past 25 years..... She knows what it's like to live far from extended family......
But even though EVERY family member is here in the midwest I still want to break out on my own in Denver because it's CHEAPER and SO much more pretty then FLAT illinois. I figure I can always hop on a plane if I want to visit. and if my parents want me to visit THAT bad they'll pay for the plane ticket :P
Something my husband says to me all the time: "your family once you marry and have children become your extended family, what once was your "family" now consists of you your spouse and children" I struggle with the same kinda thing right now, Im originaly from Pa, and my husband Mo. we are looking to relocate anywhere, somewhere, our family is starting from scratch again. We have been hooked on Michigan for some time now. My father and i have only started to have a relationship again after 5 years. And he's getting older and is health is not what it use to be. So i struggle at times do we move to Pa. Mi. or where on this earth do we go. THEN...i think to myself the same line my husband drills into me. and he's right. we have to live for our children, and if my children see me struggle with this notion of bein closer to family or what, they wont learn to go on their own when their old enough and experience all the world has to offer.
And i realized that only seeing my father once every 5-6 months, that time shared is more precious than seeing him all the time and taking that for granted.
You will make new friends where you move to that they also become your extended family, and think how great that will be for you and your family.
I am very close to my parents, but the closest I have lived to them in the last 12 years is 2.5 hours. I currently live 2000 miles away. It is difficult, and I miss them, but we visit when we can and we talk a lot on the phone.
For me, it is more important to stay home with my children, or to at least have the option of. Grandparents are needed in children's lives, but they need their parents far, far more, so your choice to move to Georgia would be the same one I would make. Try to have a positive attitude and try it out for at least one year. Try hard to find a friend or two, even if it is only a neighbor or mother of your child's friend. It will make it much easier to endure in the beginning.
Additionally, your parents may visit and see how happy you are and how wonderful Georgia is and want to move there themselves or retire there. I know my parents wish we would stop moving so they can see if they would want to retire near us.
My mother sends care packages for the boys and I set up a free website to post photos and a little family blog to keep everyone updated on the little things going on in our lives. We are planning to visit during the summer, while our parents are planning to visit us in the winter. When we visit next summer, I plan on going for two or three weeks, with my husband joining us for a week of it. That way, my husband's vacation isn't all eaten up in one go, and the boys and I get a longer visit in without being away from daddy for too long (plus we have three sets of parents to visit, all about 4-5 hours apart! We can concentrate on visiting my inlaws when my hubby comes, and the boys and I can spend more time with my parents when he is in AZ).
There is also a wonderful thread in the grandparent forum on ways for grandparents/children to stay close across the miles. You might want to check it out.
For me, I don't look to family to make me happy. I'm happier without them around. BUT what if your family moved to where you're at?
I personally don't agree with people moving away from the place they're born, but I can't enforce that decision on anyone else...
but if it was too expensive out there for you, perhaps it's cheaper for them to move also?
Pardon me? In many cases: an individual's personal culture conflicts with where they were born/raised. That was very true in my case.............over and beyond I hated the winters where I came from as well. So I solved the problem by moving to California/Arizona 30+ years ago
Back to the OP: there are no 'morals' involved as to why she and her family moved away. Sadness perhaps but that is different.
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