How long does it take to adjust to a move, do you think? (relocate, rental)

[brook2ga]

My last move was about 7 months ago after living in the same house for over 12 years. I thought it would be a difficult move, but it wasn't. While I do miss some of the people, I felt at home very quickly.

[Oildog]

In the last 18 years of my professional life I have moved 5 times, all for work reasons...usually 20% more pay and a higher mark on the career belt. I've found it takes me about a year to develop a routine...like finding a doctor, dentist, barber, cleaner, church etc I like. Hopefully I have a couple of acquaintances I can hang with at that point. After two years I'm 'settled in' as far as I go.

Have to admit I'm getting tired of the moves. The older you get I think its tougher. Maybe I was hungrier for opportunity in my 20s, and would move at the drop of the hat. Now I think I'd like to stay a while. Once you find a place you like its hard to move somewhere less desirable. Maybe thats just me...but I'll have to really think about getting off the corporate ride...

[Sudcaro]

I think it really depends on "who" (you are) and "where" (you live). Noone will feel the same or react the same way.
I have moved about 8 times in my life, including to other regions in my country, and two foreign countries, and I never ever had any problem adjusting, though all these places were very different, though I moved for various reasons and did not always choose "where"...
We moved to the USA last January from Europe after my husband was given a position here in SC, and it took me about one and a half months to adjust completely -actually the time it took us to deal with all the paperwork (getting a social security number, driving license, bank account etc), find a house to rent and get settled in it! (we spent the whole first month in a hotel room, and had one car for 2). After one week here (once the jetlag was gone), I was already feeling comfortable and quite knew my way around (I'm not in a huge city and speak English, that probably helps!).
Moving to a very different place is not always easy, it's always a very stressful situation, but I believe it's up to ourselves to make the new place feel like home!

[Wing Feathers]

I have the opposite issue. I *love* a place for the first year, then get over it and want to move.

[Da2ofus]

Hi, I am not sure this posting is still "Alive"..I notice that all the postings are older.
I am much like NYMD67. My husbands job has transfered us back where we first started out. I hate it up here. We moved from a small village, population of 600+ in Ohio i to 12 acres of beauty in Kentucky in 2002. We had an electrical fire in 2009 and we lost everything. We had good insurance and built the house of our dreams, worked hard clearing and fencing 5 acres for our horses and cows and were learning to be self sufficient. Husbands job took a turn for the worst and he was on permanent layoff as of Jan 2010, so he put in a transfer for a more sound plant in Indiana. We moved in March and I have hated it ever since. I want to go home so bad, our house is still sitting there for sale and the pasture is getting overgrown. We were able to get a 2nd mortgage and we bought a home after a dreaded 2 month stay in apartments. I HATE it here. The only thing to keep me from crying everyday is to stay as busy as I possibly can. Sadly I am running out of things to do. Hobbies cost money and we are living tight with 2 mortgages.. I just want to go home and hubby won't let me pack my things and go back to Ky.. Please any insight on what might help me adjust here.. I personally think I gave up too much too fast and feeling all the pain.. I had 2 horses, 2 cows and another dog and a few outdoor cats that I had to find homes for and leave behind. There is nothing for me in a subdivision and I am screaming to go home!!!

[MaryleeII]

We just moved, and probably we will "adjust" when I get all the boxes unpacked. Right now, we're "boxed in". How did we manage to collect so much crap? We got rid of so much before the move, donations, garage sales, trash haul offs, furniture sales, you'd think we were going to leave naked, how did we still have two trucks crammed with enough crap to furnish two households, and boxes out our wazoo?

I don't think we will ever adjust, just unpack! Then WTH to do with the unpacked stuff? No place to put it, so, box it up again, this time with nice, neat little labels.

I'm passing it on to my children. DD helped me wrap my china cabinet and 3 curio cabinets. Prior to that, she just thought it was stuff in glass cases. As we wrapped, I told her the stories behind each item. Now they have a feel to them, she won't be able to get rid of them, so, the curse is passed on, she will be stuck with great aunt mabels fricking china! One night I'm going to have a get-rid -of-the-crap party, we will all smash the damned china, figurines, etc and quit lugging it around the country. Why not donate it to Goodwill? Sure, some bums really need fine china at the soup kitchen..........

[NDak15]

In my experience it takes a year to adjust to a move. That first year is a honeymoon where you experience all of the seasons, holidays, etc, It can also take that long to make friends.

[MSPLove]

Depends on the place. Every place has it's own vibe. Some places figuratively rise up to greet you. You just feel at home there, and there's no rhyme or reason why, and it happens with an effortlessness. And then, on the other hand, there are other places that just never feel like Home no matter how you try. Oh, you can carve out your little niche in those "off" places. You can still find friends, things you enjoy doing in that area, and places you like frequenting.... but it's still never Home and there's no logical reason why.

[Flowergirl619]

I've also moved recently and although I have found the move to the CA desert difficult , I am feeling torn apart at how difficult it has been for our 6 yr old to adjust. We moved from a beach community in SD and the children in the small small town we now reside in aren't very friendly it seems. He is finding it very difficult to make friends and feels that the kids at school don't like him. This has been a complete contrast to his previous experience at his other school. My heart aches for my son but I feel that if I make time at our new home as pleasant as possible it will over ride the negitive experience he is having at school as the new kid from out-of-town. Any advise?

[Flowergirl619]

Originally Posted by KikiMonster

I think you are right about a process of grief.......

I did something today that I never thought I would do -I got a prescription for an anti-depressant. I don't think I am a depressive type but I recognize that I am officially having the blues big time and I am hoping this will enable me to focus more on the good things rather than staying stuck in the grief process. I think I am also going to talk to a counselor.

Overall and on the surface, I am *fine* but underneath it, I spend a lot of time relieving my old life and pining away for it......

I was embarrassed bringing it up to my doctor especially as I have a logical reason for having the blues. She said given my family history and the huge life change we are experiencing, she thought it was a prudent step. If it were just me, I'd tough it out until I felt more adjusted and better but given I have small children and need to be "on" for them, it seemed like a reasonable step. Bad enough they are also adjusting without dealing with a mopey mom!! :-)

Thanks for the input!

Monster

Kiki,
I just spent some time myself indulging in my "blues" I cried to my mom for about 1/2 hour last night. I moved about 3 months ago and have small kids that I need to tend to. I try my very best to keep it together for them and my husband but I miss my friends and family back home, basically I miss my real life-like you. I keep telling myself this is temperary but the truth is I don't know that for sure. Good for you that you got some help, there is no shame in that.
flowergirl