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I want to know how I can determine where would be a good state or city/area for me.
I was new to the USA a few years ago and ended up where I am because it seemed like a reasonable initial choice when I immigrated, but I could have gone to any state/city/town within my budget.
I don't like where I live now, I have never connected to the area or the people and I don't see any future here.
I want to move but I have no job, very little in savings and no idea where I might move to.
I can read up on areas and have done a fair amount of this, but what I can't find out about are all those subtle things that exist in any area but which aren't mentioned or talked about.
For example, where I am now is very family oriented and there is essentially nothing for single people with no kids. There is no way to find this out.
I and other singles who I have spoken to when I was working have had conversations with people whose demeanor and interest suddenly evaporated upon them discovering that you don't have kids. I am not someone who needs a huge social life but still, meeting people here is quite tough.
Also, I am at a point in my life that I want to make my next move my last one or at least my 2nd last one. I have been unsettled for more than 20 years and have lived in several homes/areas in that time, mostly by necessity and I can't do this anymore.
I have a list of things I like and don't like but I feel that I can't decide on an area remotely and I can't afford to make a mistake.
I read this and other forums and whenever I think I have found a state/area that might suit me, I read a list of things and problems other people have written about that area and this then turns me off.
I realize no state or area is "perfect" and I am not idealistic about people or my living environment but the area I live now seemed nice when I did my research and I didn't see any red flags or potential issues. I also visited this area from overseas before deciding.
Start by narrowing things down--midwest, northeast, northwest. That type of thing. Then go to states within those areas of interest. Research here on CD Forum under the state you are looking at. If you go in, you'll get a "vibe" from what posters post and how things are. It might take a while, but look at old threads, too. Then, narrow in on cities. DO you want large, medium or small metro's or cities? Rural? Job opportunities? Does weather matter a lot, not at all? Politics in the state?
I know it's frustrating living in a place that isn't' right.
Not too cold (North East states and any mostly overcast/gloomy weather area like Seattle are off the list) and not too hot (I like things about Texas but I can't live in an oven all/most of the time).
Also, can't consider CA because of its lunatic politics, policies and attitudes.
I came from living in the suburbs of a large city and while I don't really want this kind of living again, I have a fear that I will be forced to go to a larger city for job prospect reasons.
I don't have any special skills so work would be a problem in smaller towns/cities (as it is currently).
I am very attracted to semi-rural living but I feel I am not prepared or skilled for that.
In addition, I do like my privacy and I have a concern that in small towns, I won't be able to have the life that I want without making myself appear weird or strange to those people already there because I don't mix with them.
I like the anonymity you can have in places like New York, but I wouldn't be able to stand the noise and density of people around me in such a place.
I can't visit any states as I have no money and I don't think short visits tell me much more than I can find out on the web.
Politically, I think I would like neutral or right of center places.
I have no need for entertainment, nightlife, museums, fancy restaurants or other often cited cultural outlets.
I like woodlands type landscapes and general greenery around me if possible.
I would want shade over my house too.
I don't care if I am near any ocean or not.
I also wanted to add that I am a non-conformist/independent kind of person.
I take everything on its merits and don't rule anything in or out because of what has happened before, regardless.
I have read many times about areas within states (and sometimes whole states) are not very friendly or welcoming to those moving to that area, especially if they don't have any roots from the region, as in my case.
This seems to be a constant feature of a lot of mid-smaller size towns that I have read about. Is this typical?
It wouldn't put me off totally if there are other pluses about an area but I have to keep it in mind.
A member kindly sent me a link to a website that aims to select suitable places to live based on your answers to a bunch of questions.
The choices it picked for me were mainly small-ish towns in SD, ND, WY, MT, UT, MN, IA, OH, MI and a few others. Top of the list was Lansing, MI.
I never heard of most of the towns mentioned but its a start and I'll be reading up on them soon.
Last edited by ISTJ Vortex; 11-10-2011 at 11:11 PM..
I also wanted to add that I am a non-conformist/independent kind of person.
I take everything on its merits and don't rule anything in or out because of what has happened before, regardless.
I have read many times about areas within states (and sometimes whole states) are not very friendly or welcoming to those moving to that area, especially if they don't have any roots from the region, as in my case.
This seems to be a constant feature of a lot of mid-smaller size towns that I have read about. Is this typical?
It wouldn't put me off totally if there are other pluses about an area but I have to keep it in mind.
A member kindly sent me a link to a website that aims to select suitable places to live based on your answers to a bunch of questions.
The choices it picked for me were mainly small-ish towns in SD, ND, WY, MT, UT, MN, IA, OH, MI and a few others. Top of the list was Lansing, MI.
I never heard of most of the towns mentioned but its a start and I'll be reading up on them soon.
After reading your posts I think you should check out Payson, AZ. It would meet just about ALL your criteria. And keep in mind that while there are a few families there that have been there since Adam and Eve, most of the people are from all over the country. The people are very live and let live, laid back and friendly. Jobs might be a bit of a problem but I never had a problem finding one. I lived there 14 years. However, I always worked in hospitality and Payson is definitely a "destination" town. People are still finding jobs in the big box and grocery stores, hotels, restaurants, etc..
Payson certainly has "shade"! It's in the largest Ponderosa pine forest in the world. There are deciduous trees as well. It's at 5,000 ft. so has nice weather most of the time. It 'might' snow a couple times in Winter but it's gone fast and in all my years there I never got to miss one day of work because of snow. Well, Dec. 1987 we got clobbered pretty good but that's rare. Summers are nice but still can get up around 90. The nights cool way down though.
Payson is convenient to Phoenix, if you had need to go there. Also to the mountains, lakes, rivers, etc.. I loved living there and might end up there again someday.
I don't see Utah as a great place if you don't have roots there, frankly. Montana, Wyoming, S. Dakota & N. Dakota--I would wonder, too, about those places for "fitting in" for people having no roots or family there. Maybe Wyoming or Montana. Very individualistic states, do your own thing, but not for "community" type feeling. I think as above poster, a smaller town in Arizona could suit you, north country.
Not too cold (North East states and any mostly overcast/gloomy weather area like Seattle are off the list) and not too hot (I like things about Texas but I can't live in an oven all/most of the time). Also, can't consider CA because of its lunatic politics, policies and attitudes.
I came from living in the suburbs of a large city and while I don't really want this kind of living again, I have a fear that I will be forced to go to a larger city for job prospect reasons.
I don't have any special skills so work would be a problem in smaller towns/cities (as it is currently).
I am very attracted to semi-rural living but I feel I am not prepared or skilled for that.
In addition, I do like my privacy and I have a concern that in small towns, I won't be able to have the life that I want without making myself appear weird or strange to those people already there because I don't mix with them.
I like the anonymity you can have in places like New York, but I wouldn't be able to stand the noise and density of people around me in such a place.
I can't visit any states as I have no money and I don't think short visits tell me much more than I can find out on the web.
Politically, I think I would like neutral or right of center places.
I have no need for entertainment, nightlife, museums, fancy restaurants or other often cited cultural outlets.
I like woodlands type landscapes and general greenery around me if possible.
I would want shade over my house too.
I don't care if I am near any ocean or not.
There are lots of places in California that would seem to fit your list of desires - but you've ruled out the entire state because you don't like the politics? You do realize that politics impact daily life very little? And you also realize that California has just as many conservative areas, as it has liberal areas? It's a BIG state! You can find a little bit of everything here.
I don't think ruling out California is your problem specifically - if you want to rule it out, that's fine! But I would watch how quickly you rule out other places for similar reasons...
As for being single in an area that is mostly families - once you narrow down you choices a little - it is very possible to post a thread in a local forum and ask if there are things for single people to do, etc. That's an easy thing to find out before you move!
I think smaller towns or cities have more of a focus on family type living than larger cities. Where are you living now? We also do not know your age range also. There are a lot of meet-up groups now in places and many of these groups involve getting together with other single people doing activities such as book groups or hiking, etc. That is a good way to meet people or gives a person a starting place.
The states that you have mentioned are states that have smaller populations. It may be more difficult to get a job in their towns. There may be low numbers of newcomers and therefore it's hard to fit in because people have built in social life with their sisters, brothers, cousins, parent, etc. that still live there and their friends are people they grew up with.
Michigan is doing very poorly economically and I think people have moved out. Is there a bigger or better town/city close to where you live now? It might be easier to get a job or try a place closer. It's very difficult to generalize the U.S. There might be 2 atheists, a Christian, Jewish person, right to lifer or left wing person living all on the same street or in the same building. Same way with towns, city or any kind of community. A person needs to live somewhere they can afford, do things they enjoy and find a pocket of community or friends based on interests. It is easier to find this in a bigger place-that place does not necessary have to be a major city however. There are differing points of views wherever you turn. There is no state opinion, more, or culture. Yes, there are more liberal leaning states or areas or conservative states, but that does not mean everyone in that area goes along with the majority.
We might be able to suggest better if we know more about you.
Well, you just assume I haven't been doing that.
I have been trying to improve my situation for a very long time, over a year before I quit my last job.
Job seeking/finding is a quite terrible experience and for those who have jobs, you certainly are not prepared for it.
I've been working in the US for about 4 years and have sweet nothing to show for it.
That would be fine if I had been living it up for all that time, but we've barely scraped by all that time and this makes me very angry and quite despairing.
I can't remember the last time I had a piece of fruit, or went on any kind of holiday.
My mind has actually considered something that I vowed never to do, even at the point of a gun, which was to go back to the country where I grew up.
Last edited by ISTJ Vortex; 12-21-2011 at 05:14 PM..
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