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I am 23M and I grew up in the northern NJ suburbs. NJ is not my favorite place, but it is a wonderful place to live and was wonderful growing up as a kid. I did hate living at home and could not wait to leave NJ to be away from my parents, and I graduated college in 2020 and I knew that getting a job was going to be impossible, but I managed to land something part time out here in the Bay Area and moved in with family out here.
My family that I live with out are great and I am very grateful to live with them, otherwise I would not be living here. I hate California and the cost of living and everything in the Bay Area is insane. I felt more at home back in NJ. I am ready to move back East and I am trying hard to get a remote job so I can live in a semi-rural PA, which is a beautiful state I have visited and dreamed of living in.
I just don't get how people want me to live out here forever. When I lived in NJ, it was the same when people kept wanting me to stay there forever.
I hate California with its high cost of living, overpopulated, poor quality of life, poorly designed roads (driving in the Bay Area is miserable!), poor infrastructure, deranged homeless people, stolen vehicle crimes, armed robberies, smash and grabs, things getting stolen, arid weather, no rain, etc.
I just don't how people want to pay a high cost of living to have no quality of life. And I am so TIRED of people telling, "It will be the same everywhere". Literally my own grandparents are the ones who told me this even though they had tons of travel experience in their lives. And they told me "you can't beat the weather". People who say it happens everywhere are wrong, because I lived in two states and things are different in each place, so the people who keep saying things are the same everywhere I wrong. My brother who lives in NJ who has not even lived in another state keep saying, "There is nothing wrong with California. It is the same as anywhere". Whenever I told people I am tired of seeing "street people" or "crazy homeless people", people just tell me, "Even where you lived in NJ had it", "That's a rich people mentality", or "you grew up privileged." Seriously? California is overrated and people do not understand me especially the people who never lived here themselves. The people who are part the California exodus due to dislike of the state are the smart ones.
I just want to live somewhere where I would rather shovel snow for one or two days of the year instead of living somewhere with crappy quality of life for 365 days a year. I need humidity and rain back, because arid weather makes me lightheaded and cars also get too hot out here even if the weather is mild. Again, so weather is not the same everywhere. I want safety which is a priority, I want to live somewhere "naturally safe" where you do not even need law enforcement to keep yourself safe from two legged creatures.
I am an adult and I am doing what I want! I am going to move regardless of what anyone tells me! My grandmother told my brother, "Why would he want to give up full time job with good benefits?" But, this is more of a "You couldn't pay me more to live here" type of scenario, because I want to be happy. My grandmother even told me, "But you have more friends out here and you did not have many friends back at home". What is the purpose of me living somewhere expensive and a poor quality of life with remote jobs these days... I don't get why people are telling me to stay in California when I am listening to music reminiscing about my memories of how great the East Coast is
If you hate California that much who cares what other people say? do whatever it takes to make your soul be happy and move elsewhere. If you feel you would be happier on the East Coast, then make that happen. I disagree with you completely about California having no quality of life, it's the best state in the country in my opinion, but if you are miserable there then you need to move somewhere where you will be happy. Thankfully the USA is huge and there's a place for everyone. The way you feel about California is the same way I feel about the Pacific Northwest, I spent so many years up there and I was miserable, I hated the people, attitudes, weather, culture, lack of diversity, everything.
Location: Miami (prev. NY, Atlanta, SF, OC and San Diego)
7,409 posts, read 6,545,347 times
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If you know where you want to live next and can work remote, trust your instincts. I left CA after 33 years with many locals asking how could I possibly live anywhere else and citing reasons, most of which have turned out to be not true, why I’d be miserable in Florida (which I’m not, 5.5 years later). I experienced a number of similar quality of life issues you stated in CA and traveled to Miami on my company’s nickel more than 15 times for 4 years before deciding it was a better fit for me. I’m grateful for having experienced and lived in 3 different CA metros over 33 years but also grateful I moved away.
I’m from the NY metro area originally myself and there are definite cultural and people differences between the 2 coasts. (What’s next, people in Mississippi are the same as Manhattanites??). Do what YOUR gut tells you to do, not what others think you should do, if you can pull it off. Good luck. You’re young and mobile and allowed mistakes on your resume for another 5 years if things do not work out.
Last edited by elchevere; 05-09-2022 at 07:39 AM..
Florida bringing those California prices. Is it that much cheaper than the Northeast and Western states with the insurance rates sky rocketing, rents off the roof, and wages still low?
Location: Miami (prev. NY, Atlanta, SF, OC and San Diego)
7,409 posts, read 6,545,347 times
Reputation: 6682
Money is not an issue for me even with the higher FL costs in recent years. I moved to Miami for several better QOL/lifestyle reasons and with my wealth earned in CA.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cjairo191
Florida bringing those California prices. Is it that much cheaper than the Northeast and Western states with the insurance rates sky rocketing, rents off the roof, and wages still low?
Last edited by elchevere; 05-09-2022 at 10:01 AM..
The Northern NJ suburbs are a shield to the realities of the rest of the country. I can speak to this as somebody from Bergen County. Going anywhere else outside the Northeast is a bit of an adjustment. It seems like in California, the issue with homelessness is more widespread esp in the Bay Area whereas in North Jersey, it’s heavily concentrated in the cities. Cause you go 10-15 minutes from some of the wealthiest areas of Northern Bergen County like Ridgewood and Franklin Lakes and Western Essex County like Glen Ridge and Essex Fells and you end up surrounded by addicts and homeless in Paterson and Newark. But the homeless never leave those areas to go to the suburbs.
The areas in NJ that you're referencing aren't much cheaper (if at all) than the Bay. 1% vs. 3.5% property tax erodes COL quickly. That said, as someone who has lived in both states (and elsewhere as well), I do agree that NNJ is significantly nicer than CA. You'll never convince the California Apologists of that, though.
The classic nobody goes there anymore because everybody goes there argument.
If a place is too expensive, in general, go to somewhere cheaper that other people don't want to live in as much. If you move to a city by the beach, it's probably more expensive to have a house on the beach than a house 11 miles away from the beach. Maybe you choose to have a 1 bedroom condo on the beach or you choose a bigger house 11 miles away.
The areas in NJ that you're referencing aren't much cheaper (if at all) than the Bay. 1% vs. 3.5% property tax erodes COL quickly. That said, as someone who has lived in both states (and elsewhere as well), I do agree that NNJ is significantly nicer than CA. You'll never convince the California Apologists of that, though.
I was shocked when I learnt just how expensive New Jersey is, the woman in this video is paying over $4K a month in rent for an apartment in Jersey city, you can rent an apartment in Los Angeles for half that price easily
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