Can a Cities culture change your personality towards people?
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Bull****. Southern hospitality is bull****. I lived in the South for over 20 years, I know of what I speak. There are good people and bad people everywhere. Stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. I've met many very warm, friendly, gregarious people from New York, Pennsylvania, etc. And I've met more than my fair share of *******s from Alabama, Georgia, etc.
With that being said, i think this is a silly question.
I think I have changed significantly since I moved to the urban Northeast. I have become more standoffish, suspicious, less social and more guarded than I did when I was living in a small town in the Midwest.
This board is full of postings complaining about how certain cities have so many jerks, or people are unfriendly in one town or another. I wonder how much of it is based on the types of personalities that will gravitate towards a particular city or people's reaction and assimilation to the standing culture of a town or state. Maybe if I would have relocated to Nashville, TN with its southern manners and open personality I would have become friendlier. It is possible living in a city can change someone without them even knowing it.
Can a town change one's personality?
I think so! I was raised mostly in central NJ which was pretty conservative,I've also lived in a few areas of eastern PA,Florida,and Virginia.
I like Virginia the best because it mellowed me out from the whole NJ thing. People noticed I had become more laid back plus I also felt more relaxed...
Unfortunately things reverted back and even got worse when I moved back up to NJ with even more extra added junk from Philadelphia! Yuk!
Try as I might to steer away from picking anything up,I notice some things creeping in here and there. The worst part is that it seems to be turning off my friends,family,and any potential friends!
If anything is a test for me to bounce back from it's this! I truly believe you can become a product of your environment...I've seen it steal a few souls myself!
I love St. Louis. I have family in the area. Everyone I've met there seems just fine.
I don't live there, but I don't see much conceit. If anything, I see people degrading their city. Maybe the reason they feel insecure is because they're constantly being described as a "little Chicago" or in your case "fly over country". Decades of other cities degrading them can breed insecurity and the need to defend yourself.
I have never met someone who feels as intensely as you do. Unless they were exaggerating. If anything, I've heard how friendly St. Louis in general is, like a little big city.
And when you go from a small town to a big city, people are going to seem colder and less friendly. That's just the way it is.
I just don't see where you get this, unless it's all you focus on. The people I've met in St. Louis seem generally friendly. And there are immigrants in St. Louis. In the past few years there have been more Bosnian immigrants coming into the city.
The Bosnians are 60% of my neighbors. I like them for the most part as they seem to be hard workers. HOWEVER, the native born StLouisans are not friendly to these people unless they themselves have actual bloodline heritage to the Baltic. They despise these people for the little bit of federal aid they get and how well they are doing with it.
You try moving to St Louis with no family or support network in place, and especially if you are from the East. Then tell me how it is.
I came here to make the place my home, not as a transient. Yet after 3 yrs, i stand by what i have said.
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Vice Versa
I think there are regional differences. I spent 40 yrs in PA: 2o in a small city and 20 yrs in a medium sized city. Now i am living in a big midwestern city. I have found people in my home state to have integrity and to be more honest in general, than people i have met in St. Louis, who all seem to be running some sort of scam regardless of their class or status. Have you heard the MO state motto? "SHOW ME" -- ? Because their WORDS cannot be trusted. Apparently since people rode mules alongside the Mississippi it has been like this.
2nd point: There is a great deal of conceit here in general, but it seems to be based on a feeling of INSECURITY. "St Louis was the first in this, the best in that" but it's because they KNOW they are considered "fly over country" or a second or third class city, by much of the rest of the country. This attitude is more dangerous than it seems, because it pervades every interaction with STL born individuals. This insecurity breeds bullies.
I can't believe that everyone in STL is like this. But a disproportionate share of the people i've encountered in 3 yrs living here is what i am commenting on. As an outsider in an insular place, i am a target... Imagine what an immigrant or refugee would face here!!
I don't think people should judge other people's experiences. Sure you may have sunshine follow you wherever you go,but things aren't the same for everybody. Plus it's more frustrating when you go from where things were once good to the pits,it's not a good feeling and you should try to exercise a little compassion for your fellow human if you are indeed such a positive person.
I think I have changed significantly since I moved to the urban Northeast. I have become more standoffish, suspicious, less social and more guarded than I did when I was living in a small town in the Midwest.
This board is full of postings complaining about how certain cities have so many jerks, or people are unfriendly in one town or another. I wonder how much of it is based on the types of personalities that will gravitate towards a particular city or people's reaction and assimilation to the standing culture of a town or state. Maybe if I would have relocated to Nashville, TN with its southern manners and open personality I would have become friendlier. It is possible living in a city can change someone without them even knowing it.
Can a town change one's personality?
Yes. I moved to Buffalo for college from the NYC/LI area. The area let me open up and breathe and I found it easier to get along with people who were not stuck on snobbery....People here were much more friendly and open than it was in my hometown... and I was 4th gen. there and knew everyone around. I just was never comfortable. It was like ranking by income for snobbery and I wasn't up at the top.That was 40 years ago. I have lived out in the rural edges now for many years and wouldn't trade it for the world -- the entire area is stable and you can count on neighbors for anything. (BTW, the motto of the city is "City of Good Neighbors")
I think there are regional differences. I spent 40 yrs in PA: 2o in a small city and 20 yrs in a medium sized city. Now i am living in a big midwestern city. I have found people in my home state to have integrity and to be more honest in general, than people i have met in St. Louis, who all seem to be running some sort of scam regardless of their class or status. Have you heard the MO state motto? "SHOW ME" -- ? Because their WORDS cannot be trusted. Apparently since people rode mules alongside the Mississippi it has been like this.
2nd point: There is a great deal of conceit here in general, but it seems to be based on a feeling of INSECURITY. "St Louis was the first in this, the best in that" but it's because they KNOW they are considered "fly over country" or a second or third class city, by much of the rest of the country. This attitude is more dangerous than it seems, because it pervades every interaction with STL born individuals. This insecurity breeds bullies.
I can't believe that everyone in STL is like this. But a disproportionate share of the people i've encountered in 3 yrs living here is what i am commenting on. As an outsider in an insular place, i am a target... Imagine what an immigrant or refugee would face here!!
Ditto. Sounds a lot like Kansas City. Most rural Missourians seem to be more level headed than their urban and suburban counterparts.
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