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Why does being interracially married make a difference? You've make a lot of assumptions in your OP and some of them take for granted bad things happening to you because of your marriage.
Oftentimes, things happen because people make a big deal out of something that isn't. Obviously, as evidenced by your post, you think it is a big deal. Perhaps a different perspective is in order.
Usually, the barriers you mentioned are put up by the people who say they exist.
First, I did not take anything for granted, only stated an observation from a close friend and his experiences. Second, I struggle with anyone having such a strong one sided opinion, having not
"walked in my shoes", unless of course you are or have been in an interracial relationship. Finally,it is my opinion that the history of prejudice and segregation, cross burnings and lynching, discrimination and laws
against miscegenation, are not and were not "put up" by those on the short end of that ugly stick.
It was not my intent to start a dialogue about race, even though a healthy respectful dialogue may be
needed by us all. I was only looking for input from people who have observed either a welcoming
atmosphere or a hostile one, in different parts of Florida, where it may be evident that skin color
was the determining factor.
Are you saying you have not seen photos of interracial couples advertised on the communities website? And your calling racism.
No. And after further thought, I may not have made that statement. I know how marketing works.
I did, however, read on these boards, several posts about 55+ communities being predominantly
white by a very large margin.
Most likely but why would one assume there are no multiracial couples living in the community or that the homeowners are racist just because the ad doesn't depict multi raciacouples
Again, I should not have gone by the ad. I have read that people of color are rare living in some of these communities. Someone else's words......not mine.
Why does being interracially married make a difference? You've make a lot of assumptions in your OP and some of them take for granted bad things happening to you because of your marriage.
Oftentimes, things happen because people make a big deal out of something that isn't. Obviously, as evidenced by your post, you think it is a big deal. Perhaps a different perspective is in order.
Usually, the barriers you mentioned are put up by the people who say they exist.
Interracial marriage is still a huge deal. Just because you haven't dealt with it, doesn't mean it's not true. My husband is Mexican and I'm white. When my husband and I were still living in Hoover, AL (a fairly affluent area), we went into Waffle House one Sunday morning before church. It was filled with older white couples. We had old white men literally turn around in their seats and give us horribly mean looks. It was so bad, we almost told them to stop staring at us like animals. My husband speaks perfect English, so it's not like we were sitting their speaking Spanish and looking weird.
That's a sad & interesting experience there that you related mrs.mhernandez. I don't know if it's necessarily more likely to occur in a southern bible belt area but I thnk that may be the case.
I had a nasty experience in a south suburban Atlanta cafeteria on a mother's day a few years ago when I was in the company of my friend. I'm not part of a mixed racial minority but a minority nevertheless.
The long-lasting, mean, intense stares from an old white woman in her Sunday churchgoing finery signaled her strong disapproval of me & my presence there. I know that I was a conversation topic at her table because her husband next to her kept on leaning over and craning his neck to see me & a woman most probably her daughter, turned around repeatedly to get a look at me.
People can be so mean & unaccepting to behave like that in public. It caught me off guard but if it were to happen to me today, I'd get the restaurant manager involved as in retrospect it was the ugliest incident of this sort to have happened to me in years & I am angry that I let the mean woman intimidate me & interfere with the enjoyment of my meal that day.
If I were the op, I'd be hesitant about moving into a southern retirement community anywhere until such concerns were addressed fully & satisfactorily by the community management.
I'm sure you feel, Mack, that what you believe is true. And it may be in some cases.
Unfortunately, we've seen that's not the case.
Over our nearly 110 years of living (my wife and I put together), we've seen people of other colors and mix-color couples rejected thoroughly by whites/Blacks/etc. even if they were very nice, quiet living people. America is not as whole-hearted as some of its individuals.
Some places are more accepting than others, but there is still a struggle in many states.
I was interracially married for eleven years and raised four biracial children (now all adults), mostly in the South and mostly in towns/cities with populations of between 100,000 and 300,000. The only place we ever had a problem was in a very small town - once - in 1982. Other than that, being an interracial couple simply didn't matter and we had a wide variety of friends wherever we lived (we are now in our fifties if that gives you some perspective).
That being said, my exhusband is a military officer, so we usually lived around a military installation and military community. Interracial marriages are EXTREMELY common in such areas.
Since apparently you've had more negative experiences than I or my kids have had - for whatever reason -my recommendation to you is that you consider living in or near any city with a large military presence. Your interracial marriage will not raise an eyebrow in such a community. There are many such communities around the US, including in Florida.
Here is a good link to the locations of military installations:
By the way, I raised my kids (after our divorce, which by the way had nothing to do with race) in northeast Texas. Just so you know, Texas is one of four or five majority-minority states, which means that white people make up less than fifty percent of the population. Since that's the case, interracial marriages are pretty common. You may want to consider a majority-minority state as well. (Hawaii, New Mexico, California and Texas are majority-minority states.)
An interesting trend to follow is the number of minority children per state - this gives an idea of the racial diversity within that state. So far - California, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Mississippi, and Maryland are states in which minority children make up the majority of children in these states.
Interracial marriage is still a huge deal. Just because you haven't dealt with it, doesn't mean it's not true. My husband is Mexican and I'm white. When my husband and I were still living in Hoover, AL (a fairly affluent area), we went into Waffle House one Sunday morning before church. It was filled with older white couples. We had old white men literally turn around in their seats and give us horribly mean looks. It was so bad, we almost told them to stop staring at us like animals. My husband speaks perfect English, so it's not like we were sitting their speaking Spanish and looking weird.
Interesting. I live in Texas and interracial marriages between Hispanics and Anglo whites are very common and wouldn't raise an eyebrow, let alone warrant a stare.
Since my kids are biracial, ALL their marriages/relationships have been interracial. No significant problems whatsoever and they are all very well adjusted and very happily married or dating. One daughter is married to the whitest guy in the world (of Czech descent from Iowa) and the other is married to a guy who is Panamanian and Italian. My oldest son is married to a Korean girl and my youngest is still single but living in Austin and dating whoever he wants.
My advice to any interracial couple is that larger towns and cities seem more receptive - in fact, your marriage/relationship will hardly even be noticed. That being said, occasionally we all run into a jerk and they could be a jerk about ANYTHING - age, gender, weight, skin color, driving style, you name it.
I also agree with the poster who said that sometimes we create our own issues with our own attitude of defensiveness. If you go looking for problems you'll probably find one.
My wife and I are considering moving to Florida when we retire. As an interracial couple doing internet research, we have not seen any mixed couples on any of the web sited for 55+ communities. I have also read on these boards that people of color are very few in these communities as a whole. East or west coast, central, northern or southern, where do you think we will find more diversity?
I do not have to be in love with all of my neighbors. As long as we are respected, that is all I can ask for.
I don't care if my neighborhood is all black, all white, all Hispanic or any combination of any and all ethnic groups. A safe, clean area where I can find a home around $200k and pleasant people must exist.
I am not looking to go on a crusade or break down any barriers. What I don't want is for someone to be breaking into my home, and have neighbors who close their curtains and turn a blind eye. I would not do that to my neighbors.
Getting back to the point of the thread versus semantics, I'm not sure diversity is necessarily the answer.
In my opinion I would look for areas where there's a larger concentration of well-educated individuals...i.e. college graduates. I'd recommend either Gainesville or Tallahassee which are Florida's two major college towns (UF and FSU respectively) where roughly 45% of the overall population has a Bachelor's degree (versus the statewide average of 27%). I would tip the scale toward Gainesville as it's significantly closer to the rest of Florida, versus Tallahassee which is nearly at the Georgia border. Gainesville also has the advantage of excellent medical care options with the UF-Shands Medical Center.
This isn't Florida - but the Virginia Beach area is very diverse. Mobile, AL is a friendly coastal small city. So is Galveston, and the Gulfport, MS area is too.
I live in an very affluent part of Sarasota. I see inter-racial couples all the time. But they are mostly snowbirds--aged 50-65. I admit I did stare at an interracial couple this week because they were so old--like 75+. As someone else said, interracial is often equated with young and hip. This couple was anything but young and hip. My thought was--"my god, those people must have been one of the first". But maybe they got together in retirement. It was just a different sight.
I agree with the person who said it is all education. None of our neighbors are racist, but we have an apartment building that caters to working class families. One of our tenants expressed concern that we were going to rent to a black family. Racism is more noticeable to us anyway here in Florida than it was in Ohio or California. But it is in the working class. Florida has a redneck population but that is not how I would characterize retirees here. Florida is getting a huge influx of retires for the northeast, mostly New York, and they bring their multi-cultural experiences with them.
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