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I think Rehoboth Beach has the worst traffic and crowds because it is smaller and has one main drag or "entrance" where most people go to access the boardwalk and beach.
Ocean City NJ, from what I've seen of it, (I've been there once) is a typical NJ beach. You're not going to find a lot of fancy rooms or anything, but it's affordable as far as beach hotels go. You probably won't find anything oceanfront if that's important to you. The hotels in NJ tend to be located off the beach. Also, you will have to pay for beach access. Most NJ beach towns require beach tags to access the beach. Kids under 12 usually are free, but adult tags usually cost $5-7 per day, although in some towns a seasonal beach tag might make sense for a longer stay. Some hotels will provide beach tags to guests. Also, when I was there, Ocean City NJ was a dry town. If you're looking for bars or other nightlife, OCNJ is not a good choice.
Ocean City MD is a typical touristy beach town. It's overpriced IMO, as you can find rooms just as nice at other towns in NJ or DE for less money. It's very crowded in the summers. Beaches are nice, but I'd just as soon go to a lesser-known town when I go to the beach.
My personal preference is for some of the NJ beach towns. We've gone to Asbury Park and Seaside Heights. Asbury Park is a quieter town. There's a boardwalk with some businesses like restaurants and gift shops, but the typical amusement park is not present. It's certainly a less crowded destination than OC MD. We also enjoyed Seaside Heights, which has more of the typical beach town boardwalk, with an amusement park. If you're looking for the 5-star, high class treatment, neither of those likely will appeal. However, if you're looking for decent beaches and affordable lodging, I suggest checking out some of the Jersey Shore towns.
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