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To each his own but I'd pass on that experience myself. Maybe I'd do it walking distance the beach in Santa Monica or Venice or something.
To each his own, indeed. My daughter had a friend who lived just with her parents (three people) in a 4000 square foot house, and she (the friend) swore that they used every bit of it. My daughter thought that was crazy, but then she didn't have the luxury of having a "bedroom," a "desk room" [nothing in it but a desk], a "music room" [nothing in it but a keyboard], and an "exercise room" [nothing in it but a treadmill]. And those were just the one kid's rooms.
Absolutely. But it would also be natural for the kids to think--hey, Mom and Dad are moving into town just to be close to us and the grandkids. Here comes the free babysitting/daycare!
...and for them to be a little bent out of shape if it turns out that Mom and Dad have no intention of watching the kids more than once a month. What'd they go to the bother of moving there for, then?
(For what it's worth, I'm embittered because we have always lived within a few miles of my in-laws, and despite mother-in-law supposedly being over the moon about becoming a grandma, she hardly ever agreed to babysit and never at our house, only hers--so there went evenings out, as kids couldn't go to bed until we got back from dinner or whatever and fetched them back home from Grandma's.)
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Originally Posted by TacoSoup
Yeah, my mom’s folks moved to San Diego shortly after we did when we were young. A few years later they moved to Sacramento near my aunt and uncle (childless). They could’ve also gone to Seattle where their other children and grandchildren were.
I didn’t give it much thought at age 10 when they moved, but hearing stories later I found out they really didn’t care much for the babysitting, driving us to sports/activities, etc. I probably could’ve gone without hearing that, lol, but it does make a lot of sense? Looking back they seemed to be much more enjoyable to be around when we’d go visit them on Thanksgiving, Easter, long weekends, etc.
Sidetracking but these two posts struck a cord. I have no doubt my parents love me and my kids, but anytime I've asked for extended babysitting, the answer has been a polite "we're pretty busy, what if....."
My MIL? Again, nice lady. But anytime we ask, it's "I have to work." Fair enough, but I've seen her call in to work with one hours notice and taken two weeks off on a whim. And called in sick 5 days in a row. So it's not that she doesn't want to take time off work, it's that she doesn't want to take time off for us.
Is Saibot's case, it sounds like your parents just want to be close and hang out when it's convenient for them or when you can actually help them.
Sad thing is, we're the nice ones. We have mean siblings on both sides of their family and they will just scream or guilt our parents into taking the kids for several days.
To each his own, indeed. My daughter had a friend who lived just with her parents (three people) in a 4000 square foot house, and she (the friend) swore that they used every bit of it. My daughter thought that was crazy, but then she didn't have the luxury of having a "bedroom," a "desk room" [nothing in it but a desk], a "music room" [nothing in it but a keyboard], and an "exercise room" [nothing in it but a treadmill]. And those were just the one kid's rooms.
As I said, "big house" is relative. I would want a kid to have their own room and I need a separate office for me. A guest bedroom is nice to have but we could live without. I like having enough common space and a backyard to have parties and throw BBQs, etc, but maybe that's a cultural difference between Texas and California.
As I said, "big house" is relative. I would want a kid to have their own room and I need a separate office for me. A guest bedroom is nice to have but we could live without. I like having enough common space and a backyard to have parties and throw BBQs, etc, but maybe that's a cultural difference between Texas and California.
Everything is bigger in Texas my friend. I've gotten used to my smallish condo. You learn to make things work.
And remember, Southern California... We were outdoors more than in, all year long.
But with the high cost of housing in SoCal, you cannot afford toys like boats. Living in a warm weather area near a large body of water makes boat ownership mandatory for me.
Everything is bigger in Texas my friend. I've gotten used to my smallish condo. You learn to make things work.
And as I said before, if you are comfortable in California and like it there you should stay! I don't get the people who relocate just because they want to save money on income taxes or whatever. That's incredibly short sighted I think. I always advise against that.
But with the high cost of housing in SoCal, you cannot afford toys like boats. Living in a warm weather area near a large body of water makes boat ownership mandatory for me.
When you say "you," you mean "I, ram2," right? Because a ton of people in SoCal have boats. We have no interest in a boat ourselves, but if we really wanted one, we could definitely afford it.
Admittedly that is because we bought a house when we did--25 years ago, not today.
Is Saibot's case, it sounds like your parents just want to be close and hang out when it's convenient for them or when you can actually help them.
You got it. Mother-in-law liked to ask the kids over to decorate Easter eggs or the Christmas tree. Or if she had friends visiting, she liked to show off her cute grandkids. On a day to day basis? We hardly saw them.
My youngest is 22 now so it's a moot point. We survived and I haven't needed a babysitter for 10 years.
You got it. Mother-in-law liked to ask the kids over to decorate Easter eggs or the Christmas tree. Or if she had friends visiting, she liked to show off her cute grandkids. On a day to day basis? We hardly saw them.
My youngest is 22 now so it's a moot point. We survived and I haven't needed a babysitter for 10 years.
My parents are still workaholics. They’d rather work than watch kids on a regular Tuesday. It’s an addiction. I already responded up top but unfortunately both sides of our family are like that. I do think they love my kids but it’s just inconvenient and they can’t be bothered. So we stopped asking because we knew wha lt the answer would be. And Avon our siblings were far more forceful and got what they wanted. N fact my BILs ex would have her mom watch her daughter 2.5 days a week, then have my MIL watch her two days a week. Lots of free time to live her life.
And as I said before, if you are comfortable in California and like it there you should stay! I don't get the people who relocate just because they want to save money on income taxes or whatever. That's incredibly short sighted I think. I always advise against that.
Is it really short sighted? Money is time, and you can't make more time.
Let's say someone with young kids is struggling to afford a $900k 1300 sq ft house in SoCal. Maybe they're working multiple jobs, or are super commuting multiple hours per day. They don't see their kids most days and are dead tired on weekends. If you miss your kids' childhood there's no getting it back. Moving to a lower COL location, "just" to save money, where they can work regular hours with essentially no commute and have a semblance of work-life balance may be worth it.
Or, consider the person who's older and house rich. Cashing out and moving some place less expensive may be worth it if it means they can retire early. Biking, hiking, fishing, travel, time to cook healthy meals at home, lower stress... not only are you more likely to be able to do these thing while you're younger, you're also more likely to stay healthier longer vs. sitting at a desk all day dealing with office politics.
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