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as far as sticking to the grand child's schedule, I'm definately for that, and also, just to keep peace, I follow mom's instructions, you've got to....no quicker way to get on the wrong side of mama, then to ignore her rules....
I had a very jealous DIL when my GD was little, and I found out very quickly that it was her way or the highway....
To fight her, only made me suffer the loss of my grand child....Now she will be 20 years old, and she comes to visit me, plus they come over once a week for dinner. My son divorced my GD's mother, and found a new love. I love her like a daughter, she is an amazing woman...and GD loves her a lot as well.
you have to remember what it was like being a young mother of a new born, and having to work...my mil held my son so much, you couldn't put him down, so we had to put an end to that but quick...and yes, she probably thought we were Satin's spawn, but, long story short, he would cry so hard, he'd hold his breath until he passed out, turned blue and out he went. We had a babysitter and it scared her so much, she called her mother, lol, when we walked in the door, she said, "what in God's name have you done to this child". We told her mil held him all the time, and she said, you'd better put an end to that but quick, otherwise, I will not allow my daughter to babysit for you. So we did...
Anyway, getting back to the topic, her baby, her rules, period....that's how it should be.
I would never use my son as a bargaining chip, even though if the shoe were on the other foot, that’s the first thing my father would do.
There does need to be a base-line level of respect—and that’s not just for interacting with my son. That’s for interacting with me and my wife, period. For years, my father treated my wife like dirt, and he saw extremely little of us as a result. As soon as he found out she was the vessel bearing his male grandchild, he did a complete 180. His motivations are transparent, but I believe in rewarding good behavior (whatever its impetus might be), and he’s behaved appropriately since my son was born.
I would never leave my son alone in my father’s house, because my father leaves at least one loaded gun lying around, but that’s another issue entirely.
My little grands are not being raised like my older ones were.
My kids slept in their own rooms after about 3 months, and so did our older grandchildren. My youngest sons children are glued to their mother 24/7. They’ve created the problem, and are living with it.
We have not experienced weaponizing, but it’s built in because the children are so coddled.
I don't think it's bizarre at all. If my kids had been napping for several hours and/or we had plans to do something, etc. I would wake them up. Maybe I just enjoyed playing with my kids more than other people.
Different parents have/had different ways of doing things.
Two of our friends wouldn't leave the baby with her parents for extended time periods because they had a strict sleep schedule for her. The parents were in the "never wake a sleeping baby" camp. Our friends had her on a relatively strict schedule since they both worked full time. Naptime was from X:00 til Y:00. Bedtime was Z:00. Wakeup too. But they spent a lot of time with her parents anyway so it wasn't like they used the kid as a pawn.
My little grands are not being raised like my older ones were.
My kids slept in their own rooms after about 3 months, and so did our older grandchildren. My youngest sons children are glued to their mother 24/7. They’ve created the problem, and are living with it.
We have not experienced weaponizing, but it’s built in because the children are so coddled.
this kind of parenting, creates monsters for the people that marry them when they become adults...it makes life so much more difficult for them...especially when they become parents, they don't have a clue how to parent, and can't handle stress or problem solving, b/c their parents do it all for them.
My son as a police officer tells me some horrifying stories of how young adults do not have a clue, it's very sad.
A group of college girls thought they heard sounds in the house, so instead of calling the police, she called her mother who lives in another state, and her mother had to tell her to immediately hang up and call the police. Very sad....
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