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I have an ongoing argument with my husband who does not have a great sense of words or how to use them.
His argument is that he knows what he means when he says something and the meaning I take away is my problem.
My argument is that if he wants to be understood he needs to take more care with the words he chooses and how he uses them.
Ultimately who do you think is responsible for the words one speaks....the speaker or the person being spoken to?
It's everybody's responsibility to attain enough of a mastery of their language and communication skills that they should be willing to take responsibility for what they say. Of course, misunderstandings occur and are sometimes not the fault of the person being misunderstood. But it's not right to just throw up one's hands and say, "that's your problem for not understanding me properly." They should make some effort to clear up the misunderstanding by clarifying their position as much as possible.
I have an ongoing argument with my husband who does not have a great sense of words or how to use them.
His argument is that he knows what he means when he says something and the meaning I take away is my problem.
My argument is that if he wants to be understood he needs to take more care with the words he chooses and how he uses them.
Ultimately who do you think is responsible for the words one speaks....the speaker or the person being spoken to?
In my opinon it is both. I do not know how long you have been married to your husband. However, after a while couples do know each other better and often learn to learn what the other meant, not perfectly I must say.
Any language is not perfect and people are not perfect in expressing themselves so there is a double strike against communication.
Going back with my answer. In communication the sender does try to be as clear with what he is saying and the receiver should ask for clarification.
In many cases the words are not as important as the body language, the context, the situation, etc. Maybe YOU do not have enough savy to pick up on those and other factors. That is why I said both.
Everytime you point the finger at someone, remember that three of your fingers are pointing back at you. So it may be a good idea where you may be contributing to the break in communcation. Take care.
Excellent question, and one I've pondered long and hard myself. It's hard for me to describe, but I'll try. I get frustrated and angry when someone misconstrues what I'm trying to tell them. But after the fact, I tell myself that they were entitled to their interpretation just as I'm entitled to feel aggrieved at being misunderstood. That is, I can feel justified at getting angry with someone who misunderstood me while still admitting that they did not misinterpret my words on purpose since there may have been a way to better express my stance.
I have an ongoing argument with my husband who does not have a great sense of words or how to use them.
His argument is that he knows what he means when he says something and the meaning I take away is my problem.
My argument is that if he wants to be understood he needs to take more care with the words he chooses and how he uses them.
Ultimately who do you think is responsible for the words one speaks....the speaker or the person being spoken to?
I find it interesting that you both blame each other. Being a good wife you ought to know that if you got the wrong understanding it has to be your fault. No man has ever made a mistake in his life. LOL
I think if you want someone to understand what you're saying, it's up to you (the speaker) to say it right, and in a way that whoever you're talking to, knows exactly what you mean.
My Dad was letter perfect when he talked about things, and even though he would know what I was talking about when I made a language misstep he still felt the need to correct me. He really liked it when I called the refrigerator an icebox. Since he had been born back when there was an iceman delivering blocks of ice, he was in his element. He would explain to me how the machines we use now are refrigerators because they "refrigerate" what we put in them, and the "ice box" was pretty well self explanatory. This would be the conversation every time I would forget, and slip with ice box instead of refrigerator. And each time he finished explaining he would tell me that it's ok, he knew what I meant. Now, my wife is channeling my Dad, and corrects me relentlessly. I can't win for losing. Know what I mean??
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