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Ok years ago had a woman, heavy Flirting to the point we masturbated each other. then one evening she invited me over with the intentions of having sex with me. Once I got there she started messing around and then changed her mind. Yes I was very upset with her, I left in a rage telling her I don't play Games!
After I was married I became friends with a woman. One night when we was drinking she cornered me and tried to kiss me. I left. Later she made trouble between me and my wife and with me and many in the community to the point we had to leave town.
My Mom was rapped twice once by her Father in Law who stabbed her. And one other time she had car trouble and three Guys kidnapped her, drove her over three counties, rapped her, beat her and throwed her naked in the ditch for dead on a cold Winter night.
Was at a party one night, there was a 16 year old girl there, she was drunk, said she was going to take a Guy and **** his brains out, later he was arrested.
Been on all sides of the coin on this and yes women can bring some of it on their self.
Can a woman put herself in a compromising position? Of course. But, if dressing provocatively is a realistic excuse for rape, then women or young girls should never go to the beach wearing bikinis or go to the gym wearing shorts. Rape is generally about power and dominance; not about sex. If a rapist can control himself on the beach in front of everyone, then why can't he control himself with a women alone on the beach? This suggests that the bikini or type of dress is not the main catalyst, but that the rapist seeks to dominate and express his will on someone who is defenseless and alone.
There is an old story, sort of King Solomon courts.
Let's say, it is King Solomon court day.
A woman shows up and says - man such and such raped me, great King, punish him.
King sends guards and they turn that man in. Man is asked - did you rape that woman?
Man responds - no, Your Majesty, we had consensual sex. She then asked me for a hefty gift, I refused, she said - I'll regret that refusal. Here I am now, falsly accused.
King asks the woman - did it go the way, he describes it? No, says woman, he raped me and is lying.
Approach me, says King.
He gives woman a thread, and then holds a needle, ear up, between his thumb and index fingers.
Woman, say King, thread that needle, and I'll punish your rapist.
Woman, laughing at this task and feeling quick victory approaching, moves thread into the needle ear. But, same moment, King twists needle ever so slightly between the fingers. And every time, woman will try to drive thread through the ear, he will do same, failing her every time.
She finally loses her patience and yells - King, will you please stop twisting that needle?
Woman, responds wise King, would you have not stayed still, no man in the world would have been able to rape you..
There is an old story, sort of King Solomon courts.
Let's say, it is King Solomon court day.
A woman shows up and says - man such and such raped me, great King, punish him.
King sends guards and they turn that man in. Man is asked - did you rape that woman?
Man responds - no, Your Majesty, we had consensual sex. She then asked me for a hefty gift, I refused, she said - I'll regret that refusal. Here I am now, falsly accused.
King asks the woman - did it go the way, he describes it? No, says woman, he raped me and is lying.
Approach me, says King.
He gives woman a thread, and then holds a needle, ear up, between his thumb and index fingers.
Woman, say King, thread that needle, and I'll punish your rapist.
Woman, laughing at this task and feeling quick victory approaching, moves thread into the needle ear. But, same moment, King twists needle ever so slightly between the fingers. And every time, woman will try to drive thread through the ear, he will do same, failing her every time.
She finally loses her patience and yells - King, will you please stop twisting that needle?
Woman, responds wise King, would you have not stayed still, no man in the world would have been able to rape you..
I rest my case.
So if someone holds a gun to a woman's head or a knife to her throat, beats her to unconsciousness, ties her up, or threatens to kill someone else (like her kids or spouse) if she doesn't cooperate it's not really rape because she doesn't physically resist?
I really, really hope you never stopped to think through the implications of your little allegory.
To use another analogy, home intrusion alarms and other technology like security lights and cameras are available and on the market.
If a homeowner chooses not to install security alarms or lights and a robber breaks in and burglarizes the home, is that home owner partly responsible?
It's in our popular vernacular to say that someone is "advertising" to criminals to be robbed if they don't take some precautions or use some self-defense or some common sense.
It's just our way of victim-blaming because we would like to believe that the victim was "partly responsible" and nothing like that would ever happen to us.
It's also our way of explaining to people how to best protect themselves from being the victim of a crime.
We should try to use words like "self-defense or security" instead of "responsibility" when discussing how best to defend or protect oneself from becoming a victim of a crime.
Yeah --- just like leaving your car windows all down, the key in the ignition in a high crime area. And not only that, you've made sure your car is super-flashy. Should someone steal your car if you leave the keys in the ignition and the windows down? Of course they should not. Should you leave your windows down and the keys in the ignition? Kind of a stupid thing to do.
I think a lot of women bring it on themselves, just like a lot of men bring assaults on themselves.
It doesn't make it right by any means, and it should still be punished just the same, but so many rapes are completely avoidable IMO. I've literally listened to woman talk about going down on a drunk guy in his 20's and them denying him sex as a form of teasing. It definitely doesn't warrant rape, but any woman that does this is dumb as rocks to think that it might not end well.
If a woman walks completely naked down the street, how many of you men are going to jump on her and rape her? No? Then you understand, rape is in the hands of the rapist. If you are fundamentally unable to keep it in your pants no matter the situation, then YOU have the problem.
An example: A straight guy goes into a mixed bar (gay-straight), wears tight pants and a tight shirt, has a few drinks, dances with some guys and then leaves. Another guy follows him back to his car, overpowers him, and rapes him. Is it the first guys fault? He dressed provocatively, drank, flirted. Or is it the fault of the person who chose to commit the act?
what people are failing to realize is that it takes a real special monster to "force" himself on a woman and have successful intercourse.
normal men would not be able to achieve an erection by beating a girl or holding her down with force. It's this very act that turns a rapist on. Not the actual sex but the assault is why they do it. The sick feeling of control and/or domination over a woman. normal men need the woman to be willing and to enjoy it mutually. So, forcing yourself on a woman who is kicking and screaming is probably the least common form of rape. Anything less than than forcing yourself on a woman might be a gray area and rightfully so.
I mean, if a woman is passed out then that too is obviously rape. Anytime it's against their will it's rape. However, there have been too many cases where a woman cries rape because she changes her mind after the fact. These are very dangerous women.
It's not real smart for a woman to assume all men are fully grown responsible adults who are morally good and decent.
It's similar to a dog attack. If you tease and provoke a vicious dog, you've possibly increased your chances of being bitten. If you jump into a fence where there is a vicious dog, you may increase your chances of being attacked.
So instead women should automatically have to assume EVERY man is a rapist douchebag? This isn't a video game where rapists walk around with flashing icons over their head like some quest NPC. Many rapists present themselves as responsible adults who are morally good and decent. They don't show their true colors until they have their victim in a vulnerable position.
Say you got dressed up in your nice clothes to go on a date and you happened across a guy with one arm in a sling carrying some groceries to his car. The guy says, "Hey, could you give me some help?" and you go over to give him a hand. Except he's just faking and clubs you over the head or pulls a gun on you and tells you to get in the car. Then he drives you out to some secluded location and rapes you.
That was exactly the MO Ted Bundy used on some of his victims, and I don't think men are any less vulnerable.
It's not real smart for a woman to assume all men are fully grown responsible adults who are morally good and decent.
It's similar to a dog attack. If you tease and provoke a vicious dog, you've possibly increased your chances of being bitten. If you jump into a fence where there is a vicious dog, you may increase your chances of being attacked.
Ok, we'll go with this. From now on women will just assume that all men are potential rapists and we must take the utmost protection of ourselves at all times, regardless of how any man may act.
Then you men are never, ever allowed to complain about how hard it is to get dates or show women what a nice guy you are. Because we have to protect ourselves from dogs who may turn vicious at any time. You never know. Because it would be foolish to assume that any grown man is a responsible adult who can control himself and not harm another human being.
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