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Ive heard several of my friends who are my age say the same thing. So it could be pretty common in my area to discriminate on age. Not sure.
I'm 30 and have always looked much younger than my age, and I have been consistently treated increasingly better in stores as time goes on, for the last decade or so, regardless of whether I dress up or down, hair, make-up, etc. I met my DH, who also has a "baby face", when I was 16 and he was 19, and I have witnessed this with him too. I was actually just saying that to him the other day. The difference between how we were treated in nice restaurants or stores when we were 19-20-21 compared to now is extremely noticeable. I remember going out to a little upscale place for Valentine's Day dinner when we were 20 and 23, but I guess looked more like we were in our late teens, and experiencing horribly snobby service, with the middle-aged waiters looking down their noses at us. Now, we are treated well and super respectfully wherever we go. I would walk into a luxury department store in my early 20s, professionally dressed, and the saleswomen would follow me around with a sneer. Nowadays they'll offer help and step back after I politely decline (pushy salespeople are one of my ultimate pet peeves). Oh, and once I had my son and had the stroller with me, I feel like that just added instant credibility right away, lol. It really bothered me though when people would assume I was just a kid with no money to spend and that gave them the licence to be rude.
Last edited by EvilCookie; 12-31-2013 at 01:29 AM..
And you really have no idea how much they had, you just saw four kids and instantly knew they must be from the low-income area and everything they did after that validated your assumption.
I've seen people with money act like absolute trash, and I've seen poor people with manners.
It was blatantly obvious that basing ones conclusion that said family was existing in a low socioeconomic strata was quite easy based on behaviors, not so much how they presented themselves.
Holding an advanced degree with years of sociological study and demographic delineation as my daily norm it has become quite easy to categorize subsections of society based upon what is perceived as being those peoples behavioral norms as they are compared to different socio economic classes.
I too have seen exceptions to the rule by both the nouveau riche as well as from multi generational welfare recipients, however it is reckless statistically to base isolated anecdotal experiences of behaviors purely upon exceptions to the rule of majority.
I was not truly offended by this families behavior unlike everyone else was, I was actually thrilled to have an opportunity to study the effects that their behavior had on those that expounded and displayed manners as the long established norm of the area that we were in.
Years ago we sold our home in Pa and moved to NC. We made a good profit on the house we sold so we had some money to burn for new furniture when we moved to the new home.
After getting settled in the wife and I and our two little boys went furniture shopping. I put $ 15,000 in my pocket when we went, but we were dressed a little shabby because we had been working in the new house all day. When we walked into the furniture store the employees looked down their noses at us because we weren't dressed up, and they continued to ignore us while we shopped.
Finally, a man came up and in a very disinterested tone said "Can I help you folks ?" I asked some questions about some items and you could tell he was thinking we were tire kickers by his attitude. After a while I said, ok, we will take that living room outfit, that dining room outfit, those lamps, those chairs, etc. etc. He said " And how will we be paying for that today?" at which point I pulled out the wad and said "CASH."
All of a sudden his demeanor changed and he said "Yes Sir, let me get that order written up for you !" Then he called on the phone to the guys in the back and said "Get some of those lazy bums off their tails and get up here to deliver some furniture for Mr and Mrs __________ !" A truck followed us back to our home with the furniture in it, and my wife and I laughed all the way about how much better you are treated when you have money !
Years ago we sold our home in Pa and moved to NC. We made a good profit on the house we sold so we had some money to burn for new furniture when we moved to the new home.
After getting settled in the wife and I and our two little boys went furniture shopping. I put $ 15,000 in my pocket when we went, but we were dressed a little shabby because we had been working in the new house all day. When we walked into the furniture store the employees looked down their noses at us because we weren't dressed up, and they continued to ignore us while we shopped.
Finally, a man came up and in a very disinterested tone said "Can I help you folks ?" I asked some questions about some items and you could tell he was thinking we were tire kickers by his attitude. After a while I said, ok, we will take that living room outfit, that dining room outfit, those lamps, those chairs, etc. etc. He said " And how will we be paying for that today?" at which point I pulled out the wad and said "CASH."
All of a sudden his demeanor changed and he said "Yes Sir, let me get that order written up for you !" Then he called on the phone to the guys in the back and said "Get some of those lazy bums off their tails and get up here to deliver some furniture for Mr and Mrs __________ !" A truck followed us back to our home with the furniture in it, and my wife and I laughed all the way about how much better you are treated when you have money !
Don
I wouldn't have done business with them.
When I was a teen, I was treated nicely everywhere but the Jag dealership. Mercedes, Ford, Lexus, everywhere else was great.
I will never spend a dime at that Jag dealership even today, 15 years later. I let them kiss my ass now and give me test drives, but like I told Marv - "Thanks for the test drive. I'll get the car from my guy."
Try going out dressed in a suit and dressed as a homeless person and watch the difference. When I wear my suit grocery shopping they will often see me coming and open another lane for me. That's stupid. I take it, because heaven knows I don't want to wait to check out, but my suit shouldn't be opening lanes.
I once was dealing with the police at an incident, and I had arrived to the scene dressed from a basketball game in a wife beater. I was immediately treated like the prime suspect. Thanks guys, I'm here to make your job easier. They judged the wife beater I was wearing instead of listening to the words coming out of my mouth. Note: Most cops are much brighter than these guys. I don't know how long they lasted with the force.
So my experience has certainly been that the assessment of how much wealth you have will change how people treat you. If you have money but wear homeless clothes, you'll be treated like a homeless person.
It's obvious to most people who work with the public that the better heeled patrons are the most capable of complainers, hence the man in the suit draws a little fear and hustle into the picture. I live on a golf course and many people think that connotes money, I feel that difference when I ask for bids on work around the house. My wife says she thinks that is unfair but I say it is just the appearance of having money that emboldens a lot of people when determining what they will charge you. When one is dressed up and speaks in a manner that would be consistent with what is expected of an educated per$on, oftentimes the attitude of those who serve you does change, not to mention the price...
When I was a teen, I was treated nicely everywhere but the Jag dealership. Mercedes, Ford, Lexus, everywhere else was great.
I will never spend a dime at that Jag dealership even today, 15 years later. I let them kiss my ass now and give me test drives, but like I told Marv - "Thanks for the test drive. I'll get the car from my guy."
I had the opposite experience with Bently...
Attend the San Francisco Car Show every Thanksgiving for years and one year I was looking at a new Bently Convertible... the person from behind the ropes said beautiful automobile and I said, yes it is.
He invited me back and I declined saying the Bently costs more than my home... didn't matter... would have thought I had cash in my pocket... spent about a half hour asking questions and checking out the car... he gave me a hardbound book to take with me knowing there wasn't a chance of making a sale...
Something similar happened the one and only time I took Mom new car shopping... VW, Toyota and Honda Dealers were high pressure... and flatly asked if we were buying and how we would be paying.
Mom didn't like the experience at all and on the way home I took her to BMW... they couldn't have been nicer... pointed out there were some nice places to eat in the area and suggested she drive the BMW home to see how it looked in the driveway... only request was to be back by 8 pm... the time they closed.
Another friend had a well to do Grandmother... she told her 19 year old Grandson to pick out a new car... he went to a number of Dealers... like Cadilac and Mercedes and could not get the time of day...
He stopped at Buick and drove a new car home... it was simply because the demeanor of the sales staff not treating him as a kid.
I've noticed the rich and people with money get treated better and have a better deal in life than the have not. I've witness this in nursing homes, restuarants, schools, churches, Hotels, stores, the police and the judiciary system. Have you noticed this too? Enlightened us. Share your stories and experience.
You don't necessarily need to have money, to be treated better, just appearing to have money helps.
It can also work against you, especially when it comes to job hunting. People can think that you don't need the money, and then assume that you're not going to be willing to work hard for it.
How can you tell if someone is rich? I think people who are attractive, tall and white tend to get treated better.
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