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Really? Because the woman that I babysit for has a son that she adopted. She said that they called her as soon as he was born and she got him that same day (free of charge). I thought that couples were adopting from outside the country because it's faster.
Aren't the prices for IVF and adopting an infant similar?
Who are "they?" The only people I know who were "easily" able to obtain a child are those who got children from family. My aunt's "daughter" is an adopted child from a distant cousin. The mother got pregnant and wasn't married (this was like 20 years ago) so the family arranged to have a family member adopt her.
In the case of a "regular" adoption it's much more expensive.
My friend is doing IVF and it's costing her $15,000, much cheaper than the $30,000 she was quoted when looking to adopt.
We have a right to choose to have our own children or adopt. I certainly am not going to look down upon someone who wants to go through treatment instead of adopt, both are hard and heartbreaking processes when they don't work out.
As the mother of 2 children whom we love dearly - NO - it is not wrong to use fertility treatments. We used IVF.
NO ONE can understand the pain and anguish of not being able to conceive naturally unless they have been there.
There is equal pain and anguish in going through the adoption process. Adoption is not an easy process. We tried that route but it did not work out for us - 2x internationally; 1 domestic. A road block each time. We personally know others who have been waiting for years to adopt and are still waiting. Like ART, adoption can be a crap shoot.
All too often, both ART and adoption are fraught with disappointment, emotional roller coaster rides and thousands and thousands of dollars spent.
Please do not ever think that any route to deliberately try to become parents is selfish.
If you want to label something as selfish, pass that one along to folks who hop in the sack without any thought to the consequences of their actions (unwanted pregnancies).
I used to think fertility treatment was selfish as well, until I lost my fertility due to cancer.
My insurance covers in part many fertility treatments. There is also a major charity that helps with fertility treatment for young adult cancer survivors. I could do it for far less money than it would cost to adopt. I'm 26 now and unmarried, so I do not expect to adopt for at least 10 years. I'm saving NOW for the 40K I expect to need in order to adopt. That is of course not budgeting in time out of work, potential health issues that the child may face, a larger home, etc.
Even when you save enough to be able to afford the fees associated with adoption, it can be years until a child is placed with you.
And I know I'm selfish. I would like to experience the baby phase with at least one child. I am open to fostering and adopting older children as well - my boyfriend grew up in foster care and its horrible to me that he couldn't find a home because he was older than 3. But I want to be the parent that hears my child's first word, watches the first step, and sees milestones at least once. I don't care if the child has my DNA or not - there are all kinds of ways to build a family and not all of them involve my genetics. I don't care if the child is a different race. I just want a baby once - and until you face infertility, you can't know what that's like.
Well, people will always have some opinions when it comes to when to seek infertility treatment and when to let nature take its course. I am not sure if seeking fertility treatments is right or wrong. I am not the one to judge.
I think if a couple wants to use fertility treatments and use these treatments responsibly, I don't think there should be any problems. But any type of obsession can be unhealthy, including wanting a kid.
Wanting a child to love, nurture, and raise, is NOT selfish. Wanting a child to love, nurture, and raise, that is of your own DNA and paying exorbitant amounts of money to make it happen, when you can adopt, is what is selfish. Don't mince my words please. There's a big difference between not accepting and loving an adopted child because they're not your DNA.
as an adult adoptee, I could not agree more.........
As the mother of 2 children whom we love dearly - NO - it is not wrong to use fertility treatments. We used IVF.
NO ONE can understand the pain and anguish of not being able to conceive naturally unless they have been there.
There is equal pain and anguish in going through the adoption process. Adoption is not an easy process. We tried that route but it did not work out for us - 2x internationally; 1 domestic. A road block each time. We personally know others who have been waiting for years to adopt and are still waiting. Like ART, adoption can be a crap shoot.
All too often, both ART and adoption are fraught with disappointment, emotional roller coaster rides and thousands and thousands of dollars spent.
Please do not ever think that any route to deliberately try to become parents is selfish.
If you want to label something as selfish, pass that one along to folks who hop in the sack without any thought to the consequences of their actions (unwanted pregnancies).
I am happy for you, that modern medicine was able to facilitate you to have a family
I agree, anyone who is willing to undergo the steps for IVF or other assisted pregnancy options truly does want a child /family. It is not selfish, it's natural.
There has been no evidence presented to prove the assertion that assisted pregnancies are driving up birth rates, until that is - this is merely a few peoples opinions.
If two people can't naturally have a baby, I think that should be seen as a sign. I don't believe in god but I think we shouldn't spend $$$$ on all these fertility treatments when there are so many poor children on earth who would love to get adopted.
I find it very selfish to want to have the own child NO MATTER WHAT. No matter if you get cancer or whatever else all these procedures can cause. If somebody cannot naturally have a baby, there is a reason for it, I strongly believe in that.
This thread is struggling to stay within the standards of the Great Debates forum. It is being closed until it can be moved to a more appropriate forum.
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