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I offer my seat to the elderly and to pregnant women. I'm usually the only one to do so. I offer it to anyone who looks like they need a rest: a single mom with a small child, for example, or someone carrying a package.
Most guys I know are terrified of mistaking a women who's just otherwise fat for being pregnant that they'll dare not to offer. In one sit com, not only did the person turn out to be not pregnant, but that person was also actually a man!
There can also be a concern for double standards... if you offer a lady a seat, she'll get offended due to reasons of feminism, self sufficiency, or otherwise you being sexist (even though some acts of chivalry seem to go against this )
In earlier times, men riding on crowded buses, trains, etc. were expected to give up their seats to ladies. A man who was seated while ladies were standing would be considered ill-mannered and not a proper gentlemen. And I would imagine that a woman who refused the offer would be considered brash and not a proper lady.
But social norms change, and certainly gender roles in the U.S. have undergone significant changes in recent times. So now we have the situation where some men will remain seated, unashamed, while the women standing over them glower at them in sullen annoyance. Meanwhile, elsewhere on the vehicle, a man will rise to offer his seat, only to find that the woman standing nearby refuses to take it.
So what do you feel is the proper etiquette? I'm not talking about offering seats to the elderly, or handicapped, or pregnant women, or someone burdened with packages. What I'm asking is, should an able-bodied, unencumbered man offer his seat to an able-bodied, unencumbered woman? And if so, should she take it?
It USED to be that way. BUt now, were I "able-bodied", NO, I would not give up my seat, many are offended, many play it "first come, first seated", and all expect to get 'what they get'... BUT I WOULD ASK if they wanted my seat.
Now, My situation: I am a handicapped male who gets around with a cane: I have a very bad back, a torn labral hip issue, and a severely arthritic knee, and standing in one place {such as on a bus} is very hard on me. Walking/moving is actually easier for me, but not by much.
Now, IF I see a handicapped parking space farther away from the door, I MAY take IT, as I think I can walk better than some bent-over little old lady{who simply may be old with no issues}.
I would do the same on the bus, ASK the bent over little old lady if she WANTED my seat, If she says yes, I'd give it up, if she says No, I won't then.
There is an elderly lady 2 doors down and if I see her out coming to/from the mailboxes, I tip my hat, she always blushes, and turns away, shaking her head, but with a smile on her face.
I'd gladly give up my seat to an elderly woman OR a MAN. Why just women? Other than that, forget it. Women wanted equality and demanded privileges, so now they can live with it.
Absolutely not. If I'm sitting, it means I'm tired or otherwise not in the greatest condition. There's no reason I would give up my seat to anyone except the disabled and those looking in worse physical shape than me, male OR female.
It looks to me like most of these men who do not offer their seat to a lady are yankees, city boys or both. When men open doors for me I can see them flinch in case I am offended but I thank them sweetly and graciously. I hold doors for men, too. Why drop it to slam in their face? Let chivalry and consideration not be dead.
A lot of people are just assuming most people are able-bodied if they don't have an obvious handicap.
There are those of us who are only thirty, look completely healthy/mobile and yet there are some days the joints hurt so much you just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I would hope if I asked someone for a seat, they wouldn't just make assumptions about me.
When men offer me their seats I'm so happy that there still are gentlemen, that I always accept and thank them, even when I'm not tired at all. I believe that when they are doing this, it shows a good soul that is able to give, not only take, so I want them to know that their ability to be generous is appreciated. I love chivalry, and I love when women show that they are women, not just a sexless "human being," "community member," "worker," etc. I strongly dislike words like "partner," "significant other," "spouse," that hide gender. We are who we are because of gender difference, and hiding it looks simply idiotic to me. However, I understand that there are other opinions on this subject as well.
I would for an elderly person, pregnant woman, someone on crutches or someone who has kids with them and for a girlfriend/partner aswell.
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