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I'm surprised how many say there is nothing wrong with making a judgment on a person's appearance and stating it to a stranger. (I assume the OP meant to a stranger; if it is an acquaintance/friend that's fine).
I assume you all know that women are judged by their appearance every minute of their life and have things to accomplish but at the same time are expected to be displayed for men to judge and comment on.
Some women like it. Many do not. I'm annoyed men believe they have the right to comment on stranger's looks, good or bad, and we are to accept it because we have a vagina.
I'm sure we all have examples, but here's mine: In my younger years I had beautiful hair and was constantly complimented on it, by men and women. I was working as a transplant coordinator and was running to the roof to pick up an organ for the transplant team. Some guy chased me down saying Miss! Miss! and wouldn't give up. I finally stopped and glared and asked how I could help him (a requirement as a hospital employee). He says "You have really beautiful hair. Is it natural? Does your bf know he's lucky? " My bf is not lucky because I have nice hair btw, he's lucky because I'm good to him, loyal, etc...
All worked out with the transplant but seriously, I clearly had a place to be of importance but please, don't let me get in the way of your RIGHT to make a judgment and comment on my appearance.
I had forgotten all about that until now.
Do tall guys liked being told 20 times a day "Hey, you're tall!" or "How's the weather up there?" From age 14 until death? Do you want to go to class, run errands, visit your parents, go on job interviews etc and being told during all activities every day what a stranger's judgment on your looks is in their opinion? Do guys seriously think that's fun?
For some women its not an odd occasion and happens quite frequently (im only talking about the comments from strangers though)
So what?
As long as it's just a polite comment, and not a rude or disrespectful one, why not be appreciative that someone thinks you're attractive, and keep on going?
There's enough unpleasantness in life that if some stranger wants to pay me a compliment, I'll see it as a ray of sunshine, rather than something to get offended about.
I've seen girls of all ages (baby to adult) that were pretty
But I get the sense that in our society is almost a crime for a man to say that a girl is pretty
To clarify, when I say pretty, for me usually means that she has a pretty smile.
You clearly feel that these comments are innocent, and that you mean no harm by it, but just don't.
First off, there is no such thing as an adult girl. An adult female is a woman. Calling her a juvenile trivializes her and frames her as being less than a man, including less worthy of the respect and serious treatment that adults in our society are entitled to.
Second, even for someone you know, adult or child, you should be careful about commenting on her looks. Especially for girls up through teenagers, they live in a society that is constantly judging them based on their looks rather than on their intelligence, hard work, personal integrity, or many other much more important qualities. Commenting on their looks reinforces this. As they grow up, girls should not be subjected to the message that what is important about them is their looks, whether the judgment that you are giving them is a favorable or unfavorable one.
Finally, with regard to people you don't know, just don't do it. Since when are you in a position where your judgment of their physical attractiveness should be at all meaningful or relevant to them. Doing it sets yourself up as their superior, as someone entitled to tell them whether you approve or disapprove of them based on their appearance.
Women live in a society in which their accomplishments are constantly denigrated and in which they must struggle to be recognized for anything other than their looks. Don't contribute to this world view.
As long as it's just a polite comment, and not a rude or disrespectful one, why not be appreciative that someone thinks you're attractive, and keep on going?
There's enough unpleasantness in life that if some stranger wants to pay me a compliment, I'll see it as a ray of sunshine, rather than something to get offended about.
it's hard to explain. it really is. and i can totally understand someone not understanding. but as magpiehere (and other posters) have said, it's just the feeling of having your looks being commented on when you aren't asking the person for their opinion. there's something about it that is just not okay.
there is the "big picture" aspect of it too. women feel they are judged on their looks ALL THE TIME. of course a comment here or there is not a big deal, but you when you look at the picture and feel like you are being judged constantly on your level of attractiveness and then to have random strange men make comments about being pretty or being told to smile? i don't know, it's just not okay with me. and i'm sure tons of women ARE okay with it, and that's totally fine too. but i personally don't like it.
it also kind of assumes that "pretty" women only walk around waiting for compliments. and they are "pretty" for you (men), which is not the case.
it's just like how some men think a woman who is wearing a revealing outfit is doing so simply because of men. so she can get attention from men. when in reality, there could be numerous reasons she decided to wear something revealing which may have absolutely nothing to do with men.
Does it really matter why it's not appreciated. The fact remains that some women seem to like it while others don't for a variety of reasons.
Just reading this thread: To some women, it boarders on catcall. To other women it's demeaning (like the hospital worker above who was rushing to save a life and was stopped by man to compliment her looks when she's trying to do her job), to some it's "creepy" (teen aged girls especially think it's creepy when men as old as their fathers or older make compliments), to younger girls who are taught "stranger danger" in school it scares them. And of course, some women like the comments... but how do you know who is who?
So the best thing to do is be polite and don't make random comments to strangers that might offend them. Save comments like that for the women you know appreciate them. If you feel the need to engage a woman you don't know in conversation, be neutral and don't talk to her any differently than you would a man/AKA don't start pointing out how her body, face, or whatever is appealing to you.
What should I do when a woman tells me "You are such a handsome guy!"
Should I also tell her to f.... off?
Is that what women are telling you?
The OP has yet to provide any context - as has been mentioned numerous times. A woman with whom he is romantically involved - it would most likely be accepted as a compliment; a woman at work, or someone he doesn't know not so much.
OP - context matters. You didn't provide any information your OP. Without that your comment is too broad to really comment on. What is your point?
I was just thinking - how great it would be for men to walk around daily with their penis out and we wimmins make comments on its size all. day. long. That's all we look at, unwanted or not, we look too long, size up, then comment to their face, good or bad. All. day. long. We don't judge them on anything else, just penis size. I mean, it's our right to judge and give compliments right?
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