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But, they are correct. If everyone was like you that would be the end of humans. Children are extremely important in all societies and obviously you cannot see it.
In any event evolution works by selecting the genes of those that have paternal or maternal instincts. That is why most people like children.
Putting down children may be seen as offensive. If I were you I would not say anything.
I don't like children, either, as a rule. But there are exceptions.
Having to like children is a modern concept. In the old days, children were expected to be seen and not heard. That's because of their behavior and inability to interact with adults on a mature level...because they're kids. Children can be loud, full of energy, say unintentionally rude things, interrupt adult conversation, cry, rant, have temper tantrums, and all sorts of natural child behavior that some adults don't like.
They kick the back of my seat on airlines, run through the aisles at the big box stores, cry in the cashier line at the grocery store because they want something they saw, talk loudly, etc. They can be irritating. Their parents seem oblivious to their little darlings' bad behavior. There are exceptions, though. Some kids are well behaved.
But if you wait some years, they will grow out of being children. So that's good.
Because it is nasty. Because it expresses a value judgment that is irrational. Because it is a typical cowardly passive-aggressive way of stating that you don't like the values of the other person, or anyone else for that matter, who probably does like kids. Because it's sourpussed and bitter and unhappy and malcontented and curmudgeonly and trailer-park trashy and just plain rude and low class. It's something you'd expect from a string-haired beak-nosed socially crippled broken down biddy seen talking to herself after being ejected from some godforsaken Walmart in Dubuque.
I would even say that disliking kids is a displaced form of self-hatred. If one dislikes kids, what are they really disliking Young human beings who have not fully developed? No. It is the innocence and eagerness that they represent. Features that are completely gone from kid-unfriendly people. Kids shine a mirror of loss in such people, and the reflection generates vitriol. The reminder of what has been lost is what is resented, not the kid per se.
This is a fascinating topic, because the truths that underpin it are not immediately obvious. But there they lurk, beneath the surface, and it may be quite uncomfortable for some people to entertain considering the real cause of their negativity towards children, or dogs, or any other innocent and undamaged creatures.
Mr. Paolella, I'd be willing to guess you've never spent all that much time around children even if you have quite a few. You've made it eminently clear in a significant number of other posts here on C-D that you consider the hands-on care of children, as well as the hands-on care of the elderly, to be women's work.
No doubt it's easy to adore kids and old people when you're not the one changing their diapers, dealing with their tantrums, spoon-feeding them, entertaining them, trying to get them to sleep an appropriate number of hours, etc., etc.
I spent my young adulthood working as a nanny. I've spent the last ten years of my life taking care of my now 90-year-old mother who is disabled. Walk a mile in my moccasins and then we'll talk about my "self-hatred" and what I have learned about myself serving the "innocent and undamaged."
Mr. Paolella, I'd be willing to guess you've never spent all that much time around children even if you have quite a few. You've made it eminently clear in a significant number of other posts here on C-D that you consider the hands-on care of children, as well as the hands-on care of the elderly, to be women's work.
No doubt it's easy to adore kids and old people when you're not the one changing their diapers, dealing with their tantrums, spoon-feeding them, entertaining them, trying to get them to sleep an appropriate number of hours, etc., etc.
I spent my young adulthood working as a nanny. I've spent the last ten years of my life taking care of my now 90-year-old mother who is disabled. Walk a mile in my moccasins and then we'll talk about my "self-hatred" and what I have learned about myself serving the "innocent and undamaged."
I didn't say elder care was "women's work", I said women are generally better at it than men, which is why we often see women in families assuming those responsibilities. As for your mother, the decision to provide nanny care is a choice. So don't play the martyr card. You could make a different choice. I think it is traitorous for an older parent to foist themselves upon their children when they become dependent and sick. They have no right to do that, and kids are under no obligation to provide nanny care for their sick parents. AND, it is NOT evil to decide to not provide such care, AND, it is not virtue to assume the unwanted responsibility for that care, AND, it does not make one a good person to choose to give that care, AND, it does not make one a bad person for deciding not to give it. There are institutions for that, and people should plan for that time long before reaching it. And truth be told, once age renders disability, we should have the option to swallow the blue pill and remove ourselves from the bleak picture of a long slow death. We are not born into duty or bondage to our parents, and parents who expect that are actually evil.
But such is life in my topsy turvy world where children are to be dealt with as individuals and slavery is not allowed.
This is more of a general observation, not targeted at you personally. I am really probably reacting to people in my life who have said they hate kids. They are never happy or fulfilled people in my experience, in fact, quite the polar opposite.
Interesting, because some of the most horribly miserable people I know are parents of out-of-control children; I SMH and wonder why they thought they just *had* to procreate...
WIC eligibility is categorically based on the woman's status of being either pregnant, nursing or having a young child under 5 years of age. If you can maintain that status + other eligibility requirements you will receive WIC.
That said, I doubt WIC is so awesome that people would continue having kids just to remain on it. The better example would be social programs in, say, the UK where having multiple children is directly linked to an exponential increase in welfare and housing benefits. There, the correlation between the rise of single, young mothers (who are categorically eligible for free housing) and associated benefits can be a more pronounced incentive.
Exactly, and thank you. At any rate, the "selfish" reasons to procreate are myriad -- not least of which is wanting to perpetuate your own DNA for posterity and create a mini-me; in the worst cases, the child is objectified and becomes a fashion accessory or, through his athletic or academic achievements, a vicarious trophy. How narcissistic can you get?
You may not get more actual money in a check, but with each new baby, you are allowed to remain on Welfare (receiving not just a check, but also all the attendant benefits -- free housing, medical care, transportation, utilities, food, etc. -- longer. Of course, you can remain on Welfare WITHOUT children, but you get more per household member.
I can't believe anyone would actually be financially better off, after running ALL the numbers, by having more children under this scheme. Children are extremely expensive. If you could provide a realistic run of the numbers to show otherwise, I'd appreciate it.
Also, your description - "free housing, medical care, transportation, utilities, food, etc." - is highly inaccurate in regards to the US welfare system.
But it's okay for someone to say they dislike or even hate children. I've never understood this.
Kids often are annoying, and what's worse is that sometimes parents just let their kids run around wreaking havoc without telling them to behave, etc. Not everyone is cut out to tolerate kids. That being said, you can't compare a dislike of kids to a dislike of other races or a dislike of gays. Usually the latter two involves genuine hatred.
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