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If a person says they don't like a person of a certain race, he/she is a racist.
You don't like gays, you're a homophobe.
You don't like men or women, you're sexist.
But it's okay for someone to say they dislike or even hate children. I've never understood this.
Because children have no power, money or political influence.
Interesting theory, but... No. I'm personally very thankful to have been raised RIGHT and to have become a mature, responsible adult as a result. We're not bitter; really! We just. don't. like them.
It's not about bitterness. It's about a cognitive dissonance from having an "unpleasant" childhood yourself and seeing it become "paradise" for today's kids. That cognitive dissonance can manifest itself as hate. And right you are: some level of difficulty while growing up builds character. Up to a certain point; beyond that, it can break you. By contrast, many of today's children, who are catered to like Egyptian pharaohs, never fully develop character, because they simply don't have to.
Oh, and I'm one of those childfree people. I'm polite to individual kids if I have to interact with them somehow, like when getting past a group of them in a store. I just firmly say: "Excuse me, guys, I gotta get past." But I generally prefer not to be around them for the most part. They're often chaotic and unpredictable, not to mention they tend to SHRIEK at random in the middle of restaurants. I've had decent conversations with high school-age kids on a few occasions, though. Usually about work, classes, and ethnic food.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 07-08-2016 at 10:52 AM..
The point I was making is that fifty years ago the norm was that "while I may not agree with what you are saying, I will defend your right to say it." Bosses and everyone else were more tolerant of free speech back then. I know that because I am 70 years old.
Unless it was you telling a customer to shop at a competing business. Or that you said your company's products stink. Or you were saying the boss's wife chews like a cow. Or you told your co-worker to f----off. Or you said you loved Hitler. Pretty much getting fired for most of those, even back in your day.
Because it is nasty. Because it expresses a value judgment that is irrational. Because it is a typical cowardly passive-aggressive way of stating that you don't like the values of the other person, or anyone else for that matter, who probably does like kids. Because it's sourpussed and bitter and unhappy and malcontented and curmudgeonly and trailer-park trashy and just plain rude and low class. It's something you'd expect from a string-haired beak-nosed socially crippled broken down biddy seen talking to herself after being ejected from some godforsaken Walmart in Dubuque.
I would even say that disliking kids is a displaced form of self-hatred. If one dislikes kids, what are they really disliking Young human beings who have not fully developed? No. It is the innocence and eagerness that they represent. Features that are completely gone from kid-unfriendly people. Kids shine a mirror of loss in such people, and the reflection generates vitriol. The reminder of what has been lost is what is resented, not the kid per se.
This is a fascinating topic, because the truths that underpin it are not immediately obvious. But there they lurk, beneath the surface, and it may be quite uncomfortable for some people to entertain considering the real cause of their negativity towards children, or dogs, or any other innocent and undamaged creatures.
Or maybe it's because they just don't like kids. Why does this get under your skin so much that you have to throw around these pejorative terms? Let's see I'm ...cowardly, passive-aggressive, sourpuss, bitter, irrational, unhappy, malcontented and curmudgeonly, trailer park trashy, rude and low class because I have an opinion that you don't share? That is some serious accusations about someone you have never even met.
Pray tell what truths underlie not liking children? I never even liked children when I was one! I've lived my life amongst adults as much as possible because I found most children to be the product of poor parenting, then, and now. Your over the top reaction to a simple statement of dislike belies some horrible truth lurking beneath the surface! What deep-seated pain has you calling people names because their emotions do not mirror yours? Maybe it's uncomfortable for you to consider the source of your negativity towards the childless and their right to speak of their own reasons for their actions? ( How do you like the same armchair diagnosis that you give others?)
Last edited by TheShadow; 07-08-2016 at 11:42 AM..
We are not born into duty or bondage to our parents, and parents who expect that are actually evil.
Not true! You don't have to dedicate your life to taking care of an elderly and/or disabled parent, but it's your moral duty to spend time with them, in person or otherwise, and make their declining years as pleasant as possible with the benefit of your company. They can still be in an elderly care institution if caring for them is impossibly difficult. You just can't "set it and forget it". Otherwise, it may be easier now, but once they're gone, your guilty conscience will catch up with you.
All this can be done with surprisingly little things:
* Read them a book.
* Cook and bring a dish that they taught you to make, so they see their teachings paying off.
* Tell them a fun story from your weekend, "sanitized" to protect their peace of mind, of course.
* Call them and sincerely ask about their day.
* Talk to them on their level without talking down to them, so they feel respected.
* Take them for a walk in a scenic area.
* Play cards, chess, or checkers with them.
* Accept their invitations to do whatever. (♪ "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon..." ♪)
Maybe it's because I'm childfree, but I have a lot more patience for elderly persons than for children.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 07-08-2016 at 12:04 PM..
Because children aren't a minority group? Or because being a child is only a temporary situation, unlike one's race or ethnicity.
And is it really "socially acceptable" to not like kids? It depends on who you're saying it to -- a parent won't think it's acceptable at all (or, at least most won't).
Just because you have kids of your own doesn't imply that you have to like, or be interested in, all kids, or kids in general. That was one of the most valuable pieces of advice I received when I was pregnant. Of course, it likely also contributes to the child-centric culture we have today, but I don't think not being gung-ho about kids is some new concept - being expected to *love* kids is a fairly recent historical development.
Btw, to the earlier poster who asked why so many people actually have kids... I've read numerous times that about half of all pregnancies are unplanned. That's certainly true among the people I know, from all walks of life.
I agree that kids can be fun and entertaining, but yeah, let's not kid ourselves about their virtue. I get really excited whenever my toddler demonstrates some measure of kindness or generosity, likely because it's a break from the constant "I want I want I want." And for those about to attack my parenting skills... they are ridiculously persistent. A hundred "no's" do not deter them from continuing to make demands. It's just how it is.
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