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I understand that nowadays obituaries are paid for by the surviving family so there is one reason.
This is the reason- it is now up to the writer of the obit. We're seeing some very odd obits nowadays and probably many that will genealogically insignificant- who knows that what's written is remotely true?
Yeah, I was going to mention this, if no one else did. If the writer wanted to pay for it, they probably could've had a whole page obituary if they wanted.
Others go for the very very bare minimum.
When my ex DIL's mother died, her obituary, written by her 3 children, merely had the woman's full name, date of birth, and date of death.
I thought that was chintzy as hell, but not surprising.
Probably for the same reason no one ever "dies". They "pass away", " go to meet their maker", etc .
"Passed" was ghetto-speak back in the day when I worked in the ghetto. No one ever said "passed" except our welfare clients and new caseworkers would be confused when a client would call and say that someone "passed". Now, everyone says it.
Out of curiosity, how long ago was that? I've been hearing ti all my life and I'm 30. I remember my Grandparents using the term.
That's interesting. I remember a comment (maybe on C-D) where you could tell a lot from an obituary about their social class:
Lower Class: "Bobby Lee Fulton was called home by Jesus on Friday evening. Services will be held at Pullman Church of the Living Word."
Middle Class: "Bob Fulton passed away on Friday. A Celebration of life will be held at XYZ."
Upper Class: "Robert L Fulton died Friday. Services will be held on Tuesday at First Presbyterian."
And they will usually be right.....or booze....or a car accident.....
"People" should know what the family wants them to know.
Reginald Vanderbilt (we happen to own a condo on his old property somewhere) died at 42 because his insides basically melted from too much booze. No mention in the obit. Anyone who knew him knew why h died.
If your interest is in general mortality at different ages, look it up. Everyone knows a lot of middle aged folks are dying from booze and opiates.
If, on the other hand, a young person dies from a known disease...it is often able to be guessed at by where an obit may mention to send donations.
Lots of people dying from suicide. Many times suicides are slow....from booze, pills, opiates, etc.
Obits are not the place for those things....that's the county coroner or death records which you often can check out if you are interested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr
Hmm...those are your only two options for death in those age ranges?
What about murder, suicide, accidental drowning, mauled by a wild animal, burned in a fire, car accident, choked on a pickle?
There are thousands of ways to die that are neither drug overdose or "natural causes".
The fact remains, if your 28 year old son, for example, died of a heart condition and you don't feel cause of death should be published, IMO, the least you could do for your son's reputation is list his death as "natural causes" rather than having some people think he must have died of a drug overdose, suicide, etc., because of his age.
Like it or not, human nature being what it is, some people will assume he must have died of a drug overdose, will spread that around as fact and the next thing you know, some long lost friends who hear it will think he did, in fact, die of a drug overdose.
If that doesn't bother you, don't say anything at all about the cause of death, no skin off my nose.
The fact remains, if your 28 year old son, for example, died of a heart condition and you don't feel cause of death should be published, IMO, the least you could do for your son's reputation is list his death as "natural causes" rather than having some people think he must have died of a drug overdose, suicide, etc., because of his age.
Like it or not, human nature being what it is, some people will assume he must have died of a drug overdose, will spread that around as fact and the next thing you know, some long lost friends who hear it will think he did, in fact, die of a drug overdose.
If that doesn't bother you, don't say anything at all about the cause of death, no skin off my nose.
Personally, I think, when people are dealing with their grief, and how they want to handle their mourning, they're not that concerned about what you, a completely stranger, wants to think about it. You, being a complete stranger, have no relevance to the person who died, or to the people the deceased left behind. Think what you will.
Personally, I think, when people are dealing with their grief, and how they want to handle their mourning, they're not that concerned about what you, a completely stranger, wants to think about it. You, being a complete stranger, have no relevance to the person who died, or to the people the deceased left behind. Think what you will.
Long lost friends could also get the wrong idea, along with school, work, neighborhood acquaintances.
And, if the family does not care what people at large think, why have an obituary at all?.....often touting the deceased's accomplishments?
An obituary in not required by law.
Or, keep it short and to the point. So and so died, list the time and place of the funeral, if any, and leave it at that.
If you don't care what people think, by all means, do as you please, as a complete stranger, I don't care what people think about your deceased loved one.
In fact, I very rarely read the full obituary of someone if I don't know them or one of their relatives in some way.
To me, adding a simple line like "natural causes" to protect my loved one's reputation is worth it.
I was just giving a friendly heads up, as in, something people might want to consider, THAT IS ALL.
I think it was about 8 months to a year after that where a trial was held for the Godfrey guy.. And I did find he was acquitted.. Again, don't remember the exact language, but.. It was along the lines of 'crime of passion'
That's interesting. I remember a comment (maybe on C-D) where you could tell a lot from an obituary about their social class:
Lower Class: "Bobby Lee Fulton was called home by Jesus on Friday evening. Services will be held at Pullman Church of the Living Word."
Middle Class: "Bob Fulton passed away on Friday. A Celebration of life will be held at XYZ."
Upper Class: "Robert L Fulton died Friday. Services will be held on Tuesday at First Presbyterian."
That's a very interesting observation. There may be some truth to this. Along with the social class cues, I can see the example for "Lower class" (and to make it clear- that's talking about socioeconomics, not their worth as a person) also applying for rural people versus the middle and upper class examples applying to suburban and urban cultures.
While I think people should do things as they wish, I have known people whose decisions in regard to obituary, funeral, flowers, etc were governed by "what people will think".
In my area, when someone dies of a drug overdose it is more often than not mentioned in the obituary. I think it is the family's way of drawing attention to how widespread the drug problem is.
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