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Thanks for writing! I'm glad you're happy in OK today!! I plan to move to a small town in Kansas near my relatives before long.
Have the people in your new area been friendly to you? Did you feel accepted right away? Have you made many new friends since you've moved there?
I agree with all you wrote. I've always questioned my motives for moving to a new place....It is easy to bring all of our "old stuff" with us if we're not careful. (And I'm not just talking about physical "stuff!") Thanks again for writing. CK
I've visited a few small towns in Kansas and even considered the state until we got to weather. But its a whole different world than anything you find in socal. Good luck and hope you find a great new home.
I have a transpertation problem here (no car) and don't go too many places, but overall have always felt welcomed by the people I met. I don't come on like someone out to remake the place so I'm sure that is part of it but am blown away by the friendlyness of the people here.
I think the secret of leaving the baggage behind is aiming your expectations at something new, and expecting it to be different. And just plain being yourself. You don't have to "fit in" to be yourself. Just don't toss our negativity about the people who came before.
I read in the state forums about the people who leave and go back home and suspect they are the ones who couldn't let go. Thing is, even home changes so you can't go back to the same place you left.
small town people should be more receptive to transplants from large cities and embrace their ideas more. But they are afraid that they will fall on their face if they try something new. Some times they can be so behind the times that they will suggest an Idea that has been around for years and call it cutting edge and progressive.
I remember about 15 years ago I suggested to a property owner that he should open a coffee shop in one of his vacant buildings in a small town. He thought it would an odd thing to do but he tried it but only half a$$ed , it struggled for years and finally closed. Three or four other people opened half a$$ coffee shops they struggle and closed too . I am sure they thought oh well , this isn't the big city, But now there is a Starbucks here doing great
I think people over romanticized small town Kansas Life. My Idea of the perfect small town is like when I stay in Nyack when I have to be in NY,or Gilroy when in San Jose,Victorville when in LA , and Aurora when in Chicago, Although I have live in this small town along time ,I have traveled extensively. When people are having a problem with some thing and I say when I was in San Bernardino they did this...., The response is always "oh we couldn't do that here"
I am having trouble posting a lot on the forum right now because I'm working on a big project that takes up most of my time. But, I sure enjoy your posts...and all of the other posts when I do have a chance to "come back!!"
Do you live in town...or far from town? I'm glad that people in your new community have been friendly to you.
I'm definitely excited about living a very different type of life when I get to Kansas. It helps that I have relatives there. My cousin (from Kansas) and I became super-super close right after my Dad passed away in 1999. She sent me a sympathy card in the mail and a sweet note and we have been best friends ever since. (Like sisters!)
Even though she grew up in the country, and I grew up in cities in CA...we have a lot in common. We share the same basic value systems. My cousin is really smart...She's in interested in learning more about other cultures, and I've always been this way myself. Most of the time, she is a bit shocked about life out here in the West because she grew up with neighbors "doing for each other" in Kansas, and far more "goodwill" and "unity."
I agree with you...people can be faced with surprises if they try to move back home. (Expecting "home" to be the "exact same way" that they "left it!")
Thanks for all you wrote and more soon. (When I have more time to "stay online.") We just learned that my husband has "stage 4" cancer and I am taking him around for treatment, and devoting a lot of attention to him right now too. (Along with other things that are "pressing" in my life.) Thanks again, CK
Thanks for writing....It's sad that the small town near you plans to level an ancient Native American mound in order to build a new Wal Mart!! YUK! Don't any of the Native American tribes in the area have any say about it?
I've watched "snow-jobs" take place in small towns that are being targeted and ear-marked for development. (In Southern CA, Arizona and elsewhere.) The mayor, city council, and all of realtors and developers in the area try hard to sell locals on "what they will be gaining" from the "expansion." Of course, everyone doesn't want rapid growth in their town. Some do speak out, but others are far too apathetic and passive...when it comes to "standing up to city hall." And people who do voice their protests at town meetings often get intimidated and ridiculed. (I've seen this happen far too many times!!)
When home prices climb up, some locals are happy to sell their houses for a higher profit, this is true. But others just want to "flee the area" and "get out" before they are "packed together like sardines" with all of the newcomers who move into their town from other places. They have been through all of this before...in many other towns and they see the "writing on the wall" when their city officials start pushing hard for rapid-growth.
Once an area gets ear-marked and targeted for development, there is usually no "turning back." It's just a matter of time before the culture shifts and changes....And, "old-timers" get "put out of pasture"...and labeled "kooks" and "hicks" just because they don't want their town to become a "clone" and "carbon-copy" of every other town. (With shopping centers on every corner, "big-box" stores of every kind...and "fast-food" chain outlets and restaurants that "spring up" all over the place...Along with cookie-cutter" tract homes that "hog up" every "inch" of open-space forever more.)
Please write more and I will too, when I can. Right now, I'm not on-line all the time. Thanks, CK
Thanks for writing....It's sad that the small town near you plans to level an ancient Native American mound in order to build a new Wal Mart!! YUK! Don't any of the Native American tribes in the area have any say about it?
CK,
I have a lot of respect for your tone on this forum. I think we have a lot of different ideals, but the mode of communication you maintain is very high-minded.
As for the mound, there aren't a lot of tribes around here anymore. It's not in a reservation. Most tribes were driven out in the Trail of Tears, and we don't have a lot of the richer ones here. THere is actually a negative reaction, so I can see them backing out eventually, but it doesn't look like it. I think the local town doesn't care so much. Alabama politics are pretty messed up (not that my native Cali is a ton better, just different).
I am having trouble posting a lot on the forum right now because I'm working on a big project that takes up most of my time. But, I sure enjoy your posts...and all of the other posts when I do have a chance to "come back!!"
Do you live in town...or far from town? I'm glad that people in your new community have been friendly to you.
I'm definitely excited about living a very different type of life when I get to Kansas. It helps that I have relatives there. My cousin (from Kansas) and I became super-super close right after my Dad passed away in 1999. She sent me a sympathy card in the mail and a sweet note and we have been best friends ever since. (Like sisters!)
Even though she grew up in the country, and I grew up in cities in CA...we have a lot in common. We share the same basic value systems. My cousin is really smart...She's in interested in learning more about other cultures, and I've always been this way myself. Most of the time, she is a bit shocked about life out here in the West because she grew up with neighbors "doing for each other" in Kansas, and far more "goodwill" and "unity."
I agree with you...people can be faced with surprises if they try to move back home. (Expecting "home" to be the "exact same way" that they "left it!")
Thanks for all you wrote and more soon. (When I have more time to "stay online.") We just learned that my husband has "stage 4" cancer and I am taking him around for treatment, and devoting a lot of attention to him right now too. (Along with other things that are "pressing" in my life.) Thanks again, CK
My sympathies for your family. A friend went through that with her mom last year and we spent almost every night online talking about it. Take care of what has to be taken care of.
I grew up in socal long before it was totally filled with people. This kind of place truely feels more like the place I grew up than the place I grew up does anymore. When my visitors were complaining about the heat and the humidity and the drive to big stores I realized that I don't really notice as much now. Walked over the the chicken place today for dinner since the kitchen is in a state of remodeling of sorts. I have been on line a lot less now that the fixit stage has come to the kitchen and want to GET it DONE!
What took me longest to get used to, even if I was totally out of place in socal since I don't hurry with anything, is the pace of life. Somehow I liked the way it seemed normal here for me to take my time, but annoying when something really seemed like it needed doing and ... should get to it next week!!!!
I'm so glad you have family to move to since it should help. You'll undoubtedly be suprised at the differences but will figure them out. Best advice is be yourself and let everyone else be themselves too.
I live right near one end of Main Street. That is where most of the bigger business are and its about 2 1/2 miles to Walmart which is where you run out of town. The old downtown area has a small business area too and thats not far away. I think the population in the city is between 9 and 10 thousand including the agricultural areas. Compared to Riverside where I lived with over 300k population and the area at at least a million, its seems VERY tiny to me. But there are a bunch of smaller small towns around us so I guess its all how you look at things LOL.
Last edited by nightbird47; 08-24-2009 at 04:55 AM..
Thanks for the compliment about my tone on the forum. I try to monitor what I say, and how I say things....If I think I am "being mean," I get really upset with myself!!
It's sad that Native Americans don't receive very much respect where you live. Things seem different here in Arizona....We are surrounded by tribes and they seem to have quite a bit of clout and power in the "scheme of things." They definitely own a lot of land here.
My husband has cancer and I'm not always able to go online right now. Please write more anytime and I will catch up when I can....Thanks, CK
Thanks for writing. Sorry that I'm late in writing back. Thanks for caring about me and my husband. It is kind of a rough time for us right now. We just found out that my husband had cancer in June and the doctors told him that he didn't have long to live....But, he's a fighter and doing good so far! I'm really proud of him.
Good luck with your kitchen. How are things going? Good that you live close to town.
I am used to living a more "slower pace" kind of life already...But, all of the newcomers who moved here from So. CA over the past few years seem in such a "big hurry."...We have "road rage" on our main highway at times now, and lots of impatient drivers. (Sad!!) Things weren't like this when we first moved here....Back then, it was more of a "slow-poke" kind of town and we got used to it!!
Thanks for writing. Write more anytime and I'll catch up when I can!! CK
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