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I lived in New York for 37 YEARS, and not ONCE have I seen a stranger pay for another person's meal.
"Pay it forward"
"What's that," I asked?
I love the South.
What's your Southern appreciation story?
I had been having issues with my debit card in Florida and a man paid for my items in Publix, like $13 or so, and another in Walmart, $24. The guy in Walmart just added his 1 stick of deodorant to my stuff and forced the cashier to swipe his card.
I personally didn't see that as paying it forward and it was honestly embarrassing, because it made it look like I didn't have enough money. While they were extremely nice gestures, deep down you could tell they were truly doing it because they didn't want to wait in line any longer.
I have had people pay for my meal, not just in the south though. A weird guy in Denver offered to pay for my food, I was given some freebies in Malaysia, and when I lived in DC I had multiple people try to buy me drinks/pay for my drinks, and I'm not a woman. People bought me and my ex some drinks in Chicago too. And while not food, I vaguely remember an instance of someone having their subway ride paid for in either NYC or DC.
I don't think paying for someone else's meal is that common, and I don't see paying it forward as a "southern thing" personally. The movie and book Pay it Forward takes place on the west coast. When people do it at drive thrus, it's usually to prove a point to the car behind them, rather than to be nice.
People say there's absolutely nothing southern about Miami and South Florida and that it's "the north in disguise", but some of my nicest friends have came from there, nicer than many people I grew up with. Just my experiences.
You definitely get the most hospitable people in the south though in an overall sense. Southerners are more willing to have a random conversation with you. And as someone else said, I feel like southerners are more wiling to just give stuff away, for whatever reason.
And it's not a matter of it being whether or not someone is a good or bad person; it's largely environmental.
If people in the South are laid back, it's not reflective of whether or not they are a good or bad person.
If people in the North work at a harried pace, it's not reflective of whether or not they are a good or bad person.
If you're in a store in the South, and a stranger makes an offer of help, you think: "that's nice."
If you're in a store in the North, and a stranger makes an offer of help, you think: "is he trying to scam me?"
Different behavioral patterns, and the expectations of society, are largely environmental.
I'm saying people in the same region of the country have different personality types and perspectives. There's not a group identity based on geographical location.
I don't see any reason to believe most people in north would think somebody is trying to scam them by offering to help.
I worked up in NJ outside of Manhattan and outside of DC. The interpersonal interactions didn't seem different than SC.
My son joined the army early this year and he wanted to go out for a steak dinner. We took him to restaurant in downtown Spartanburg. Manager came over and we started talking and she asked if it was special occasion. We told her that our son was leaving that Monday to basic training. She covered our entire dinner, insisted that we have dessert as well, and invited me to come in anytime to talk to her or her assistant manger, who was also a military mom.
She also gave us all hugs and her and I were in tears.
My son joined the army early this year and he wanted to go out for a steak dinner. We took him to restaurant in downtown Spartanburg. Manager came over and we started talking and she asked if it was special occasion. We told her that our son was leaving that Monday to basic training. She covered our entire dinner, insisted that we have dessert as well, and invited me to come in anytime to talk to her or her assistant manger, who was also a military mom.
She also gave us all hugs and her and I were in tears.
Would rep you if I could but that is a Beautiful story of a person making a human connection with other humans. Thanks for sharing.
My son joined the army early this year and he wanted to go out for a steak dinner. We took him to restaurant in downtown Spartanburg. Manager came over and we started talking and she asked if it was special occasion. We told her that our son was leaving that Monday to basic training. She covered our entire dinner, insisted that we have dessert as well, and invited me to come in anytime to talk to her or her assistant manger, who was also a military mom.
She also gave us all hugs and her and I were in tears.
Your story left me both choked up, and speechless.
I'm saying people in the same region of the country have different personality types and perspectives. There's not a group identity based on geographical location.
I don't see any reason to believe most people in north would think somebody is trying to scam them by offering to help.
I worked up in NJ outside of Manhattan and outside of DC. The interpersonal interactions didn't seem different than SC.
I hope you got a chance to visit White Manna, while you were working up in Jersey
My son joined the army early this year and he wanted to go out for a steak dinner. We took him to restaurant in downtown Spartanburg. Manager came over and we started talking and she asked if it was special occasion. We told her that our son was leaving that Monday to basic training. She covered our entire dinner, insisted that we have dessert as well, and invited me to come in anytime to talk to her or her assistant manger, who was also a military mom.
She also gave us all hugs and her and I were in tears.
Can’t rep you but what a wonderful story! Many thanks to your son for his service and our military members are always in our prayers. (Btw, I’d love to know which restaurant)
Another reason I’m loving Spartanburg is that I have found it to be a very patriotic community. Many houses on our street have an American flag flying, our Church lists the active military members in our weekly bulletin and I occasionally see Spartanburg High School students with ROTC clothing.
I love being from the South and I will always rep and defend my hometown of Greenville. Yes, I've been critical of the city in the past, but I have the right to do that, because it's MY home (my family has been in Greenville for at least 150 years)... but nobody from somewhere else better try, LOL. I love the way we talk, I love the way we care for each other, I love that regardless of religious choice we're God-fearing, I love that we're patriotic (my family has a long history of military service, including myself), I love the food we eat, I love our music, I love our culture. I just LOVE being Southern, period. That goes for a lot of Southern black people, too. (I only mentioned "race" because I've noticed that a lot of people don't associate black people with being proud of being Southern and that's soooo not true!)
When we mistakenly got on an express train to the Bronx a kind New Yorker explained what was going on and helped us get off at the next stop and get on the correct train.
Another time when a neighbor in my apartment building outside of DC noticed I hadn't seen me walk my dog in a week or so, she asked what happened. She was very gracious and offered her condolences on his passing.
I’m grateful that on Christmas Eve, it’s sunny and 60 degrees and no snow or ice! Merry Christmas everyone!
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