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Chgodon, sorry I can't be more helpful, but if it's useful I just noticed on Costco's Website that they're selling urns, caskets, and funeral flowers. With special instructions on how to get the stuff delivered ASAP. Not cheap there, either, but maybe less than some other places.
I remember my father's funeral was around $7,000 but it was fairly elaborate: enbalming, a casket, flowers, two days of viewing, payments to the church, and transportation to the cemetery where the plot had been pre-purchased. It didn't seem like too much to me because the funeral director worked his tail off before, during, and after the actual funeral. Also, that was in a very small town. I would assume the suburbs of Chicago would be a lot more. Someone told me once there are some states in which it is illegal to cremate a body that's not in a casket. That sounded nuts to me, but many regulations are nonsensical. You're asking for less than half of what my father had but given the venue difference maybe the $3,000 range isn't too out of line.
Your question made me curious so I did some exploring online. Most sources I saw indicated that cremation with a memorial service should be in the $2,000 - $4,000 range, so the estimate you got fits that.
I don't have any children and I'm seriously considering donating my body to a medical college to avoid all this stuff. There's no family burial plot in any place I'd want to fertilize the soil and I'd rather have the paltry amount of money I leave behind given to my nieces for something they could use rather than requiring them to spend it disposing of me. I knew someone whose parents donated their bodies to the University of Pittsburgh and they invited him to a tasteful event they have periodically to thank the families of the donors.
This is what my parents, my husband, my daughter, and I have already done. We have all donated our bodies to the University of Oklahoma Health Science Center Anatomical Donation Program. All papers are signed and verified. It's comforting to know that perhaps our bodies can help in research to cure diseases or come up with treatments to help the living.
I personally do not want anyone dealing with a funeral or feeling obligated to visiting a gravesite when I am gone. That's been our family's feelings forever. I realize others may think differently.
This is what my parents, my husband, my daughter, and I have already done. We have all donated our bodies to the University of Oklahoma Health Science Center Anatomical Donation Program. All papers are signed and verified. It's comforting to know that perhaps our bodies can help in research to cure diseases or come up with treatments to help the living.
I personally do not want anyone dealing with a funeral or feeling obligated to visiting a gravesite when I am gone. That's been our family's feelings forever. I realize others may think differently.
I didn't think the cost of my husband's funeral was all that bad. It was $3,092.50 and another $700.00 for the headstone. I expected more and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't. I did not have all the bells and whistlers to dragging it into a two day event, though, nor did we have graveside services. As consumers, we do have some control over what we want at funerals and what isn't necessary. Funeral homes have a high overhead and let's face it, how many people want to go into the funeral business? Unless they've grown up in a family of undertakers, going to mortuary school is rarely a choice one would make. We have to pay accordingly for the skilled services that no one wants to do.
Last edited by Wayland Woman; 06-12-2012 at 08:17 AM..
My late husband was cremated and it cost less than 2K. I don't remember exactly but we didn't have a service but we did have a viewing before for family only. He wanted a Celebration of Life which we had at our house.
Friends brought food and the grown kids put together posters with pictures. I know he would have liked it
also in some states, you can request a service expense sheet (or whatever they call it) Its the sheet that shows the breakdown of the basic expenses based on the minimum basic cost associated with handling the body, the minimum basic cost associated with the presentation, and the cost associated with regulatory items and fees. From there you have the base cost of each service type and everything over that is something you elected to spend more on. Often tiems people will be shocked at the cost but forget they picked those expenseive items or added services. By seeing the basic level of service, you can start to see what items or services may be added or trimmed to reach a respectful level of service.
I didn't think the cost of my husband's funeral was all that bad. It was $3,092.50 and another $700.00 for the headstone. I expected more and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't. I did not have all the bells and whistlers to dragging it into a two day event, though, nor did we have graveside services. As consumers, we do have some control over what we want at funerals and what isn't necessary. Funeral homes have a high overhead and let's face it, how many people want to go into the funeral business? Unless they've grown up in a family of undertakers, going to mortuary school is rarely a choice one would make. We have to pay accordingly for the skilled services that no one wants to do.
There is much to what you say here. I only know about the funeral business from conversations I've had and business dealings with funeral directors.
I paid $2,700 for Dad's cremation expenses which included a modest urn. I was not charged though for the use of the funeral home facilities for a service or even for the use of the mortuary's hired pianist who played several musical numbers.
I've been told by funeral directors that many see a bleak future in the business. People are living longer, but the real reason for the negativity is that the number of families who desire expensive funerals is rapidly diminishing. Many believe the profession had a peak period between about 1945 and 1975. After that, its been in a slow, but steady decline. I drive by a major funeral home regularly going to and from work and running errands. Its my observation that far fewer big funerals are being held.
I don't see a lot of brand new mortuaries being built. I mostly see business being done out of older buildings that were constructed long ago.
At the same time, the skill level demanded of funeral directors has increased. I can't imagine dealing with conditions like a death from AIDS, but embalming and body preparation have to be done very carefully and meticulously to not endanger anyone. Mortuary Science is still a two year college program in most places. However, a four year B.S. degree is now being offered and my guess is that it slowly will become the standard.
I didn't feel gouged or taken advantage of when I went to make arrangements at the funeral home for Dad. The people there were helpful and understanding. They have payment issues just like many professions do. In order to collect their bills, they have to really have a good understanding of different insurance plans and a little bit of knowledge of Probate law.
It maybe different in big cities. I believe most "small town" funeral directors earn their money and perform a vital, necessary public service.
..."you can transport said body to a crematorium yourself, pay $125 and it's done"
Seriously. Once I saw that fee, I thought a limo with Champagne would have been cheaper than the standard fee charged by the local company.
I find it hard to believe that state health and safety laws or some other law governing the handling of dead bodies would allow people to ride their deceased relatives around to take them to a crematorium. The lack of decorum in doing that, not to mention how awful it would be to have to make that appointment and be there when the body of a loved one goes in the oven would be too much to handle for most of us. Some services are worth paying for and in my opinion, this is one of them. Funeral directors don't just drop off the bodies. They inspect the oven to make sure it's clean and they stay long enough to see the body go inside and the process begin before leaving. Where I live I couldn't even hand over the box of my husband's ashes to the sexton at the cemetery for burial. Someone from the funeral home by state law had to do bring them over to certify that was was in the box being buried. I can't imagine a hospital releasing a body to a family member who may or may not pick it up in a timely manner.
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