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Unless one is forced to do something (health, economy, etc.) then I say just sit on everything for at least one year. Then consider changes. Do not rush.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,571,496 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv
Not really, you just learn to accept and live with it. The crying used to be right on the surface but now I have it stuffed way down so I don't usually cry at the drop of a hat anymore. I live day to day now.
The crying is right on the surface for me. It's where I do cry at the mention of his name, our marriage, trips we took. I can't think of him, or say his name without crying. I stuffed it down for so many years that now it's coming up to the surface and reducing me to a teary mess at the slightest mention of Bob.
Not really, you just learn to accept and live with it. The crying used to be right on the surface but now I have it stuffed way down so I don't usually cry at the drop of a hat anymore. I live day to day now.
I can't really discuss it without tearing up, around women anyway. I don't talk about it with the guys and if I do I don't cry of course. I keep talking with more and more people who have lost their SO. Cancer, suicide, more cancer. I didn't appreciate what they went through until now.
I can't really discuss it without tearing up, around women anyway. I don't talk about it with the guys and if I do I don't cry of course. I keep talking with more and more people who have lost their SO. Cancer, suicide, more cancer. I didn't appreciate what they went through until now.
It's been a whole lot longer for me than you, artisan. It took me over a year to get to "acceptable" in my book. Yes, I sure did not understand what people went through losing their SO either.
The crying is right on the surface for me. It's where I do cry at the mention of his name, our marriage, trips we took. I can't think of him, or say his name without crying. I stuffed it down for so many years that now it's coming up to the surface and reducing me to a teary mess at the slightest mention of Bob.
I'm so sorry - same here (it's not been that long but I'm having a really hard time)
I'm so sorry - same here (it's not been that long but I'm having a really hard time)
Do you have any children at home that you need to put on a strong act for? If not, cry, cry and cry some more. Scream if you want. All my neighbors heard me wailing every day, morning, noon and night for months upon months.
If you believe in a deity, pray. After 6 months I prayed and it's been uphill ever since.
This will not ever go away completely but it does get easier to deal with over time.
A week after my husband's death I took our rings to a jeweler who attacthed them, one inside the other, at the top he added a bale. I wear them around my neck on a gold chain.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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4 1/2 years and I'm still wearing mine, his is on a chain around my neck...no intention of taking my rings off. I'm over 60, living alone for the first time in my life, trying to figure out who I am. My whole life was someone's daughter, then wife, mother, grandmother and now just me...widow. I'm getting used to living alone and I cannot see myself every remarrying because in my heart, I still am married. And I'm still deeply in love with my husband. When I'm no longer in love with him, I might take my rings off, but I really can't see that happening. This month we'd be celebrating our 41st wedding anniversary....
I looked up this question and found this website. My husband has been gone for 2 years and I not only wear my rings but I wear a ring of his on my right hand middle finger. I know that I'm not married any longer but I can't bring myself to take it off. I see people who has loss their spouses and have removed their rings. I was starting to feel like I was weird by not taking them off. I can't wear them at work but on my days off I find so much comfort in putting them back on again. Its like slipping a old friend back onto my finger. I don't think I will ever completely remove them. I don't judge anyone if they remove them or wear their rings, I guess its a matter of what you can do to make yourself happy.
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I lost my husband 5 months ago and have not taken off my rings. Actually I took his wedding ring and another ring he wore on special occasions and had them put together and sized to fit my middle finger, and I wear his rings right next to my wedding rings. I can't imagine not having them on with mine.
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