What are some things people have said to you when your loved one died that made you angry?

[Soda120]

It wasn't WHAT was said, but HOW it was said. A "friend" at church (when I attended years ago) came to me, SMILING, and said, "I'm sorry that your grandmother died." So why are you smiling, Brother Turnip Head? I politely said, "Thanks." and walked away. This was my GRANDMOTHER, not my pet turtle.

Also, a co-worker said, like she was reading a one-sentence weather report, "I'm sorry about your grandmother." That heifer smiled, too. She and I didn't like each other anyways, so I could have done without her b.s. However, I politely said, "Thanks." She knew that I knew she didn't mean it.

What would really get me - and I hope to God that no one will EVER say it: "It was God's will."
That's guaranteed to get that person a cussin' out, and maybe I'd re-arrange their teeth.

If it feels awkward to say something, don't say anything. I like being alone during those times anyway. I usually operate best alone.

The nicest things someone did for me during those times were: 1) Converse with me, then made me laugh; 2) Mailed a book about losing parents (right after my Dad passed), and 3) distracted me with everyday stuff, like e-mails and YouTube stuff about history, etc. Those three things definitely helped. To this day, those people are kind of special to me. I thanked them for it, too.

[rnsleepy]

When I unexpectedly lost my son who had just turned 18, my mom tried to comfort me and told me it was part of Gods plan. I was so upset and hurt I had to stop talking to her for awhile after that. I never told her how much that bothered me, I know she was just trying to be helpful and that she was hurting too.

[tamiznluv]

Hasn't anyone read that God sometimes does that to keep someone out of harm's way in the future? I did a long, long time ago.

I'm very sorry you lost your son.

[SassySpice]

After reading so many of these post I've come to the conclusion that many of you are overly sensitive, & perhaps that's to be expected. If people express sympathy "I'm so sorry for your loss", complaints of the person was smiling when they said it (perhaps they didn't want you to feel down by having a gloomy face), & complaints of be insincere. Then there are complaints of people not expressing sympathy at all but when they do you find fault with everything said. Most people mean well, you need to take that into consideration, & a lot of people want to comfort you but aren't quite sure how to. Try to realize your emotions are out of balance during your time of bereavement & maybe, just maybe you're directing your anger for trivial comments is your way of letting off steam. Hope you don't think I'm insensitive to what you're going thru or have gone thru cause I've had my share of grief as well & some things didn't sit too well with me such as close relatives who didn't even bother to go to the funeral of parents, didn't call or send a card, so I've had some ill feelings too. However in order to move on in life you've got to let some sh*t go.

[laserdiscfan]

When my mom's boyfriend killed himself, she got several responses to the lines of "Well, he's going to hell and burning for that", and "He is a chicken-**** for doing that, he deserved it". It's amazing how heartless people can be, and nobody could understand what he was going through to actually end his own life. I didn't ever meet him personally, but my mom loved him and it still haunts her to this day.

[SXMGirl]

After I returned to work after the funeral of my grandmother, my boss asked how my vacation was. I was in a meeting when this happened and the staff was astonished to put it mildly. I just gave him the look that I have perfected over the years and made no comment.