lost both parents

[tamiznluv]

Originally Posted by kailua128

Thank you Marcy1210. I have good days and bad days. It's all compounded by some terms in their will that the house must be sold within a certain time frame and proceeds split. While that's great, I haven't had any time to mourn and now Im having to go through things at a pace not of my choosing. I'll probably look back and be fine with it all, but right now it feels like a crushing weight on my shoulders. My brother helps where he can, but everyone else lives a continent away, so it's all on me. You're right, I have moments where I'm fine, then mad at them for leaving, then inconsolably missing them. And the physical pain- I've never felt such a heaviness on my chest before and I'm so sick of crying! Sleep, I remember sleep once. Oh how I took it for granted...
Anyway, thank you for the kind and thoughtful post, it's good to know others have been through this. I know I'll get through it, too. But some days I just want to bury my head like an ostrich!

Maybe you should do just that, kailua. Take a day off just for you and lay in bed, sleep or cry your heart out or scream at the frustration of being under a time deadline. I wonder what prompted your parents to do that? A lawyer? If you can't take a whole day off, maybe a morning or an afternoon would help.

Best of luck and my condolences.

[oceanskybutterfly]

Yes, I have experienced this same thing, at age 13. My parents died 3 months apart at the ages of 44 and 50. And, no, not many people experience this with both parents at such a young age, disagreeing with the person that said, this is life and yes everyone experiences it.

It depends on how old you are what the effects will be. No one seemed to understand what had transpired with me, my younger sister or my 2 brothers when my parents died leaving us 4 children behind to fend for ourselves. It was like, "Get over it." It has been 48 years now and I am just now old enough to actually realize what that type of even does to a person. No one understood. That is until it happened to them, and then it was just the most terrible tragedy anyone ever had.

I always feel like when a parent dies and the children are grown, it was a wonderful blessing that they had their parents so long and got to know them as people and not just as mom and dad, parents.

I did not get that. I don't really know which is worse, getting it over with at a young age or knowing your parents for many years and then losing them. Both have their residua or after effects. My parents didn't get to see me graduate high school, something I accomplished even though I had no parents. They did not see me on my wedding day or see my sister when she married. They never saw our children or our children's children. Even though my sister's children and my children and my brother's children shared the same grandparents, the kids have never known what it was like to be at grandma and grandpa's house with all the aunts, uncles and cousins and the same grandparents between them.

I grieved from age 13 all the way to age 38 when I was finally able to let go and go on with my life. I am now 61 and I think I am over grieving, but dang it, we sure missed out on a lot of family times. It's okay, time does heal. We don't get over it, we just learn to live with whatever life has brought our way over time.

Love to all who have lost parents or other loved ones at any age. My God keep you enfolded within his arms. Be kind to yourselves and don't let anyone tell you, "you should be over that by now," because each one does what they need to do to get better, take as long as you need.