Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Go to a Pentecostal Funeral, your goin to hell regardless if your saved or not. Instead of Eulogizing ones life it turns into a Hellfire and Brimstone affair with a self serving preacher. I understand it's their line of work to save souls, but Jesus, there's church on Sundays if we wanted saved. I've heard a preacher pretty much say the deceased was goin to hell with his family in the front pew. Not for the faint of heart.
I certainly didn't mean to upset anyone with my "stuffy" comment but with my experience in my youth with the catholic church and since having been to other churches and my wife having been born and raised in Ireland where the Catholic religion was literally beaten into her it wouldn't be my first choice.
It is interesting to read the responses to the original question. I feel going to church or being dragged to it due to a wedding or funeral etc.. can be a reflection of faith and spirituality of anyone willing to ask that question of themselves, "is there a God". I don't go to church, probably should, but when I do it does tend to lift my heart and turn my thoughts that living is a celebration of life itself. Maybe that is why I felt like clapping at my friends Dads funeral.
The other family members, friends or relative should not feel uncomfortable by your Eulogy speech. Emotions of you have lot for death one but between this speeches control them and say best points about him/her.
The Eulogy speech at the time of funeral is very hard task to complete but you should try best for this task and give the perfect speech at this time.
I say it all comes back to the family of the deceased. If they are okay with it, (laughter, applause, etc.), then why not? Respect for them is the priority when unsure. Beyond that, simply celebrate the life of the person who died in whatever way feels right to those close to him/her.
There's no one right way to hold a funeral. They should be as unique as the people they honor.
I certainly didn't mean to upset anyone with my "stuffy" comment but with my experience in my youth with the catholic church and since having been to other churches and my wife having been born and raised in Ireland where the Catholic religion was literally beaten into her it wouldn't be my first choice.
It is interesting to read the responses to the original question. I feel going to church or being dragged to it due to a wedding or funeral etc.. can be a reflection of faith and spirituality of anyone willing to ask that question of themselves, "is there a God". I don't go to church, probably should, but when I do it does tend to lift my heart and turn my thoughts that living is a celebration of life itself. Maybe that is why I felt like clapping at my friends Dads funeral.
There is a time and place for most things,weddings and funerals are not the same thing,just in case you did'nt know this.
I'm sure if someone dies you really care for dies,you'll be clapping,singing and dancing in celebration,but most people don't grieve that way.
Yesterday I was at a funeral of a young man 31yr.s old,and the family may have done serious bodily injury to anyone clapping or celebrating. Both parents were not in a good mood to say the least. This is a new world and a new age ,but not a better one.Bad is good and good is bad.Dis-respect is now known as tolerence as is most evil.
Many people now specify before death that they want humour injected into the eulogy. or with the final music,. and now most celebs, have quips and jokes about things that person said or did... cant see any harm.... at my mums the minister right at the end of his sermon, said..... "go on Betty dance your way into heaven".... as Id told him she had been a great jiver in her younger days ..and it gave everyone a wee smile...
Please let me tell you, when I got the applause it was healing and wonderful and made me feel that both myself and my father were loved.
I gave the eulogy at my father's funeral. Rather than try and relate it all here, I'll just say I think the mourners were compelled to clap because it was a very difficult eulogy in that my dad had been a terror in his day to his family and everyone knew it.
But they also didn't know the horrible start he had (essentially abandoned at 5, and raising himself by the age of 12), his humility at not ever discussing that he was a top-rated international helicopter pilot, his fun and generous side (on long car rides he'd buy us whole lobsters and let us eat them in the back of the car)... Or that when I put hard questions to him as an adult, he stood his ground, gave me honest answers, never denied a thing, and suffered greatly when he realized mistakes (we forgave him all but he could never forgive himself). I then sincerely thanked him for teaching us honesty, integrity, hard work, and the importance of family and friends.
And then it was silent. I thought: How awful, you say all that and then are greeted with silence, and you just sit down and the funeral's going to continue immediately... But before I got to my seat - clapping, and all I could say with a huge smile was "THANK YOU!! I didn't think you could clap at a funeral!!" , and I swear, IT CUT OUR GRIEF IN HALF AT THAT MOMENT. My brother was actually beaming, and my mom looked happy for that time. The rest of the funeral felt different, lighter, and like we were all closer. That could have been my relief and gratitude for the applause...
BUT - this was an older man, and his death was not too unexpected. I think now, before I go into a funeral, if I know the people well, I'm going to ask if I can clap after the eulogy if it FEELS right. If I don't know the family that well, I think I may clap ever so quietly (IF it feels right), and see if it catches. Later many people told me that felt like standing up, so if you're feeling it, most likely others are too. It really helped in that moment and for the rest of our lives to deal with the loss. So great question and I hope this helps somewhere sometime.
I don't know about catholic churches, but in the church where I grew up, clapping was not appropriate. I still like my religion quiet and contemplative, not like a hootenanny.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Reply
