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tngrl...How are you doing now? I've been going through an unexpected "rough period." Have a sinus infection or ? And get depressed at times...I let myself cry yesterday and I probably need a few more long "cries."...Somehow I always find a little something to lift my spirits. (For awhile anyway!)...I think I'm going to plan to move out of the area down the road. Think I need a "fresh start."...I'm considering all of my "choices and opportunities" right now. But first I need to let my tears flow out a little more...Hi to everyone!
tngrl...How are you doing now? I've been going through an unexpected "rough period." Have a sinus infection or ? And get depressed at times...I let myself cry yesterday and I probably need a few more long "cries."...Somehow I always find a little something to lift my spirits. (For awhile anyway!)...I think I'm going to plan to move out of the area down the road. Think I need a "fresh start."...I'm considering all of my "choices and opportunities" right now. But first I need to let my tears flow out a little more...Hi to everyone!
Hi CA, I'm hangin in there. Getting through Easter weekend was rough, 4-1 was rough....but I made it. I find myself a little down in the dumps though. I think some of that is waiting to hear if I get to go back to the probation job. I just so want things to be "right" in my life, and it is not all there at the same time. Does that make sense? The anniversary of his death has had a subtle, but real affect on me. No surprise.
I think a change might be good for you, but don't rush it and give yourself time. You are in no hurry. I look back on the last year and I still do not regret that I moved into this new house. It was a good decision and one that God put in place for me. The only thing I might have changed....and still could in the future.....is maybe a smaller house. This house is 1400 sq feet and good size for me, but I could even do with a little smaller. But that could happen down the road, in the future. For now, I am content in my new home. I am ready to "dig in the dirt" and get some flowers planted. That is exciting!! I love gardening
I hear ya about wanting to let the tears flow out a little more. A friend of mine who is the director of a hospice facility told me that you need to get it ALL out, as much as possible, before you can move on with your life. That means crying, talking, writing, screaming.....just get it out of you. That makes sense to me. I think for the rest of my life/our lives, we will have the right to break down whenever we chose, as we are a select few who has had our lives devastated by our losses. That's ok though, it means we are healing, I think.
Thanks for asking about me. I hope this finds you feeling better soon. You are a wonderful friend. Take good care of yourself.
tngrl...Thanks for writing...I'm glad you made it through Easter and the anniversary...I feel like I'm dealing with all kinds of anniversaries right now. (All at the same time.) I feel like I'm getting "hit" from every possible "side." (If this makes sense.)...I think we probably "store" a lot of feelings away in "compartments" until we can deal with them. Don't you?...And all of my "compartments" opened-up at the same time and I'm "flooded" with feelings. And overwhelmed....Going to take some more time out to cry today and tomorrow and so on...I have to remind myself to get out of "all or nothing" thinking at times. We have more than "one shot" when it comes to customizing our life and making changes as we go along...You brought this up in regards to the size of your present house and possibly moving to a smaller house in the future...When I get into "all or nothing" or "one shot" type of thinking I live in fear of making mistakes. And I have to remind myself that I can always create changes down the road.. Or I tell myself that it's okay to make mistakes etc. (Since I'm human just like everyone else and "fallible!")...Thanks for keeping in touch and good luck with your job change.
tngrl...Thanks for writing...I'm glad you made it through Easter and the anniversary...I feel like I'm dealing with all kinds of anniversaries right now. (All at the same time.) I feel like I'm getting "hit" from every possible "side." (If this makes sense.)...I think we probably "store" a lot of feelings away in "compartments" until we can deal with them. Don't you?...And all of my "compartments" opened-up at the same time and I'm "flooded" with feelings. And overwhelmed....Going to take some more time out to cry today and tomorrow and so on...I have to remind myself to get out of "all or nothing" thinking at times. We have more than "one shot" when it comes to customizing our life and making changes as we go along...You brought this up in regards to the size of your present house and possibly moving to a smaller house in the future...When I get into "all or nothing" or "one shot" type of thinking I live in fear of making mistakes. And I have to remind myself that I can always create changes down the road.. Or I tell myself that it's okay to make mistakes etc. (Since I'm human just like everyone else and "fallible!")...Thanks for keeping in touch and good luck with your job change.
Thanks CA....just one more thing that I wanted to mention, and in no way trying to minimize what anyone who has suffered a loss is feeling. I lost my husband and it was/is overwhelming.
You have lost so much more! Your entire family!! That is just unimagineable to me. You have layer upon layer of grieving to do. However it happens, for you, is just the way it happens. Deal with it moment by moment. It will probably take you longer than most of us (and I don't mean to be insinsitive here), but again, there is no right or wrong....it's just something we have to endure.
tngrl...Thanks for writing and caring...It has been hard to cope with the loss of my entire family...It's hard to figure out what to do next.. Where will I "fit-in?" What should I do? Where should I go? (Or not??)...When my family was alive I had a sense of "belonging" that is missing today...But I don't want to make hasty decisions just to avoid being "all alone" either...Kind of rough at times. Thanks for taking the time to understand my situation. I know it's been rough for you too. (And rough for everyone who has lost loved ones.)
I've definitely learned that life may not always seem "fair."...Was it "fair" for me to lose my husband and both my sons so early in life? (All within a few years?) Probably not!...But who is the "keeper" of "fairness?"... I think we're all handed different "tests" and challenges in life. Don't you?...How can we grow if we're never challenged? How can we grow if everything stays the "same" and we never run into any obstacles? (To overcome!)...I don't want to "drown" in self-pity so I don't let myself rant and rave about how "unfair" life has been to me...Of course I need to work through my grief over losing my loved ones. And this might be a long process for me...But I don't want to get caught-up in "blame" and thoughts about "unfairness." Or all the "injustices" that were supposedly "done to me" etc. (Because I don't want to be miserable!)...I guess I trust that there is a "higher purpose" to all that I have been through. (Something that I just don't "know about" yet.)...How do you feel about "fairness" or "unfairness" in life? (And how it relates to self-pity?) Thanks!
I heard talk about life being "unfair" when I was growing-up...When I was 7 (or so) my longtime best friend "kicked me to the curb" and became best friends with a new girl on our block...I was lousy in sports and the last one to be picked for teams. So my Dad played ball with me every night and I got better and better. But none of my classmates noticed...My parents always felt sad when I faced tough situations in life. Or got hurt etc. But they reminded me that life wasn't always "fair." And their words stuck with me.
I have heard the "life is unfair" term all my life. Sometimes it's easy to feel that way. But as a Christian, I know that everything happens according to God's plan in our lives. We may not know the reason for it, but it is not just by accident that things happens. I firmly believe that.
I am comforted by the faith that I have in God, that no matter what happens in my life, He will get me through it.
I have heard the "life is unfair" term all my life. Sometimes it's easy to feel that way. But as a Christian, I know that everything happens according to God's plan in our lives. We may not know the reason for it, but it is not just by accident that things happens. I firmly believe that.
I am comforted by the faith that I have in God, that no matter what happens in my life, He will get me through it.
tngirl
Me too, tn.
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