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{{{{{{CA}}}}}} Big hugs to you. I hope you do write about your family. I know I'd love to read it. I wish you beautiful memories, peace and strength. Hugs and love to you...
Thanks Marcy! Thanks for caring...My older son passed-away when he was only 37. And my younger son had just turned 40 when he died...Maybe I'll write more about them soon.. Thanks again for your sweet post.
I'm glad you shared this important date with us. I'll be thinking of you and your son.
Just to make sure I'm not mixed up, is this your "Casino Son," meaning of course where your family would meet? If so, maybe part of your experience with Smilin' got you more in touch with your feelings specifically for and about him.
This has to be touching you at a different level since, as you indicated, essentially after you lost him then your husband and second son weren't that far down the road.
Hopefully, this time will allow you to grieve the other lost opportunities you didn't have with him. Writing is such a good idea.
I wish you weren't in this position. I'll be thinking of you.
Sending hugs across the miles. I wish I could do more.
MSR
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona
In a couple of days, it will be the anniversary date of my older son's death...I think my older son can get lost in the shuffle because he passed away before my husband and younger son died...Everything happened so fast and it's all been a "blur." Everyone died within a few years of each other...Anyway, I have my older son on my mind now and I sure miss him! I miss everyone!
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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That hits home because my daughters are 37 and 40 right now. They're in the prime of their lives~~they have teenage daughters of their own, plus tween daughters. Your sons left much too early. There was so much more you all had to say and share. Life is so unfair...But, I'll bet if you listen carefully, you'll hear them because they're always with you. You'll never walk alone.
I'm glad you shared this important date with us. I'll be thinking of you and your son.
Just to make sure I'm not mixed up, is this your "Casino Son," meaning of course where your family would meet? If so, maybe part of your experience with Smilin' got you more in touch with your feelings specifically for and about him.
This has to be touching you at a different level since, as you indicated, essentially after you lost him then your husband and second son weren't that far down the road.
Hopefully, this time will allow you to grieve the other lost opportunities you didn't have with him. Writing is such a good idea.
I wish you weren't in this position. I'll be thinking of you.
Sending hugs across the miles. I wish I could do more.
MSR
Thanks MSR...You have a good memory. The last time I saw my older son was at the casino.. His girlfriend was moving to Denver so her 2 sons could be closer (in proximity) to their dad...They both came out together and spent the night at the casino. Then, she drove on to Denver with the moving truck and he flew back home to LA the next day...I was proud of my son for being supportive of his girlfriend and wanting her sons to live closer to their dad. (Even though she was moving farther away from him.)...Eventually, my son had plans to move to Denver himself. He had a great relationship with his girlfriend's young sons and would have made a wonderful stepdad one day..Sad that we all lost him so early in life. He was divorced and never had any children of his own.
That hits home because my daughters are 37 and 40 right now. They're in the prime of their lives~~they have teenage daughters of their own, plus tween daughters. Your sons left much too early. There was so much more you all had to say and share. Life is so unfair...But, I'll bet if you listen carefully, you'll hear them because they're always with you. You'll never walk alone.
Marcy...Thanks! I finally went to the grief support group meeting yesterday and I plan to go back next week and continue on with the group. (As long as it feels "right" to me.)...I have been through a horrific "loss." No sense pretending that it's a "piece of cake" and "no biggie" for me...Anyway, I felt "at home" in the group yesterday. We shared our sadness and our tears and "tales" about our loved ones. But our sense of humor came into "play" (too) and we ended-up laughing at times. (And this sure felt good!)...We even talked about the pets we lost and the pets we still have left. And other "losses" too. It was all "open-ended" and really helped me...Thanks again for writing and caring!
This is the first time in 15 years that I have not been a depressed mess in January-March. Last year was really bad. In January 1999 my husband got sick and was hospitalized and continued in hospital until his death on march 24th. This has always been a bad time for me. But this year I am so distracted by a major change (for the better) in my work and home life, that I am too distracted to think about it.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,571,496 times
Reputation: 8044
CA, I'm so glad you felt comfortable and at home in the group. Such a big step, but it sounds like something that might be wonderful for you. You have come a long way, but it's nice to have people in real life to share your losses with. I'm glad you laughed, as humour is part of the healing. I'm so proud of you for taking this step!!! A big hug being sent your way!
CA, I'm so glad you felt comfortable and at home in the group. Such a big step, but it sounds like something that might be wonderful for you. You have come a long way, but it's nice to have people in real life to share your losses with. I'm glad you laughed, as humour is part of the healing. I'm so proud of you for taking this step!!! A big hug being sent your way!
Marcy...Thanks for being proud of me and happy for me. Most of the people who came to the group this week were widows. (Close to my age.)...This was the first time I've been around widows in my area who openly admit that they miss their husbands and still have grief to work-through...One woman lost her husband and her daughter. Sad! I can relate to her "compounded grief."
Thanks...I'm so sorry you lost your twin brother. Just read your touching posts...How have you been doing? I feel like I need to write about my family too. Think I will soon...Thanks again for writing and caring.
It's hard when I dwell on it. It wasn't that he only died, but that his life was so hard. He was very sick and had a rough time of it for decades. He suffered emotionally and physically. His life was basically crap and then he died. It was not a relief, but bad on top of bad. It still leaves me angry. But, now that I have a child I don't know how parents survive it. I've been thinking of you this week. It's good to write about them and keep them close so time doesn't take the memories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona
Marcy...Thanks! I finally went to the grief support group meeting yesterday and I plan to go back next week and continue on with the group. (As long as it feels "right" to me.)...I have been through a horrific "loss." No sense pretending that it's a "piece of cake" and "no biggie" for me...Anyway, I felt "at home" in the group yesterday. We shared our sadness and our tears and "tales" about our loved ones. But our sense of humor came into "play" (too) and we ended-up laughing at times. (And this sure felt good!)...We even talked about the pets we lost and the pets we still have left. And other "losses" too. It was all "open-ended" and really helped me...Thanks again for writing and caring!
I'm glad you found a group to be with in your grief. {{{Hugs}}} to you.
It's hard when I dwell on it. It wasn't that he only died, but that his life was so hard. He was very sick and had a rough time of it for decades. He suffered emotionally and physically. His life was basically crap and then he died. It was not a relief, but bad on top of bad. It still leaves me angry. But, now that I have a child I don't know how parents survive it. I've been thinking of you this week. It's good to write about them and keep them close so time doesn't take the memories.
I'm glad you found a group to be with in your grief. {{{Hugs}}} to you.
I'm sorry your brother had such a rough life. Thanks for your caring and supportive posts. Sending you a hug back!
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Thinking of You and You Oldest Son
