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I've been helping a friend take care of rescue cats. And I've become attached to all the kittens and larger cats...One of my favorites was a mostly white cat who looked just like my cat "Silky" who died in January....This cat was happy and fine yesterday and I spent time with him. (And the other cats too.)...Well my friend found this kitten lying dead this morning and asked me to bury it. She was too upset to even go near the dead cat...I don't know why the poor little cat died. It was so sad...I talked to it and even petted it and told the kitten how much I loved him...Then I buried him for my friend. Guess I really am becoming an "old pro" when it comes to death but I wish this wasn't true...I'll sure miss the little kitten. I asked my cats to please take care of him in the afterlife.. Too many deaths! I need a break from dealing with anyone's death for awhile. But I guess I've become stronger.
You bet you are stronger CA. I have a cat in my home now with my son moving in. I am more dog person, and have had two golden retrievers in the past. Still considering another just a bit uncertain if I want to take on another responsibility right now. Hugs to you C.
You bet you are stronger CA. I have a cat in my home now with my son moving in. I am more dog person, and have had two golden retrievers in the past. Still considering another just a bit uncertain if I want to take on another responsibility right now. Hugs to you C.
Jude...Thanks for the hug! Sending you a hug back...I grew attached to the little white kitten even though he was only part of my life for about 6 weeks or so...He had such a short life. But I'm glad that I was around to talk to him and play with him while he was "here."...Wow! Life can be so fragile and "iffy." There's no telling how long any of us will "be here."...Great that you have your dogs. Animals can be a big responsibility. I agree with you...But I credit my cats and my son's cats and now all of the "rescue cats" for giving me a reason to get up in the morning after my human loved ones died.
I see I another thread that your son's year anniversary was the other day, CA. Why wouldn't you tell us here what day it was? I'm sure all of us would have wanted to send you a cyber hug.
I see I another thread that your son's year anniversary was the other day, CA. Why wouldn't you tell us here what day it was? I'm sure all of us would have wanted to send you a cyber hug.
I've finally stopped marking the 29th of every month as an anniversary. And I've stopped feeling guilty about it.
I know my spouse wouldn't like me being sad and depressed all the time, and I'm trying like hell to find a way to move forward -- to decide what I want to do when I grow up, to reinvent myself again -- but these things do take their own sweet time, no matter how hard you try.
Tami and MSR...Thanks for caring. The first anniversary date of my son's death was a few days ago. (Sort of "sandwiched" in between a lot of other "stuff.")...I dealt with cats who died. (Recently.) And I've been helping a sick friend almost everyday. (Among other things.)...For awhile I didn't know whether I was "coming" or "going." Good that I didn't totally "crack-up!"...It's been a rough period. But hopefully life will calm down for me (soon) and I'll get back on "track" a little more. Didn't have much leisure time for awhile....And I became "bottled-up." (From trying to play "soldier.")
I see I another thread that your son's year anniversary was the other day, CA. Why wouldn't you tell us here what day it was? I'm sure all of us would have wanted to send you a cyber hug.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81
I've finally stopped marking the 29th of every month as an anniversary. And I've stopped feeling guilty about it.
I know my spouse wouldn't like me being sad and depressed all the time, and I'm trying like hell to find a way to move forward -- to decide what I want to do when I grow up, to reinvent myself again -- but these things do take their own sweet time, no matter how hard you try.
Sending you a BIG HUG!...The other day a friend kept telling me that my husband and sons would want me to "move forward" and be happy. And of course I know this is true. Just like your husband would want you to "move forward" and be happy too....But sometimes it "bugs me" when friends tell me this. I got a little "cocky" with a friend who said this to me the other day. I told her that my husband and sons would want me to be "true to myself" and work through things in my very own way....My family didn't step-in and tell me "what to do" very often. We were all stubborn and independent people. (With strong "wills" and minds of our own.)....When my first husband died I didn't tell my sons that their Dad would want them to "move forward" and be happy. They knew this on their own...I felt it was best to let both of them deal with their grief in their own way and timing.
My son's first year anniversary date sort of got "lost" because I've been "spread thin" and stressed-out and pulled in so many directions lately...So I'm going to set aside another day soon to "connect" with my son...I told my friend that I just can't be "on call" all the time right now. Don't want to "run" myself into the ground. Or wind-up having a nervous breakdown...Have to take care of myself too! Need to "nurse" myself back to health and reduce the stress in my life...I don't mind helping every so often but I just can't be my friend's "one and only" and "sole provider" right at this particular time.
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