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Today marks exactly 5 years since I lost my Dad. He went peacefully with us (his grown children) at his side. I whispered to him just before he left us that Mom will be waiting on him at the Gates, and to give her a hug and kiss for me. Driving to work this morning, I felt my Dad's presence; I was a bit sad but I could swear I heard him tell me: "Don't you start crying! Don't you shed not one tear! I am in a better place now, and I can walk and talk again!" (He'd lost speech and movement resulting from a stroke, several years prior to his passing).
I'm trying to hold fast to his stern order: Not a single tear, for dad would not approve.
I lost my dad in 1996. He had been in cardiac ICU for a week. The doctor let my kid, his grandson, visit. My son was a bit frightened at first. He was five years old. I put him on the bed and explained all of the tubes, wires and beeping things. He crawled all over grandpa, kissed him, and finally took a nap by his side.
It was a tough day because the Dr. said he'd be gone in a few minutes, but he lived for another six hours. OMG, my mother sat in the chair crying and going to his bed, saying, "goodbye" every five minutes.
I couldn't stand it any longer! I started discussing Monty Python and telling bad jokes. He flatlined when my mom, brother and I were laughing about silly old memories.
Today marks exactly 5 years since I lost my Dad. He went peacefully with us (his grown children) at his side. I whispered to him just before he left us that Mom will be waiting on him at the Gates, and to give her a hug and kiss for me. Driving to work this morning, I felt my Dad's presence; I was a bit sad but I could swear I heard him tell me: "Don't you start crying! Don't you shed not one tear! I am in a better place now, and I can walk and talk again!" (He'd lost speech and movement resulting from a stroke, several years prior to his passing).
I'm trying to hold fast to his stern order: Not a single tear, for dad would not approve.
You are allowed to cry. You have feelings. You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to miss him (and your mom, too).
I can tell you that it really helps. It's a release. It's much better than holding the sad feelings inside of you.
I understand your feelings OP, I lost my dad in 2008 and my mom in 2013 and I miss them so much. Sometimes I wake up in the morning with my mom heavily on my mind. I have felt both of their presence strongly whereas it feels as though they are standing right next to me and all I have to do is turn around and look at them. I told somebody once how much I miss them and that person told me that I should get over it already that I did my best. Since then I don't say anything to anyone, I guess because I'm a big strong guy I shouldn't still be missing them.
I understand your feelings OP, I lost my dad in 2008 and my mom in 2013 and I miss them so much. Sometimes I wake up in the morning with my mom heavily on my mind. I have felt both of their presence strongly whereas it feels as though they are standing right next to me and all I have to do is turn around and look at them. I told somebody once how much I miss them and that person told me that I should get over it already that I did my best. Since then I don't say anything to anyone, I guess because I'm a big strong guy I shouldn't still be missing them.
What a terrible thing to say to you! It's been 22 years for Mom and 10 years for Dad and I still miss them wicked bad. I always will. That person was heartless or never suffered such an important loss. ((( Hugs))) to you.
What a terrible thing to say to you! It's been 22 years for Mom and 10 years for Dad and I still miss them wicked bad. I always will. That person was heartless or never suffered such an important loss. ((( Hugs))) to you.
I agree with the others. I lost my mother 25 years ago and my father a little over a year later. They were not the best of parents and our relationships were often contentious, as was theirs, but in some ways I still miss them and always will. I lived hundreds of miles away and was not their for either of their deaths and perhaps that just made it a it more difficult.
As for the bozo who told you to just get over it, likely he never lost someone or simply didn't care. We all grieve in our own ways and for however long it takes. There's no timetable!
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