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Cyn, glad you are doing things away from home. As hard as it is for you right now, it will surely pay off in the long run.
As for having your heart involved too much... how could it be any different? It's your husband you lost, not a vague acquaintance.
My heart is way bigger then my brain (mind) although I do pray the Lord will give me a bigger brain! As silly as that may sound it is so true. I want so badly to be smart and although I know I am intelligent I would like more of what it is I need to get me through all of this.....time I suppose--time. Have a blessed evening everyone!
Cyn... Sweetie, I don't think your heart is bigger than your brain. It takes smarts to deal with things like you do, you just don't see it. And there's nothing wrong with being loving, and sensitive. It's actually a form of intelligence!
Cyn, how are you? Paypal issue sorted now? its very very cold here. Hope its a bit better there, I wont be messaging here for the next 4 days (going out of town). Hope your day is well.
About some insensitive people, i am dealing with one right now. So, I have not been having a great relationship with DH and I shared that fact with someone whom I thought I can confide in. He turned around said, I must have done something to deserve this. So there. We come across all kinds of people. Have a great day!
Maila, trust yourself. No relationship is always perfect and sometimes they just cannot be fixed. Most of the time it is the fault of BOTH husband and wife....I very seldom confide in anyone anymore. My trust issues have been compromised to many times in the past. That is why it feels safe here! Sweetie, whatever that person said you must have deserved---well he needs to live your life and that is impossible. I am learning to put those kind of people and that kind of advise on ignore. Even my dear sister whom I love to death hurt me so badly last night with an off the wall comment but with her I have to believe it is those darn painkillers they are giving her. It has changed her and sometimes she can seem so evil and mean. It's so sad. I cried myself to sleep but once I got up this morning I took a little time to think about it all and had to remember the sister she use to be. Hopefully someday she will be able to get off those darn pain pills and come back as herself. I think that is a huge reason I hate drugs so much and find it very hard to accept taking them. I had my doctor appointment yesterday and after eating it seems all the time I have only gained 2 pounds--I was very disappointed but still it is 2 pounds more then I was so I'll be happy with it and just keep on eating. Everything else is fine--BP is my typical low so that is good. The doctor asked how my meds are working--so I smiled and was a little embarrassed and told him I only took one of the antidepressants and it made me sick that night---I told him it's probably in my head but I can't change that and it's one of those things where the mind does take over control....I also told him I stopped the Vyvance because Medco decided it was now going to be $120.00 instead of what I was paying $15.00. So I had enough of those left in my old prescription to wean off and use some old medication I had from a few years back that I know I can take although they do make me a bit anxious not as anxious as a bill for $120.00!! Ha! So I have a whole 3 month supply of medication that cost me $120.00 that cannot be returned so they just sit in my drawer. The doctor agreed to give me my old medication. I have taken ADD medication since I was 16 years old with a few years off while being pregnant and nursing my babies so I do know what my body needs although things do change like grief turns your whole being upside down and makes it like ADD X 4, age changes things..I would just love to afford a naturalist doctor and not take any drugs but insurance doesn't cover them. Maybe someday!
It is rainy and cold again today and business is very slow so I am going to try listing a few different items if I can find something interesting in the shop. Even my poor kitties are driving each other crazy! They are bored and not thrilled about going out in the rain. Maybe I'll put a few boxes and bags out for them to play in. Wish I could be entertained so easily!
Cyn, you have no idea how much your post helped me. Thank you. I am hoping the next few days vacation will bring us (DH and I) closer. With a baby on the way, I am really hopng for his support.
Maila, another important factor that may be causing problems in your relationship is you must remember being pregnant changes so many hormones in our bodies that we are not always thinking in our usual way. I know I was very emotional when I was pregnant. Just a thought! I am not in any way saying it is you that is the problem but it is important to look at all angels.....your DH is probably going through his own changes with knowing he is about to become a daddy! You both need to keep an open mind right now!
So not such a good ole' day here--can't find item I sold--errr....focus! I probably threw it out when painting the den...so canceled the sale and I sure can't afford to do that. Oh well--tomorrow is another day. Sold 2 things today but no one paid so never left the house--it's cold anyhow so I'm okay with it. About ready to pack up the critters and head west--JK. Tired of cold already.....maybe tomorrow will be warmer.
Oh my, looks like the grieving process has really taken hold of me in another form now--memory. Well, also my girlfriend and I moved everything out of the den to paint but now I have lost or misplaced 2 items that were sold and I just cannot find them. I spent all day yesterday looking for some vintage Christmas lights with no luck and finally had to cancel that order and today it was a Snap On tool. I can't afford this kind of mistakes. I called my son in tears really frantic and he just told me to relax--we all do lose things even under normal circumstances so for me it would be very understandable and for me to stop being so hard on myself. I've just never had this problem but they say it happens with grief...wonderful! Thank goodness tonight is Hospice grief share--I NEED it! I called my girlfriend in Big Bear yesterday and told her to start getting ready to move! Something has to change!
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As silly as that may sound it is so true. I want so badly to be smart and although I know I am intelligent I would like more of what it is I need to get me through all of this.....time I suppose--time. Have a blessed evening everyone!