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You are so kind Maila--you really are. It's okay, I'll just work it back up. It isn't really a big deal my feelings were just hurt and I felt like I let my DH down with his account but I know I did all I could have and I can build it back up. But I do thank you from my heart.
Honey, you are not Super Woman or Wonder Woman. You are you and you're dealing with the loss of your husband. You just keep on keeping on and don't worry about letting people down. You have been doing an amazing good with all you've had on your plate. I would probably still be in the bed with the covers over my head if I were in your shoes. Did you and your son go look at cars on Monday? Hope you find the one that is "just right" for you. Hugs.
Cyn, I have thought of you every day, although I have stayed away from posting. I cannot begin to know what you have gone through, but what I know for sure is, you need to grieve as long as you damn well please, and however you damn well please, and don't apologize for it. Hugs.
Thank you my dear friends..thank you. For some reason the last couple of days have been really really bad.....more emotionally then anything else. I did get the beds in the right rooms but I changed the comforter on my bed and I hate it. I need a bright color and am so disappointed in the one I bought at a yard sale. It's in nice condition but it just is not me....I need to get another one right away but I hate spending the money. I may just put my old one back on it for now.
And then that bone that is poking out of my gum where I had that tooth taken out is getting infected I think and is so sore. I just need something good right now. And yet, I have had so much good and I tend to forget that when I hurt. I am calling the dentist in the morning and getting this fixed once and for all. I don't care if it costs--I'll pay it on a credit card because it has to be fixed. It will only get worse and cost more if I don't get it fixed now. Besides I can't even eat with it right now and I sure don't need that. So that will be first thing to do tomorrow--wish me luck! I know once my mouth isn't hurting I will feel better all over! Have a good evening everyone!
Sorry to sound so grumpy--my mouth is so sore and it really makes life pretty miserable but you all sure don't need to hear about that. Again sorry--tomorrow will be better!
Thanks Dude! Always a lift from you!
I got a burst of energy last night and took that bedspread off and put my old deep red one back on! I even managed to lift that king size mattress enough to get the dust ruffle on the bottom! I did it and it made me feel so much better. Maybe just having a little of DH near me when I sleep helped too. Oddly my mouth is not as sore this morning but it's early so I'm still going in and making sure there is no infection. I am considering taking my one kitty, Whitey back for a check up at the vet as the Dr said to bring him back in a month and it's been a month. Just to have him checked over. I know I told my kids no more vets but I took them to the Dr when they were small so I'll probably do the same with my fur-babies. I have always been able to pretty much do their health care but as they are aging things get more difficult. I just need to know they are not in pain. No treatments to extend their lives--I'll just do like Hospice does--make sure they are comfortable and pass in Gods time. I picked up 2 thank you cards I will write on today---one for the Hospice Dr and his wife (they gave me the cubical crystal cross at the memorial) and the other card for all the rest of the crew there--the angels! TODAY I WILL start my "BLESSINGS" jar. I feel that will really be good therapy. So often, like yesterday for me, we can only see the miserable things going on around us, the things we cannot fathom being able to accomplish and that is when I need to pull out a few of my blessings from the past to remind me that I get so many blessings--so much more then I can ever remember so writing them down will be perfect! I'm excited to start that. First thing I must package up a couple of things I sold on ebay--hooray! I have been very fortunate to have had some very caring loving customers too...another blessing! Vacuum up the living room and change the kitty beds for washing and then it's off to the post office, stop by Hospice to drop off my cards and then off to the dentist. I think it's going to be a good day today so I'm taking full advantage of it---with the waves of emotions I'm going to learn to jump on the high waves and hopefully learn to deal better with those low parts. Have a good day all!
Cyn......you sound as if you're in a wonderful frame of mind.....so many positive, "Yes I can" messages to yourself! Maybe changing the bed back can account for some of it. Carpe Diem.
I think I felt like my DH was sleeping next to me with my old comforter...maybe sounds weird but the smell even reminded me he was there. I think I was trying to hard to move to fast--it's okay for some things but obviously that was not one of them. So far I got most things accomplished today..am waiting on hold for Microsoft to try to get DH's account worked out because they keep trying to bill his credit cards and I had them closed. I really don't want to change the name but just pay for it myself but it doesn't sound like they are willing to work with me on this. DH is the one that the people recognize the name on the account--my name won't mean anything to most anyone else. Honestly I don't even know why or understand Microsoft/outlook anyhow. More to learn I guess.
The dentist was able to get the bone spur out and my mouth feels so much better. He is going to start with x-rays next week to see what we are looking at for work to be done. I already told him I'd have to pay on time and not on a credit card--he seems willing to work with me. Fingers crossed! Now I hope my teeth are not in bad condition. I'd love to get my living room vacuumed if I could get someone to answer this phone. Been on hold for 15 minutes now. I seem to spend more time on hold on this phone then I do anything else lately. UGH!
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