Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Celebrating Memorial Day!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 10-04-2014, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
10,662 posts, read 9,324,343 times
Reputation: 32009

Advertisements

Sometimes the best thing is to let the day unfold and see what it brings. Do what you can when you feel you can... I know staying busy can make one feel less sad for a minute, but the pain is still there. Don't be afraid to embrace this pain, as I think it's part of the grieving process.
Big hugs

 
Old 10-04-2014, 02:16 PM
 
Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 24,319,742 times
Reputation: 15031
As hard as I have tried today I cannot keep this depression away. I got out, went to the store, listed an item online, even mowed the rest of the yard and the dogs yard and I still feel so bad. I so want to shake this and I feel like such a baby but I just can't. Maybe the new church tomorrow will help. I am just so sad.....It's that wave of the ups and downs I know that but it still is hard to deal with. I did buy BuBu a cool smoked knuckle bone--really big and he is thoroughly enjoying that. Actually I think he searching for a place to bury it so it will soften up--yeah right!. He has one very big bone we got him years ago and he still digs it up now and then to munch on it--yuk! It's suppose to go down to 38 degrees tonight--brrr.

Last edited by cynwldkat; 10-04-2014 at 02:27 PM..
 
Old 10-04-2014, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
10,662 posts, read 9,324,343 times
Reputation: 32009
My Cyn, what you are feeling is normal. You still need to adjust to a new reality. So don't feel bad about those feelings, ever.
Big big hugs.
 
Old 10-04-2014, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there
18,287 posts, read 23,194,030 times
Reputation: 41179
Yes what Sudcaro said plus the days are getting shorter and that has affected you in the past so factor that in as well. My mother didn't get dressed for a couple of weeks after my father died so compared to that you are amazing. You're able to get dressed, run errands, do chores, fend for the critters and still list stuff. Depression and grief don't fit inside a "mold" or "forumula" both must be handle by each of us differently until we see the light again.

I hope you will like the new church tomorrow.
 
Old 10-04-2014, 05:41 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
14,956 posts, read 12,162,044 times
Reputation: 24853
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat View Post
As hard as I have tried today I cannot keep this depression away. I got out, went to the store, listed an item online, even mowed the rest of the yard and the dogs yard and I still feel so bad. I so want to shake this and I feel like such a baby but I just can't. Maybe the new church tomorrow will help. I am just so sad.....It's that wave of the ups and downs I know that but it still is hard to deal with. I did buy BuBu a cool smoked knuckle bone--really big and he is thoroughly enjoying that. Actually I think he searching for a place to bury it so it will soften up--yeah right!. He has one very big bone we got him years ago and he still digs it up now and then to munch on it--yuk! It's suppose to go down to 38 degrees tonight--brrr.
As everyone else has said, the depression you're feeling now is entirely normal, and it'd be unusual if you didn't feel that way. It hurts, I wish and you wish you didn't have to go through it, but we know it's part of your journey and part of the grieving process for your loss. You're doing so well, doing things, being out with your family, neighbors, working outside, caring for your critters, listing things on ebay. And it's only been a couple weeks since your DH's death, you're doing well, but that sadness and loneliness is bound to sneak up on you, especially in quiet times. Be gentle with yourself, do whatever you feel like doing to comfort yourself, to feel better during these rough times. I wish you continued strength and courage, and comfort as you go through these days, and you will come to a place where it doesn't hurt every minute and you can remember your DH and your shared memories with joy and love.

And I'm laughing at the thoughts of BuBu with his TWO big bones, his trusty old one he's had for years and still loves, and the brand new one you just bought him. Do you think he'll bury both of them, alternate the bones he digs up- reveling in having two bones now? Will he share a bone with his cat? ( I'm just kidding, LOL)

Take care of yourself, dear lady, and I promise, it will get better with time.
 
Old 10-04-2014, 06:00 PM
 
Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 24,319,742 times
Reputation: 15031
Oh he already attempted to bury the new bone but only got it partially buried. You see a poor Basset Hound has such short legs they have to use their nose a lot for burying things plus our ground is grass for the most part so it's isn't an easy job--bless his heart! I walked over to the partially buried bone and looked at it and came in the house. When I looked out the window he was moving it to a new location and once again trying to bury it. Did make me smile. I do think I will buy him a smaller bone he can actually eat and enjoy tomorrow after church. I have a neighbor stopping by in the afternoon to buy some fishing gear so at least I will have some company in the afternoon. That will help. Your post was very touching TL, thank you! And thank you sudcaro too--as always you are there to hold me up!
 
Old 10-05-2014, 05:08 AM
 
Location: Florida (SW)
48,149 posts, read 22,013,215 times
Reputation: 47136
Good Morning cyn and friends. "Sunday-Go-To-Meeting" greetings to you; I hope that you do get out to the new church and I hope that you find a supportive, welcoming and friendly congregation.
 
Old 10-05-2014, 01:39 PM
 
Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 24,319,742 times
Reputation: 15031
I did visit the new church and they have much to offer but I didn't much care for the sermon. It is not how I believe or think. Very opinionated on certain subjects that I just don't agree on so although it has much to offer I would not feel right going for that alone. So on to the next church next week. I can see this may take time but at least I am trying and getting around people. It is a beautiful day..my neighbors stopped by and put batteries in my smoke alarm--it is hard wired but still requires batteries--I didn't know that. And they put up some blinds in my den to help keep the heat in and the cold out during the winter. They had gotten them for my DH so the sun wouldn't shine on the tv when he was watching it from his bed but just didn't get them up before he passed away. I'm sure my DH is watching and really appreciates them doing it as much as I do!
 
Old 10-05-2014, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Florida (SW)
48,149 posts, read 22,013,215 times
Reputation: 47136
God Bless your neighbors, for the batteries in the smoke alarm and for the blinds. Both should really help.

Good Luck in looking for a church that is supportive of your values and beliefs. Sometimes and especially in some regions....that can be a challenge....but keep trying.
 
Old 10-06-2014, 04:32 AM
 
Location: Florida (SW)
48,149 posts, read 22,013,215 times
Reputation: 47136
Good Morning cyn and friends. It is the start of a new week....Surely, it will be filled with challenges but also with blessings.

Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top