Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Dear Cyn,
Your journey through your husband's illness and now experiencing a new life without him, the grief you are experiencing is quote, 'normal" and you will determine how much you can handle and how much you can't. The sadness, I remember it well. I even went through the same kind of grief after the passing of my four animals recently. But, I want to tell you it will get better. You will get back that smile, you will be the woman your son and daughter remember but you won't be the same but you will transform into a the new "you".
Today I entertained a new group of friends. Five wonderful beautiful woman came over to my house today and a smudging took place. I served a salad with all of the fixings. We laughed until we cried. It was the best time I had in ten years. Honestly. I never thought I would laugh so hard in my life but I did. When you are ready, the people, the job, will come into your life and enhance your life. I joined another group of friends and I went to movie and dinner with one of the ladies this week and going out with another friend I made from this group. I wasn't ready for these groups of people to come into my life five months ago but when I was ready people found me and you know what? It feels good, my life feels good and I would never have imagined it to be this good, NEVER. Just thought I would share this with you. It took 31 months for my life to transform. The one woman that was here today is a widow and she said she cried for the first 15 months after her husband died. This is normal. Hugs to you!!!
You have no idea how much it means to hear that smilin! Each morning I wake up I wonder why--why can't I just stay asleep until it is over? I dread each day and life should not be like that but I have several little critters eagerly waiting for their morning rub and food. My BuBu is always peeking out his condo door waiting to see my face. They love me! They need me! They are my reason.......
Guess I "finally" got the right night---it's tonight for the concert. It's a religious concert with dinner at the church first. Not sure why I feel so uptight....this lovely older couple is coming by to give me a ride so no driving but I just feel weird. Guess I haven't been out much and maybe I'm just having those awful insecurities again. I'll let everyone know how it goes. We leave here at 3:45 to go to dinner at the church and then off to the concert. I'm not even hungry...
Guess I "finally" got the right night---it's tonight for the concert. It's a religious concert with dinner at the church first. Not sure why I feel so uptight....this lovely older couple is coming by to give me a ride so no driving but I just feel weird. Guess I haven't been out much and maybe I'm just having those awful insecurities again. I'll let everyone know how it goes. We leave here at 3:45 to go to dinner at the church and then off to the concert. I'm not even hungry...
Try to relax and enjoy. This sounds like a nice safe outing for you.
For 6 months I woke up from whenever I slept and first thing my mind said was "I have to do this all over again?" I didn't want to go through the searing pain and heaviness in my heart day after day after day. I did not want to go on but also had decided not to try and kill myself, thanks to this forum.
One day I fell to my knees and through hysterical crying, beseeched God to help me. The next morning the pain and heaviness were gone. The sorrow was still there but the physical pain was gone. I have been moving forward since that day. I am at peace with the life I am living now. Not a great one, I have no social life except for on C-D and a couple of other places but I am content with my animals and my 'puter and tv.
All will fall into place given enough time (for you) and the want to live. I now thank God every day I wake up.
tamiznluv.......such a sad story.....but thank God for the relief he provided after you turned to him in your pain. Hopefully it will continue to get better....thanks for sharing your story. We never know who we are chatting with on line....until we stop and listen and talk.
Thank you, elston. I like to share the story of my "survival" with others in the hopes it may just help someone.
If I can stop one heart from breaking,I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
The concert was nice...long..way past my bedtime. But the singing was great! The company was the best so I won't complain. I woke up at 1:30 am with a horrible nightmare...I dreamed I pulled the box with my DH's ashes in it from under our bed, opened it and he was still alive and here I had been keeping him in that box. Horrible. Hard to go back to sleep. Was considering skipping church this morning and decided even though I was tired I probably really needed it today after that dream so I went and am glad I did.
Wow tamiznluv--if for no one or anything else this forum helped you so much it makes it all worth while! It is a safe place and to even think it may have given you that little bit of hope to keep going makes me feel like not only am I helping myself here but others too. What a blessing. Thank you from my heart for sharing that story. I myself have gotten very down and distraught but with help from others here have pulled through! I am now on month 4 and I honestly thought my life would be in much better condition but grief has no timetable and for each person it is so different. I have to push myself to get out of the house but I do. I dread waking up each day like you did but as I have said before I have my critters to care for--God knows what he is doing. I just have to let him guide me, trust in him and live my life day by day. God has his own timetable so it is out of my control. That is not always easy to remember.
Very glad you had a good time last night, cyn. Sorry you had a wicked bad dream. I hope tonight is peaceful.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
