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Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,573,613 times
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I was doing well until my oldest daughter called and we started talking about Bob. She started crying, so I started crying. It was sad knowing that her kids won't know their mom's dad. Otherwise, it was okay.
Andrew called and he was a little down in the dumps, but spent a wonderful day with friends, so he was good. Several friends called me and couldn't believe it was five years already. The time has just flown by....I was watching Resurrection today, and realized that if Bob were a Returnee, I'd be 3 years older than he was. Kind of weird when I was two years younger.
It does get easier, but I still miss him desperately. I think he'd be surprised at how independent I've become. He wouldn't recognize my life in any way, it's so different from when I was his legal assistant in a tiny Colorado mountain town....
Next milestone? His 65th birthday on November 3rd. He'd have been officially retired and we'd be here in AZ together full time. Sigh................
im curious marcy was that always your plan to move to az when he retired ? It is good how independent you have become and that is awesome . I think most widows do become independent and I think that is a good thing . I did the same when I became a widow at 33 . I went on for ten years before I even thought about remarrying . My kids were grown by the time I remarried and I was so glad they were . Im sorry you could not go to AZ together .
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,573,613 times
Reputation: 8044
Yes, we had been coming to Tucson since 1993 for Spring Training, and fell in love with it. It had the mountains we loved, good weather in winter, a lot of activities for seniors, and friendly people. We knew that at some point, we were going to need to be in a town opposed to the extremely rural area where we lived in Colorado. We would need to be nearer to doctors, hospitals, grocery stores, etc. So, we looked for several years, and in 2008, bought this condo. We spent the winter/spring of 2008/2009 down here and it convinced us we'd love it here. We were going to semi-retire in 2009, and fully retire this November 3rd, what would have been his 65th birthday.
I had no choice but to become independent. I had no one to fall back on. My kids (except Andrew at the time) were scattered to the winds, with families of their own. It was either buck up or die. And, as much as I missed him and really didn't want to live without him, I did want to live. So, I learned how to pay bills, how to budget and manage money, how to fix and repair things, (you should see my tool box!!), how to make decisions, how to live on my own. I'm not interested in finding another husband. I've gotten so that I like living alone. I haven't dated and I'm fine with that. I've made a few friends, but the women are all married, so when they invite me to dinner at a restaurant, or to a get-together, I really feel like a 3rd wheel. It's uncomfortable, so I don't socialize very much. I was always a hermit up in the mountains, now I'm a hermit in the desert.
Yes, we had been coming to Tucson since 1993 for Spring Training, and fell in love with it. It had the mountains we loved, good weather in winter, a lot of activities for seniors, and friendly people. We knew that at some point, we were going to need to be in a town opposed to the extremely rural area where we lived in Colorado. We would need to be nearer to doctors, hospitals, grocery stores, etc. So, we looked for several years, and in 2008, bought this condo. We spent the winter/spring of 2008/2009 down here and it convinced us we'd love it here. We were going to semi-retire in 2009, and fully retire this November 3rd, what would have been his 65th birthday.
I had no choice but to become independent. I had no one to fall back on. My kids (except Andrew at the time) were scattered to the winds, with families of their own. It was either buck up or die. And, as much as I missed him and really didn't want to live without him, I did want to live. So, I learned how to pay bills, how to budget and manage money, how to fix and repair things, (you should see my tool box!!), how to make decisions, how to live on my own. I'm not interested in finding another husband. I've gotten so that I like living alone. I haven't dated and I'm fine with that. I've made a few friends, but the women are all married, so when they invite me to dinner at a restaurant, or to a get-together, I really feel like a 3rd wheel. It's uncomfortable, so I don't socialize very much. I was always a hermit up in the mountains, now I'm a hermit in the desert.
I'll bet my tool box is bigger than your tool box. Seriously, it takes a while to get used to being alone and the one in charge of everything. There used to be two brains here to make decisions. Though my adult son currently lives with me, he's gone for about fifteen hours a day. All of my friends are married or have a SO. I don't mind being alone; I rather like it. I just wish that I had another person to help me make decisions, figure things out. Left to my own devices, I can be pretty wishy washy and indecisive.
This past October 20th was my fifth anniversary, too, of my loss.
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