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as far as all the well-intentioned advice to OP to get another dog-
I strongly disagree.
He (and wife) will know when and if they should get another pet.
That might be the right move for some people, no one can say if it is the right move for the OP, except he and his wife.
I did not mean to get a pet today.........just to keep their hearts open to the thought.
It's a tough loss...I understand how you feel...It took us several years before we were ready to bring home another dog.. Well Lilly's been with us for a few years now and the pain has passed. We are a complete family again..Right now Lilly is sitting besides me sticking her nose on the key board...I wouldn't have it any other way...
I'm sure Maggie would be proud of you to bring home her spirit in another brother or sister from another mother.......I know you'll smile again..
It is tough when a pet dies. It was two years in October since I put my dog down. I miss her tremendously. I focus on that we gave her a great 15 years. 13 of them she took care of us, the last two we took care of her. I really did not care for it too much when people, who meant well, said: "just go get another one". If one of my sons were to die, I don't think anyone would have said that.
Tell your wife you are sorry. She is also grieving.
If I had another life style I would get another dog. I travel too much and to be honest I love the freedom I have to be able to get up and go somewhere and stay as long as I want. I think one day I will get another furry pet. The just give such unconditional love and provide such comfort. There is certainly a void in my life without her.
Force yourself to reach out to people and make plans to get out. It will be good for you.
Condolences on the loss of your friend. But are you taking things too far? It sounds like it. I have pets, and have lost them. Very few pets have a lifespan average even close to ours.
The thing that is probably hurting you the most is watching the videos every day, and leaving the toys out. Clean up the toys, dont watch the videos every day. you're making the pain not go away, and reinforcing it. Its not what your dog would have wanted, and its not good for you.
So very sorry for your loss. While some people may think you are nuts, we, who love animals, totally understand. When I had to put my two 17 year old cats down, I wept like a baby. For the longest time I couldn't bear to look at their pictures, and I always felt guilty that I made that unavoidable decision.
BUT................we have to console ourselves by thinking of the wonderful life we gave our beloved pet. So many poor animals never have that opportunity, and because of us our dog or cat had a great life.
I also swore that I never wanted another cat, didn't want to go through that pain again, but then, one day, my Son found Lucky under a car in traffic and saved his life. So Lucky came into my life and I am so thankful. He isn't a replacement pet for Sniffy and Scooter, but I am able to give him the same good home I gave to them, and he has made the pain go away to a large degree.
You have the opportunity to save another little life, and when the time is right bring one into your home and let him help you heal. Believe me, it will work miracles.
PS. I have not yet apologized. I think she KNOWS that I am sorry; we are too close to each other to not sense such things between us. I am afraid to bring up the subject--the house has been even more gloomy since Friday night's. I don't want to add to the gloom.
It's interesting how many folks are focusing on the loss of Maggie, getting another pet, etc. and are overlooking how you blame, and then humiliated your wife in public.
Listen, you need to stop blaming your wife for the loss of your dog. Like another posted, if you felt so strongly about the food your dog was being fed, you could have changed that. Additionally, you don't say how old Maggie was or what she died of, so what she was fed may not have made one difference.
1.) Stop blaming your wife who loved Maggie just as much as you
2.) Apologize for being an ass, immediately. Sure, I know when my husband is sorry, but what makes it 100% better is him saying "I'm sorry". It's a simple acknowledgment that he recognizes he's hurt my feelings. (and absolutely no "I'm sorry but..." or "I had too much to drink..." BS)
Not only is your wife grieving the loss, but she has to feel your blame as well. That must make her feel great. Are you depressed? Maybe you need to see a doctor.
Also, I saw this recently and it really resonated with me:
To the OP: I agree with the other posters who feel you should apologize to your wife. Please don't assume that she "knows" how you really feel. Man up, and say the words.
Or... One can do as I did, and begin to pledge cash money to animal charities, as many as I could humanly afford, rather than regard an animal as something that needed replacing. Judge not lest ye be judged comes to mind here, particularly when a poster comes to City Data in the throes of guilt and grief.
None of us know this mourner's marriage. None of us know the psychological and emotional parameters of his love for his deceased "child." While I have said, like you, that he should apologize to his wife, I think it's unkind to turn this thread into a whole 'nuther subject.
Bless you!!
I had my precious cremated too. She was 16 when she died. I keep her ashes and her pic on a shelf too and I don't care what anyone thinks!!!
I didn't even know you could get your pet cremated until I heard what a friend said. Someone asked her about Buck, her German Shepherd, and very casually she said, "Oh, yes, Buck is still with us. He's just on a shelf in the corner of the closet."
So that's when I knew I could keep my dog's ashes and I didn't feel so silly because I knew someone else who did the same thing.
And yes, somewhere along the way, there has to be a little humor there to make things easier. My dog's name was Crash, and there were a number of times the vet (who knew my dog his entire life and was crying when she put him down) and I had a laugh about 'Crash's ashes'. It is truly something you need to be able to do after facing such a loss. If you have humor, you can get through anything, even if you're crying when you laugh.
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YES.
