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It makes me so mad when I hear people say "just cremate me". That's what MIL would say when I tried to discuss final expenses. Like cremation is free! Look, even a simple cremation can run up---there's transportation from wherever she died to the funeral home/facility, the actual cremation, storage of the body until its cremated, whatever urn or box its returned in unless you are ok with a Ziploc bag, then, WTH do you do with the box or baggie? Sit it on your mantel? I wonder how many ashes are eventually tossed out in the trash
Then, if you want to bury it, well, there's the cost of the grave or niche, and marker. Even if you have already bought the grave, you pay to open and close it---I was astounded, for my father, it was $800! We should have just had some friends with shovels
So, to say "just" cremate me is a complete cop out! Everyone should have at least a basic $2000 burial
policy or be left to rot
We had our cat put to sleep and they sent him home in a cardboard box they called a "coffin" charged $100 for it we buried him in the backyard. Too bad they can't do that for MIL---minus the cardboard coffin, of course
Last edited by MaryleeII; 12-18-2014 at 06:42 PM..
There would be 4-6 mourners at any type of service, me and dh, BIL and his wife, and, possibly, my two teens. That's how I came to the 4-6 figure. However, there are only two siblings to share the costs.
If there are truly going to be only 4 to 6 people attending a funeral service, plus one sibling has absolutely no money, AND your MIL did not appear to care what happened (or she would have pre-paid her own funeral expenses) I would suggest to your husband to do the absolutely cheapest option available.
BTW, although I am not sure that they offer cardboard boxes for burial, funeral homes must offer simple wooden boxes (as some religions require that). When our mother died we asked about that, mainly out of curiosity, the least expensive casket (22 years ago) was about $2,000 and the wooden box cost about $200.
Last edited by germaine2626; 12-18-2014 at 07:18 PM..
It makes me so mad when I hear people say "just cremate me". That's what MIL would say when I tried to discuss final expenses. Like cremation is free! Look, even a simple cremation can run up---there's transportation from wherever she died to the funeral home/facility, the actual cremation, storage of the body until its cremated, whatever urn or box its returned in unless you are ok with a Ziploc bag, then, WTH do you do with the box or baggie? Sit it on your mantel? I wonder how many ashes are eventually tossed out in the trash
Then, if you want to bury it, well, there's the cost of the grave or niche, and marker. Even if you have already bought the grave, you pay to open and close it---I was astounded, for my father, it was $800! We should have just had some friends with shovels
So, to say "just" cremate me is a complete cop out! Everyone should have at least a basic $2000 burial
policy or be left to rot
No, cremation is not free. But it's much less expensive than a full funeral with a casket, a viewing, hired cars, a church ceremony, burial and reception.
This is your husband's mother. He has a voice in how much is spent, whether you agree with him or not.
And, btw, it is legal to have a "backyard burial" in many places.
If there are truly going to be only 4 to 6 people attending a funeral service, plus one sibling has absolutely no money, AND your MIL did not appear to care what happened (or she would have pre-paid her own funeral expenses) I would suggest to your husband to do the absolutely cheapest option available.
That's what we will do, if we have a chance to do any planning. Right now, SIL is handling the arrangements, I'm not a part of it. I just hope she doesn't sign up for "the works" then expect us to pay. I told dh NOT to sign anything. Also, don't leave a deposit on a credit card. From what I remember from Business Law, if you make one payment on a contract, you've accepted the contract.
Reading through this thread, is obvious I really don't much care about MIL, jus the bill. Ok, well, I can't feign grief, and she really did pull some major crap on us just to be devilish. I can't waste any tears on her!
If I were making the arrangements, I would find the cheapest cremation service available, after all, it all results in the same thing, a box of ashes. Then, would buy a simple box or urn, then have it buried alongside her husband. The plot is paid for, except to open and close. Then, a simple graveside service. You can find preachers "cheap" through funeral homes, or sometimes the cemetery. Then, we all go to Golden Corral, everyone pay their own, we talk and say nice things about the deceased, then, that's it. Oh, I do have some frequent flyer miles I can cash in for flowers.
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,352 posts, read 2,823,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII
That's what we will do, if we have a chance to do any planning. Right now, SIL is handling the arrangements, I'm not a part of it. I just hope she doesn't sign up for "the works" then expect us to pay. I told dh NOT to sign anything. Also, don't leave a deposit on a credit card. From what I remember from Business Law, if you make one payment on a contract, you've accepted the contract.
Reading through this thread, is obvious I really don't much care about MIL, jus the bill. Ok, well, I can't feign grief, and she really did pull some major crap on us just to be devilish. I can't waste any tears on her!
If I were making the arrangements, I would find the cheapest cremation service available, after all, it all results in the same thing, a box of ashes. Then, would buy a simple box or urn, then have it buried alongside her husband. The plot is paid for, except to open and close. Then, a simple graveside service. You can find preachers "cheap" through funeral homes, or sometimes the cemetery. Then, we all go to Golden Corral, everyone pay their own, we talk and say nice things about the deceased, then, that's it. Oh, I do have some frequent flyer miles I can cash in for flowers.
No, cremation is not free. But it's much less expensive than a full funeral with a casket, a viewing, hired cars, a church ceremony, burial and reception.
This is your husband's mother. He has a voice in how much is spent, whether you agree with him or not.
And, btw, it is legal to have a "backyard burial" in many places.
That's my whole point, Mattie. Its his mother, his money, he has every right to decide how he wishes to proceed. I'm just afraid it will go overboard bigtime and we will be stuck with the bill when we can barely pay our own bills. I am just here to vent, because I can't say anything to him that would be hurtful or upsetting. He's stood by me in my times of grief, now its my turn.
I don't know if its legal to do a backyard burial in Texas But if they opted to scatter the ashes, perhaps in her backyard garden? She loved her garden and spent many hours there..
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,352 posts, read 2,823,762 times
Reputation: 10348
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII
It makes me so mad when I hear people say "just cremate me". That's what MIL would say when I tried to discuss final expenses. Like cremation is free! Look, even a simple cremation can run up---there's transportation from wherever she died to the funeral home/facility, the actual cremation, storage of the body until its cremated, whatever urn or box its returned in unless you are ok with a Ziploc bag, then, WTH do you do with the box or baggie? Sit it on your mantel? I wonder how many ashes are eventually tossed out in the trash
Then, if you want to bury it, well, there's the cost of the grave or niche, and marker. Even if you have already bought the grave, you pay to open and close it---I was astounded, for my father, it was $800! We should have just had some friends with shovels
So, to say "just" cremate me is a complete cop out! Everyone should have at least a basic $2000 burial
policy or be left to rot
We had our cat put to sleep and they sent him home in a cardboard box they called a "coffin" charged $100 for it we buried him in the backyard. Too bad they can't do that for MIL---minus the cardboard coffin, of course
All we want is a direct cremation....we have a pension and money but still don't want all the hoopla and charges...sure it costs but not as much as some people pay...plus like I said we rented an empty Urn for show for $400 Even direct costs....it's ridiculous. .
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, then, WTH do you do with the box or baggie? Sit it on your mantel? I wonder how many ashes are eventually tossed out in the trash
But if they opted to scatter the ashes, perhaps in her backyard garden? She loved her garden and spent many hours there..
