Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin
Go back and read your original post. It's all about you, you sound very selfish.
When people are ill and don't look like they used to, you put on your big girl pants and deal with it.
I can understand about not wanting to go the viewing, but you let social commitments with people you could have seen anytime supersede seeing your grandfather. Guess the Super Bowl party was more important.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I can't stand selfish when people play the "I don't like hospitals or going to nursing home" card.
It's not all about you, and once people are gone they're gone. There are no "do overs".
Also remember your mother lost HER father, cut her some slack.
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^^ This. Be kind, and put your own wishes aside. No doubt everyone wishes life could go on just as before and that your grandfather were still around and in good health. But it can't, and he's not. So honor his memory by being respectful and kind. It's one weekend, not the rest of your life.
There's what seems to be a similar situation in my own family right now, with extended family members who dearly loved an elderly relative not even being notified of his death by closer family members and ignoring calls, texts, emails, etc. Word of his death came via a phone call to the nursing home, not from either of his adult children. Even his brother has not been contacted by his niece or nephew.
It feels very manipulative and controlling, for no apparent reason whatsoever, and leaves many of us who live in other states (cousins, a brother) wondering what the heck is going on?? Distance is a factor, and hours of driving will be required of those of us who want to attend the funeral. Assuming there IS a funeral...as was clearly stated to be his wish by our lost relative.
Meanwhile, two of his young adult grandchildren who were dearly loved by their lost grandfather are now tweeting trivialities and posting videos of rock concerts on YouTube. I just don't get it, and cannot imagine behaving in such clueless and detached ways were I in their shoes.
It's not all about you. Your last visit to your grandfather may have meant a great deal to him, and I am glad you conceded to your mother's wishes in seeing him, despite his altered appearance. He was still the same grandfather who loved and cared for you when he was well, and appearance is just superficial. Get past it.
There will be lots of other fun weekends with your friends, but your grandfather will have only one visitation and only one funeral. If you don't want to see him in his casket, then don't look. But go. Your mother and other relatives need you, and it's the respectful and caring thing to do. You won't regret it in the long run, but you might have lots of regrets about skipping it later on, when you grow up considerably more.
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