The way we look at death

[gouligann]

I think it ALL depends on the situation of the death.

NO ONE in their right mind would celebrate and party after the death of a child, a person who committed suicide, was killed by a drunk driver, an accident of any kind, or a homicide victim.

If an older person lived a good long life, then a Celebration of Life is appropriate as long as the immediate family agrees to it. By saying a "Celebration of Life", I don't mean a bunch of people getting together and getting drunk as a way of celebrating. That's just a sad excuse to get drunk IMO.

[Cida]

Because the time to celebrate a person's life is when he's alive. That's why we have birthdays and anniversaries.

[snowchaser2002]

Originally Posted by irootoo

This. When someone I love dies, it leaves a hole in my heart that cannot be filled, no matter how long I live after them, until (as I believe) I die and am with them once again.

To me, the death of a loved one is most definitely not a time for rejoicing. Maybe they are rejoicing in the light on the other side (I hope so) but I'm still stuck here in the dark without my beloved friend or relative to brighten my days.

I so agree with this! This is my first Christmas after loosing my life partner and of course I have lost some loved ones before too, and you are right, it never gets easier here, in fact it can get harder as their memories begin to fade as time goes on.

[gouligann]

Originally Posted by snowchaser2002

I so agree with this! This is my first Christmas after loosing my life partner and of course I have lost some loved ones before too, and you are right, it never gets easier here, in fact it can get harder as their memories begin to fade as time goes on.

So sorry that you'll be going through this Christmas without your partner. I can't imagine the feeling of loss. I hope you have other loved ones to spend the day with and that your good memories will help get you through the day. (HUGS)

[snowchaser2002]

Originally Posted by gouligann

So sorry that you'll be going through this Christmas without your partner. I can't imagine the feeling of loss. I hope you have other loved ones to spend the day with and that your good memories will help get you through the day. (HUGS)

Thanks so much! I have some dear friends and my sister who will be in town this year, I must admit I love the holidays but this year I am secretly wishing 2016 would get here!!! Thanks for the warm words!

[Mightyqueen801]

I am sorry for those who lost a person they loved this year. It's hard to go into the new year without them.

Today I learned of the death of someone who was once a very good friend. She died more than a year ago, but I only found out today. It was news I always knew I would hear, because she was the worst alcoholic I ever met, but for a few years she was sober, and the funny, warm, loving person she really was shone through. I spent all day in mourning, but now I think I can concentrate on the good times we shared and hear her infectious laugh in my memory.

[Delahanty]

Originally Posted by nezlie

My question is this? Why do we look at death as a time for grief and mourning and not as a time for rejoicing and celebration of the life that was spent with us and in this world? I know this is kind of a psychological/philosophical question and maybe this isn't the right forum. But anyway, are you ok that others will grieve at your funeral and afterward or would you prefer that they accept the eventuality and perhaps even celebrate your passing, as some people say they do?

I hope no one takes offense at this question because it is not intended to offend anyone here. I have thought about this after seeing how others in my own family have reacted, some with grief and some without showing any, seeming more like accepting, although who knows if they are just hiding it.

I understand what you're saying, but do you really think that a 14-year-old girl whose mother dies in a car accident wouldn't view that as a reason for grief or mourning? How about a mother whose baby dies?

Grief and mourning are personal and subjective things.

[Marcy1210]

My dad died of cancer at age 67 in 1989. My youngest son had just been born, and my other kids were 5, 13 and 16. I was an only child and my mom had died five months earlier. Both were cremated. My dad had always been in a Jazz band all his life. He played Swing, Dixieland and Dance. Instead of a funeral, we had a Celebration of Life, and his band members (they were all physicians, too who played for fun and recreation at parties, weddings, etc) played some of his favorite songs. The best one was "When The Saints Come Marching In". Everyone was singing and clapping. My dad would have been so happy. We had a buffet table with lots of food, people mingled, and shared wonderful memories of him. It was a beautiful time, a true celebration. When my husband died, we did the same thing. He had said he loved my dad's Celebration, and wanted an upbeat happy celebration, too. So I did. There was no alcohol at either one, only soft drinks, tea, coffee and water. Both were at the Mortuary, and my husband was also cremated. My mom, dad and husband's ashes are scattered over the hills behind our old house with a clear view of Pikes Peak. Someday, I'll join them, but I don't want any service at all...

[Aleister Crowley]

Originally Posted by Delahanty

I understand what you're saying, but do you really think that a 14-year-old girl whose mother dies in a car accident wouldn't view that as a reason for grief or mourning? How about a mother whose baby dies?

Grief and mourning are personal and subjective things.

It depends on the relationship with the mother.

[dizzybint]

Losing someone who has lived a full life is totally different from losing a child... An older person I can take onboard as inevitable and enjoy some banter from the minister telling personal stories from family .. but not when its a child or younger person...