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My parents prepaid for their funerals. When my father died suddenly, we were all in such mourning, we didn't realize that the funeral director had added on a bunch of stuff and my mother paid more than she should have. The funeral director knew we had caught on to what he had done and when mom passed, he was nice as he could be and we didn't pay for anything extra. Small town and everyone knew how he was and I think what he did to us hurt him in the long run.
My MIL got a sizeable bill for the engraving on the monument about a year after her husband was buried. She asked DH to look into it and it turned out that it had all been paid for at the time that the monument had been bought for both of them. Double billing.
Cremation is the least expensive of all. IMO there is no sense for regular $$$$$$ burial when the family needs that money for living.
I will acknowledge religious and cultural reasons. Beyond that, I too wondered about this.... situations where people were thankful for those who pitched in, providing a deceased, loved one the ability to have a lovely funeral... ceremony, casket, and all. Unless the deceased one already lived a lavish life, wouldn't it had been more prudent to spend the money while the person was alive so s/he could live a nicer life?
I just attended my father's funeral a few days ago. My father was cremated. I was there with my step mom when she made the arrangements. Cost was $5300.00. It was considerably more than she expected and didn't know she needed 20% down. She thought she would just pay when the life insurance came in. Most of the cost was the body prep and use of the funeral home. One can save quite a bit by not having a viewing.
My family goes for cremations, memorial services at the beach/forest/lake/etc. and scattering of ashes. I had always promised my husband that I would not make him "go through" a traditional funeral. He'd have come back to haunt me if I did.
When my husband died years ago and they were finished "harvesting" what could be used, he was cremated. $675 start to finish and the funeral director was a delight to deal with and he arranged everything. I received his ashes in a plastic bag in a white cardboard box.
Then three weeks later, I had a memorial service at his favorite fish camp. It was a party with BBQ with beer, funny stories, sweet stories, laughing and tears, singing and music and then we all went out on the lake to his favorite fishing spot and scattered most of his ashes. By having the memorial service later, everyone was able to arrange time off work and get good airfare to come. Also, a little time had passed and people were more able to talk about him without getting upset. The whole thing for about 50 people cost me less than $1000.
The rest of the ashes I put into a small beautiful carved box I had bought at a resale shop for $1 and attached a brass memorial plate I paid $12 to have engraved.
My dad's funeral was on his favorite beach at sunset with a bonfire, lots of beer and fireworks. He actually wanted a Viking funeral but the coast guard took a dim view of launching a perfectly good flaming boat off the beach. Ashes were scattered in the waves.
My boyfriend's family, on the other hand, goes in for large, elaborate, expensive funerals. $25,000 and more. Visitation, open caskets, the whole nine yards and graveside services. Gravestones galore. Lots of weeping and hard feelings. I can't see it, especially when the family can't afford it. It's very difficult on everyone. Everyone.
Don't get me started on some people I know who have to have funerals/memorial services in several different locations. Talk about dragging it out.
I'm requesting cremation, no services (if everyone wants to get together in some Irish pub and have a drink and sing The Parting Glass in my honor, I'll be there in spirit but if not, that's OK) and scattering in a waterfall. Easy-peasy, one-and-done.
Golfing buddy of mine died. His wife had him cremated and then had a church service with his ashes there. She split the ashes in two parts. One to be scattered on the beach of his hometown in England the next time she visited.
The rest to be scattered on the golf course by his buddies. He always stopped to pee behind the pump house between the 10th green and the 11th tee. After our Men's Tuesday Morning League golf about 15 of us each got a drink or two and gathered at the pump house. We toasted him and distributed his ashes. We had a plaque made that simply Here Lies Ron. Then a bunch of us took a pee there. He would have loved it.
Golfing buddy of mine died. His wife had him cremated and then had a church service with his ashes there. She split the ashes in two parts. One to be scattered on the beach of his hometown in England the next time she visited.
The rest to be scattered on the golf course by his buddies. He always stopped to pee behind the pump house between the 10th green and the 11th tee. After our Men's Tuesday Morning League golf about 15 of us each got a drink or two and gathered at the pump house. We toasted him and distributed his ashes. We had a plaque made that simply Here Lies Ron. Then a bunch of us took a pee there. He would have loved it.
Thanks, westcoastforme and 7gkids. I was feeling good for myself that I stood my ground with him and didn't let his sleazy remarks guilt me. I was numb at the time and in fightin' mode. LOL.
But, now, looking back I probably should have gotten ahold of the retired owner, Mom's friend, and had a talk with him. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted her funeral to have been treated that way.
Just want people to know that the funeral home had offered the service of notifying newspapers and radio stations and they all didn't get done. So if you ever have any doubt it's worth it to take the time to do it yourself. Or do it yourself to save some money.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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"Cost of Funeral" is very different than Cost of burial. My 'funeral' will cost ZERO... burial will be minimal... ~1/2 gal of diesel fuel.
I prefer 'alternatives' (to std Funeral home)
None of the funerals + body preps I have done have been over $1000.
Funerals.coop has affiliates.
For my dad... I got a transit permit and drove him 2500 miles to 'plant' him (Sis would not allow cremation)
Bought him a decent casket (cuz I didn't have time to build one) + a fiberglass casket liner (good for 100+ yrs, unlike cement vault), rented the backhoe.. I did the burial service, and the backfill.
All for under $1000
Lots of options... I prefer an immediate and direct burial (no embalming required if you are fast!) 3 -5 days IIRC. You can rent the backhoe for $200/ day.
The cemeteries I worked for did not allow some one to come in to do the backhoe. Had to be hired by the district for insurance purposes. BUT when I quit in 2008 the cost to a family or? whoever was in charge of the person being buried was 200 dollars. The district used that to pay backhoe operator and us the sextons. Sextons got 65 dollars backhoe got 150 or per hour if it went over the hour charge cemetery went in the hole every burial. Buying a plot was $50.00 for in area residents and $400.00 for out of ares residents.. A cremains burial cost $50.. to the family and I dug the holes and did the burials no liner required. Some times the people got there early and wanted to be a part of the hole digging for the cremains. I tried to be as accommodating as possible. These people were grieving. They deserved as much compassion as the cemetery could give them with in reason and safety concerns.
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