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I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I bet her froend did bisit, and tell her how wonderful the other side is, with no aches and pains, and neverending joy. Hard to pass that up. Godspeed to her and prayers of comfort to you and your family.
My mother died in her sleep in the early morning hours on Saturday. It was unexpected, but not a complete surprise. She was 91 and had experienced a number of injuries and illnesses in the past year, with six trips to the ER beginning with a fall that caused a hairline pelvic fracture in August and followed by shingles, a gall bladder problem, and several other incidents. In November, I thought she would not see Christmas, but she bounced back once again.
The week before last, I visited her to bring her books to read and do some grocery shopping for her and I was surprised that she was doing pretty well with her walker getting to the bathroom, dressing herself, etc. We played what would be our last games of Scrabble. Then on Wednesday morning my brother, who lived with her, called to ask if I could come help. She had somehow injured her knee and it was swollen, and she was having trouble standing. He pulled a muscle lifting her, plus she needed help bathing and dressing herself, which was better for a daughter to do. I packed a bag and went.
Friday while she was at dialysis, a nurse called to say my mother wanted to go to the ER and get her knee X-rayed, and they did not recommend that she go for obvious reasons. They told her to take a painkiller and ice the knee and keep it elevated. I said, NO, please do not take my mother to the ER. The nurse said, "Thank you."
When she came home she kept trying to get comfortable in her recliner and kept sleeping and waking up and saying, "I'm so tired, I am just so, so tired." She asked my bro and I to put her in her bed. We did. I gave her one of her painkillers, and checked on her an hour later, and she seemed to be sleeping more peacefully. At 2:30 I woke up and used the bathroom and went to check on her, and she was gone. I believe her old heart, patched up with her equally old arteries four years ago, just gave out.
(She had also been somewhat despondent because her old long-time friend and partner in crime died last Tuesday. There's a part of me that thinks her buddy swung by and picked her up and they are off on a new adventure.)
Anyway, to the topic of this thread, here's the new normal for funerals in the days of coronavirus. We are allowed to have a wake, but only ten people at a time may be in the room and social distancing must be observed. We decided to just forgo that. Even at her age, a lot of people knew and loved my mother in the small town where she spent her entire life, and we have a large extended family, as well. We plan to do a celebration of life down the road when the health crisis has passed.
Some cemeteries are not allowing anyone at the burial. The cemetery where my mother is to be buried next to my father and brother is allowing up to ten people, but those ten include the funeral director and any clergy. My mother's pastor will be there. I am one of six living siblings, but only four of us will be there. One is in Pennsylvania, and they are restricted from traveling to our CV-infested state, so she can't go anywhere. The other cannot leave her husband home alone because of his health issues.
The funeral home is offering something new that they've come up with--livestreaming of the graveside service on Facebook. I asked him what the charge would be for that service, and the director said, unable to hide a little smile, "Oh we are not charging for that service--yet." I suspect that if this works out for them, they may add it to the chargeable list of services. Death is one heck of a business.
So that's the state of conducting a funeral in these strange days, at least where I am.
Oh no I am so sorry! Oh this must so hard for you. I know of two other people who have lost a family member in the last week but neither are in your area & they did not report any changes to their plans but I bet this will become more & more common.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I recently attended a live stream of a funeral for a family member. It had been planned for awhile but even before this happened, I would not have been able to travel to it. It definitely wasn’t the same as being there in person but it was nice to be able to participate. If I had been there, it would have been extremely hard to not hug my other family. I’m glad we have this option.
Very sorry for your loss. All the posters on CD know she raised a good person and good daughter.
^^^ What he said.
MQ, so very sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost mine last July 3rd about 4 months after she had a bad fall -- she had been in good health (living alone etc.) before that, but after the fall she rapidly deteriorated. I know these things are never easy, but I wish she hadn't lingered so long once it became clear she was going to die. But I am very, very glad she did not live to see this virus.
Also, I am not the least bit religious, but I loved the image conjured up by your 5th paragraph of the OP.
My mother died in her sleep in the early morning hours on Saturday.
(She had also been somewhat despondent because her old long-time friend and partner in crime died last Tuesday. There's a part of me that thinks her buddy swung by and picked her up and they are off on a new adventure.)
=.
What a beautiful, wonderful sentiment! I'm so sorry for your loss!
Mq, I am so sorry your Mom died. It is tough. Thank you for sharing her with us with your stories. I, too, like the image of her partner in crime coming for her. She's at rest now and her job is done. (((hugs)))
Is her hair OK, and would she approve of what she's wearing? My mother was seriously ticked off because the mortician parted my dad's hair on the wrong side.
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