Loss of a parent

[Northside904]

I lost my parents soon after high school graduation, they were shot for no reason. Some fool ran up on them with a gauge and emptied hot lead into them, 2 in the chest and one in the head. That messed me up but at least they got to see me finish high school so I'm grateful for that. I grew up in a violence-prone neighborhood in N. Jacksonville so I'm no stranger to violence but when you lose your loved ones in a violent manner it does hurt. Interestingly enough, some solace was that the clown who shot my parents died a week later in the same manner. My pops was a good father, I learned about manhood through him. He taught me everything about manhood and what I respect most is that he was never too proud to say "I'm sorry" or "I blew it". He was a man in my eyes. We hung together every chance we got. He wasn't big on emotion because in his eyes, being emotional isn't going to change the situation so "man up" and go on. My mother was cool too, a female version of my pops none the less. My parents taught me a lot about how the world works, they were God-fearing people that were straight-shooters, treated people with respect, etc and that emulates who I am. I know they're in a better place so I'm not saddened by their loss.

[jtjmom]

Thanks so much for all of your kind replies. As an update:

We were on vacation, and his dad took a turn for the worse. After a 15 hour drive, we made it to the hospital with three hours to spare. He passed just after 2 am the day before Father's Day. His step-mom and sister were there as well.

My FIL planned his own funeral, and asked DH to be one of the speakers to eulogize him. None of the other family members he asked were willing to speak, though several friends will be. DH has pretty much had it all to handle, and seems to be holding up. I know he feels relief not having to worry aobut his dad any more.

He's working on a project with a railroad in Colorado (his dad was an avid railfan) to create a living legacy. I think it's good for him to have comething to concentrate on.

As it turns out, the day I posted about earlier, when I took my son to see him, is the last time my son got to see him. We didn't make that last family trip.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers, and the wonderful, heartwarming stories. They are much appreciated.

~D

[eggalegga]

Thank you for the update. I'm glad to hear you made it to the hospital in time to say your goodbyes. I wish you and your family peace. And for your husband, the strength to get through it all. When I spoke at funerals for loved ones and friends, I feel their spirit guiding me through it so that I don't fall apart.

On a side note, the funeral home where we had my dad's funeral, recorded the audio portion of the funeral. It's good to listen to every year on my dad's birthday or Memorial Day.

[NVplumber]

I was in the hspital , bad sick, when I got the news my Dad had died. I removed the IV's myself and left. M Dad was the only family I had I was close with, and we were very TIGHT. I was a basket case for far to long mourning his passing. It's not what he would have wanted, but I couldn't help it. I spent too much time trying to fill his shoes after he died. I finally woke up and looked at things from the proper perspective. It was a tough loss. I still miss him, every day. I guess you never really'get over it' per se. You just get the reality of it and move on as best you can. I just have to remember what he used to say.."none of us are getting out of life alive". So be it.