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So if I got it right, as long as I behave just the way any tourist should behave in a foreign country, there's nothing to worry about.
Is there any stuff such as, if I get into an argument on the road or over a parking space with a Hawaiian, they will always be right and I'll always be wrong? Or if I'm in a line to get on the bus and a Hawaiian comes from behind and jumps the line to get right before me, I can't say anything because he's from around here and I'm not? (that kind of stuff has happened to me in other countries, where you just have to swallow the injustice and shut up otherwise you get a bunch of angry locals ready to lynch you within the next 3 minutes).
Translatted to the simplest terms, its about your attitude and not your race. You have no mainland haole attitude so your accepted. Unfortantly its difficult to be a minority sometimes for some people because they are used to being the majority and are comfortable with the privileges that go with that.
Some are so comfortable with the privileges that they will twist something as simple as please watch your cultural attitudes to ask that is racism. Accept the culture and customs, be kind and humble and don't try to change your community to be like where you come from and you will be great.
@Op
To answer your question of a real life culture clashes. Redevelopment vs Conservation or keeping things local, small, slow and quiet. Best example.
Getting used to taking shoes off before entering someones house, letting others merge into traffic without using your horn. Living in small communities where people expect you to be involved and contribute. We attitudes before I attitudes. Simple examples
I was going to mention "shoes off". I haven't lived in HI, but used to go there for 2-3 weeks every winter when I had a friend living there (native Hawaiian I met when we were in the Air Force together). Anyway, I liked the "shoes off" rule, and it's also common where we lived in Southern California. So we still do it here in Denver and have a sign at our front door, and shoes scattered all over the front porch. The only problem is if it snows and nobody watched the weather. Snowy shoes=not good lol!
So if I got it right, as long as I behave just the way any tourist should behave in a foreign country, there's nothing to worry about.
Is there any stuff such as, if I get into an argument on the road or over a parking space with a Hawaiian, they will always be right and I'll always be wrong? Or if I'm in a line to get on the bus and a Hawaiian comes from behind and jumps the line to get right before me, I can't say anything because he's from around here and I'm not? (that kind of stuff has happened to me in other countries, where you just have to swallow the injustice and shut up otherwise you get a bunch of angry locals ready to lynch you within the next 3 minutes).
Use your best judgment, if it feels like someone is trying to start trouble just bag it and move on if you can. In my experience folks are polite to a fault out there before they'd be a d*ck like that so if someone is being outright rude like that they are probably looking to instigate. It's a polite culture, how you approach people, your tone of voice, etc... Is all very important. My rule of thumb is just always try to deescalate the situation not put more anger into it.
Like I said, just realized that you aren't viewed as local. Just like anywhere else, that can lead to issues sometimes and there will probably be situations where the best course of action is to just swallow your pride and walk away. But overall, if you are courteous, polite, and considerate of other people you will be fine 99%of the time.
And just keep out of Hawaiian sovereignty issues. Lol. In a perfect world everyone is entitled to their opinion but in reality it just isn't worth getting into those arguments unless you are really comfortable with someone. Haha.
Translatted to the simplest terms, its about your attitude and not your race. You have no mainland haole attitude so your accepted. Unfortantly its difficult to be a minority sometimes for some people because they are used to being the majority and are comfortable with the privileges that go with that.
Yes and no... Sometimes it is about your race because people who don't know you will stereotype you which is what I was trying to illustrate with that example. The guy wasn't just a jerk to them, he was a typical mainland haole who tends to exhibit those traits so they weren't surprised. In other words you get less leeway than other people that are viewed as local. But yeah, there are things you take for granted when your culture is the majority one and some people have a hard time being on the other side of that.
In hesitant to take the conversation down this road though, that is the point where the thread typically goes all to hell and I thought this was a pretty good discussion so far.
So if I got it right, as long as I behave just the way any tourist should behave in a foreign country, there's nothing to worry about.
Correct.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Interprete
Is there any stuff such as, if I get into an argument on the road or over a parking space with a Hawaiian, they will always be right and I'll always be wrong? Or if I'm in a line to get on the bus and a Hawaiian comes from behind and jumps the line to get right before me, I can't say anything because he's from around here and I'm not? (that kind of stuff has happened to me in other countries, where you just have to swallow the injustice and shut up otherwise you get a bunch of angry locals ready to lynch you within the next 3 minutes).
I have lived here almost 4 years, and am definitely a "Mainland Haole Transplant". I rarely, if ever, have any issues. But, I have also gone through some serious personal growth and mellowing out. "Open-mindedness and acceptance" is the way to live here and not stress yourself out for something you have no control over. Note that my experience is mainly in Honolulu ("Town"). In town, the asian influence is very strong, and if you understand that cultural influence, things get way easier.
In Honolulu, If you are asian, you are assumed to be a local. If you are caucasian it is assumed that you are new or visiting. I have people assume that all the time, it's tiring, but that's just the way it is. I don't try to fake the local accent or talk in pidgin, and am just who I am. The only people that seem to have a difficult time with that are already angry or pissed off to begin with. Ther are parts of town that my wife and I are the only white peole in a restaurant. Doesn't bother me, but when I notice, I wonder how african americans feel in places like Bellingham, WA, where it's 98% white.
For your examples....
If you get in an argument over a parking space then you are in too much of a hurry. Another spot will open soon enough, arguing over this spot will only leave you angry for far longer than what it will take to get another spot.
If you are in line to get on the bus, it's not he Hawaiians who jump in front of the line. It's the little asian women who act like they cannot hear you when you protest. Aside from assaulting her physically to make her hear you, the energy to call her out is not worth it. And I'm sure not going to hit anyone over something like that.
The actual Hawaiians are generally super nice, and cool people.
Another poster, clearly trolling, mentioned slower traffic and not putting up with that. To that I LOL. No matter of weaving thorugh traffic, honking (considered very rude BTW), or yelling will enable you to get where you want to go any faster than traffic allows. Took me a while to learn that, and I'm grateful I didn't hurt anybody in the process.
If you are in line to get on the bus, it's not he Hawaiians who jump in front of the line. It's the little asian women who act like they cannot hear you when you protest. Aside from assaulting her physically to make her hear you, the energy to call her out is not worth it. And I'm sure not going to hit anyone over something like that.
No doubt those old Japanese ladies would push in front of me in the produce section at the market all the time too.. But what are you gonna do it's a little old lady?
Agreed though, most Hawaiian's are really chill and friendly.
Fyi to the op, on case you are wondering... there is local and there is native Hawaiian. Not all locals are Hawaiian and being from Hawaii doesn't necessarily make you Hawaiian. It's an important distinction to pick up on.
No doubt those old Japanese ladies would push in front of me in the produce section at the market all the time too.. But what are you gonna do it's a little old lady?
Agreed though, most Hawaiian's are really chill and friendly.
Fyi to the op, on case you are wondering... there is local and there is native Hawaiian. Not all locals are Hawaiian and being from Hawaii doesn't necessarily make you Hawaiian. It's an important distinction to pick up on.
Yup but in observing local, japanese or even Hawaiian cultures an auntie wouldn't have to push in front of anyone. Hmm interesting huh, makes you think how much has changed and or is lost.
Yup but in observing local, japanese or even Hawaiian cultures an auntie wouldn't have to push in front of anyone.
Same goes for here on the mainland. I see an elderly person, I politely step back and offer them to go in front of me. I'm not the only one. I see others do it all the time.
Ha! If you want to watch an auntie riot, wait for the produce guy at the Asian farmer's market to bring out the bitter melons. Then you can sit back and watch the little old aunties pushing and shoving each other to get to the best ones first. Snatching and grabbing the melons and fighting over the best tendrils. It's a mess, I tell you. Although, that's usually only after there's been a dry spell on bitter melons.
Fortunately, most mainland newcomers aren't involved in this chaos. They haven't yet discovered the delights of bitter melon and chicken feet.
Yup but in observing local, japanese or even Hawaiian cultures an auntie wouldn't have to push in front of anyone. Hmm interesting huh, makes you think how much has changed and or is lost.
Well, where I come from they would say excuse me because you have no way of knowing they are behind you. I'm talking about sitting at the apples bin inspecting which ones to buy and old ladies just come up and push you out of the way so they can get to them... I consider that rude personally. But I let it slide and don't make a stink about it regardless, I just grumble to my wife when I get home.
I'll give up my seat on the bus, help carry something heavy, or hold a door for an old lady in a heartbeat, we call it respecting your elders where I grew up, pretty much every culture has that. Regardless, it's not really the point of the thread, the OP wanted to know what keeping an open mind and being acceptance means when moving to Hawaii and this is a tangent.
To the OP, this does remind me of one other thing you need to be aware of in Hawaii though. There is a general belief from a lot of locals that local people are nicer than outsiders, particularly mainland transplants. If it is a good attitude it is "local style" regardless of whether or not most cultures do the same thing (like respecting your elders), if it is a bad attitude it is "mainland style" or something similar. I hesitate to call it arrogance, because people do it lots of places (talking about "Southern Hospitality" or "good Christian values" for example) but it can get annoying sometimes because it may feel like a backhanded dig at you sometimes.
Last edited by UHgrad; 12-04-2014 at 05:36 AM..
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