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Just remember your roots and don't try to be someone you're not. I appreciate your efforts but knowing that you folks came from the main land and Alabama explains that you guys simply changed who you were just to fit in here. BTW, we were not able to change because we were not willing to, not because we couldn't. How easy it is for someone to come here and just let themselves go and start talking the local talk and act like people are embracing of them. Hogwash. If you moved to the ghetto and pretended to be "ghetto" the people who lived there all their lives would know and think you were a fake....if you moved to the south and threw on a cowboy hat and started talking with a southern accent, the folks there would also consider you a fake. Just be yourself. No matter where you move. If you truly held onto your main land lifestyles and didn't change who you REALLY are, then you would be the first person I have ever met with your outlook. -I am betting you and your family talk the haole pidgeon and try to meld into society here. I too served in the Army for over 24 years and have been everywhere. I also own a plumbing business. I am not knocking construction workers but simply saying there is not much here for kids after high school. You are not even on Maui so comparing Oahu to Maui is like comparing apples to oranges. I have lived on Oahu and Maui is nothing like it. Oahu has much more to offer than Maui does. Lets just agree to disagree and enjoy our lives. I was just wanting to shed some light on real issues that are here. You can sweep them under a rug but they still exist.
I am the same person I was on the main land that I am here. so is every haole I know. none of us speak pidgeon. we have the same lifestyle we did on the mainland, minus the mainland crud.
you have a strict set of standards and you make judgements based on them. when people in general don't measure up you find reasons why. it is easy to pick on someone who has dirty feet or seems lazy by your standards. you seem to want everyone to have your standards and when you interact with them you are dissappointed that they don't have the same high value that you hold.
you seem to perfer to highlight the "sketchy" as the mainstream, while turing a blind eye to the moral, good people who are the majority. add that in with hawaiian time and a lack of skilled workers and opportunity for the people that live here, no wonder you have found unhappiness.
I don't doubt that we have sketchy people but how you out of all the people have managed to find yourself in the middle..in kihei no less... is beyond me. seems you have been very unlucky haole dude
My HUSBAND is from Alabama and I am from Hawaii. I do not and never have spoken pidgin English, I speak the way I was taught (in a private school). My husband is the same man I met and married but he has always been able to notice differences in people and to appreciate those differences.
I have always been on the 'wrong end' of the racial spectrum as far as the mainland is concerned but somehow managed to live in all of the places without denigrating the people or the State. I have never had a fake Southern accent, nor tried to be 'white', I have always been proud of who I am and where I am from- but that does not mean that I am 'better' as it truly seems that you believe yourself to be better than those from Hawaii.
You said it yourself that you were not willing to fit in, so of course you were miserable. Also, I never claimed to live on Maui (did you even actually read my posts?). I always stated that I had friends there and visited frequently, and I stand by my assertions that they are wonderful, CLEAN, wholesome, non-drugging, Church going individuals whose children are well adjusted and have NONE of the problems that you 'see' so clearly daily. Their children range from pre-school to college aged (yes, the college aged children are in school on the mainland) and they somehow manage to survive the gritty Kiehi that you describe so disparagingly. I know people from upcountry, Kihei, Wailea, Wailuku, Kahalui and Lahaina- is that a large enough pool to garner my information (personally gleaned) from?
Yes, most of my friends are 'comfortable' but I do have some friends who struggle financially. They are not smoking pot 'for dessert' nor are they filthy, uneducated cretins that you so readily spot- so again I put it forth that you are indeed in places that you should not be. Although drugs abound unless you are involved why would you even concern yourself with them (either the persons or the drugs themselves)? You are simply bound and determined to find fault with the people here because they refuse to conform to YOUR narrow view of life and people- no wonder you have been so unhappy! In your view if someone is bare foot then they are unwashed and filthy (gross I believe you stated) instead of realising that local people are quite happy to be bare footed and btw- CLEAN.
I always advise people to not attempt to speak pidgin, but since when is speaking pidgin the ONLY way to assimilate? As you said you were UNWILLING to assimilate therefore you have been unhappy- it is certainly not a mystery why people have assumed that you were visiting, because you WERE just 'visiting' in your mind and in your heart.
How am I 'sweeping' anything under the carpet. I have stated that there are drugs and druggies here (as there are everywhere-yes, even in *gasp* Idaho); I merely contend that if you have no friends or interest in that sort of thing then it is simply not an issue! If you were unhappy with your children's school system why were there no outraged letters to the school board (and why did you not RUN for the school board?); were you ever in the PTA (or whatever they call themselves these days) or involved with tutoring your own children?
It is not exactly difficult (especially these days with the Internet) to come up with a curriculae that would greatly enhance YOUR children's education. You could have sent them to a private school, there ARE scholarships (since your children are soooo advanced compared to local children) as well as financial aid but here is the 'catch' you actually have to apply for them (and your children need to pass the entrance exams). See? Things may be viewed (and SKEWED) in many ways...
I would contend that Oahu would have MORE problems than Maui, so why is my view so easily dismissed? There are drugs here and guess what? We have nothing to do with them and we have never been attacked nor robbed by these dirty, filthy, drugged up 'local' people. My goodness, I WONDER why that could be possible since Hawaii is soooo riddled with these issues.
I wonder too, how my very WHITE friends on Maui manage to survive (even thrive) on such a horrible Island with such terrible people. How on earth have their children managed to survive and achieve good educations and go on to nice lives themselves? How is that EVEN possible???
You are the one who refuses to see that everything is not one sided in Hawaii. You see only what you wish to see and have made no effort to ever become a part of your community and THAT is what is so very sad.
Wow, you guys really took things so serious. Rather than state the obvious regarding how poor the schools are here, the common drug use that plagues the islands and the fact that sooo many of Hawaii's residents are burned out hippies.....you try to paint a different picture and twist everything. I am not arguing with you about some of your ideas. But really, these issues are real and were a huge factor with us deciding to leave as well as many other families we have met and seen leave as well. I don't think it's justified to try and explain Hawaii to us having lived here for 15 years. We have ran successful businesses of which you have probably heard of, and just wanted to simply state some real issues for families that are coming or might be thinking about it. This stuff isn't on the postcards or in the catalogs that people see when researching the islands.
-I have had my kids teachers NOT show up for work because of hangovers. Come to work smelling like pot (because Hawaii doesn't have the budget to test the teachers) -I personally think they don't test because they would not have any teachers left, friends of my kids stop by our house because they don't know where their parents are (this is charter school kids in case you wondered), pot smoke blowing through our window almost every night and the cops could care less! -we live in Wailea at The Palms not some crappy condo in N Kihei. The list could go on and on.
-I don't think I am any better than anyone else. I am simply stating facts that most families I speak with agree on. They just stay here and adjust. I respect your defense of Hawaii but also think you are minimizing real issues that even the local papers talk about.
not minimizing the issue at all. the drug use, the aging hippie are here as well as the mainland. I would think you could live lots of places on the mainland and smell pot smoke. a ton of people smoke dope. doesn't make them bad people or not responsible.
yes just like with drinking there are people who are who do nothing but waste their life away. this is not just an "island thing" and your posts seem to indicate this is what most of kihei and hawaii is like, when in fact it isn't. I would think the percentage is the same as most places on the mainland.
how do you know if the reason a teacher didn't come to school was from a hangover? would the teacher say to the student body, their parents and their boss....oh by the way I was so hung over I didn't come to work? doubtful, so to suggest it or assume that seems wrong.
I know we have problems with drugs, not enough opportunity and not a great school system but we have more people who are clean, hard working and care about their children's education and they do not do drugs.
I too have lived at the palms and I never ever smelled pot smoke there. part of that complex allows 6 months rentals the other half is owner occupied only. if I lived in the rental part and experienced what you did, finding it objectionable I would have moved when my lease was up. if you are an owner, maybe you should have talked with the owner's association about it. I think the cops have better things to do than bust people for smoking dope in their own homes.
No minimizing just trying to balance your totally one sided view of Maui. How do you actually know why the teacher was not in school? Was this gossip or did the teacher actually STATE this to YOU? You say "Charter School" as if it were on par with private schools which if your business were 'so successful' you should have been able to send your children to (or did they not pass the entrance exams?).
Of course Hawaii has problems (as I have stated many times) but it is not as you paint it to be. There are NOT aging hippies and drugged out people wandering the streets. If you smell pot why have YOU not called the police to report it, and how are you soooo certain that it is not sage? I do know people who burn sage (new age stuff) and the smell is exactly like pot (I was in Law Enforcement and we had numerous calls that turned out to be sage burning NOT pot).
You equate bare feet with 'gross' and filthy...you DO realise that it is merely the soles of one's feet not the entire body that is touching the ground, right? And that soap and water actually cleans feet very well? Oh, yes- it was WAL-MART where bare feet are common- I am willing to bet that locals do not go to Tiffany's in bare feet; but I KNOW that I have seen WHITE TOURISTS attempt to enter this establishment in bare feet. Why? Because they were coming from the beach-my goodness- they MUST be filthy beasts!
I AM upset because you so malign an entire State and culture with your skewed, narrow view on how OUR society appears to you. Again- if you are not involved in the drug culture and have no friends involved then how on earth does it affect you? Gossip is absolutely worthless and as a good Christian I would think that you would close your ears to slander.
It is amazing that everyone you have come into contact with has been so substandard- must be the company that YOU keep since I only know decent people who care for their families, homes and businesses with nary a drug. I was educated in Hawaii as were my parents and grandparents and somehow we have managed to produce intelligent children with very high IQs who perform beautifully in society (in all different places, not a narrow slice of society) and we do not openly disdain those who work damned hard at their 'blue collar' jobs (btw, what do you think plumbing IS???). Do your employees know that you regard them as absolute losers?
If you were in the Military I can almost pin point your 'type' and it is NOT a pretty picture. For a purported 'Christian' you certainly are judgmental and narrow; not at all like Christ who wanted us to be kind to each other. Does your total hypocrisy not bother you in the slightest? Probably not.
Location: not sure, but there's a hell of a lot of water around here!
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Looking forward to your posts RE Idaho in a few months. I also live in Kihei, have since it was a dirt road from Keawekapu down to Wailea, before Foodland was ever built, and I've never seen the Kihei you're describing, at least not to that extreme. Guess I should get out more often.
Aloha, and ono laki, and, don't forget, no matter where you go, there you are!!
I'm done going back and forth with you. Once personal insults start, (especially about my kids) I need to move on. Sorry I insulted you and hopefully no one else will ever dare to speak up and share their real experiences about Hawaii on here as they just get attacked for sharing honest real life experiences. Maybe I'm just crazy and none of what I said actually happened and I just enjoy wasting time on here with strangers making up lies. Hmmmmm....
How did I insult your children? I simply asked why you did not send your children to a private school if their education was of such concern to you? It was either financial (in which case FA is available as well as very reasonable payment plans) or that they did not do well on the entrance exams. These are statements and not insults. You in fact stated quite plainly that MY children could not possibly have any future other than blue collar or service industry jobs and I plainly stated that this was not the case, I refuted your assertions did not indignant about YOUR insults.
Oh, perhaps YOU are the only one allowed to insult persons and indeed entire communities with impunity. It is rather plain that you skim posts and decide what you will and will not address (how else could you decide that both my husband and myself were White people from Alabama?) as well as missing my statements that there IS indeed a drug presence in Hawaii(hardly "sweeping it under the rug") but certainly NOT at any of the levels which you state to be 'fact'.
When questioned about HOW you could possibly know that gossip is truthful and that the drug culture is so invasive if there was not personal interaction with this section of society all you can say is that "you have heard it" and that the "kids said so".
You stated many times that you were Christian and I simply wanted to know when it became de rigeur for Christians to openly slander people due to malicious gossip, as that is not what I learned from Scriptures and Church.
You wish to debate until you fail miserably to defend your scurrilous statements. You openly insult an entire society and State and while I have not once stated that your experiences were not what you have perceived you continue to insist that the only beautiful thing about Hawaii is her natural resources. This is from a person who openly admits that they were not willing to assimilate into the culture and society that you chose to live in; you deplore the state of the public schools but have failed to point out what YOU have done to attempt to better them for YOUR children.
I openly acknowledge that Hawaii has faults but you refuse to see that YOU have contributed to your own misery in even a small way. No place is perfect but to attempt to live in a community where you show such open contempt while refusing to admit that there are good, decent people who live good and decent lives within that community is rather pathetic.
You live in a bubble and everything is just peachy. Good for you. The reason I wish to not continue "debating" is because it is like talking to a wall. Actually, I would probably get further with a wall. You have nothing better to do than sit on here and pick apart everything I say twisting it to suit your needs. -Like a child. If you wish to have an adult conversation you will need to learn to listen and understand what someone else is saying not try and turn everything they say around. Maybe that's why your kids moved away....
It seems that you are the one insistent upon living in a bubble (a very mainland one). I am indeed sorry that you are incapable of debating the points that you have brought up in your posts (I DO read what has been written unlike, it seems, yourself).
If you DID actually READ what was written you would understand that my eldest son is 22 and a college graduate while my youngest is still in college. I thought the ENTIRE point of raising children was to prepare them to be adults and self-sufficient. In my world this means that they do actually LEAVE home when they have completed their chosen degrees and NOT living at home throughout their twenties.
They are nice young men with their own lives (although my youngest is still 'technically' at home since he has one more term at school) and it is how we raised them to act- as MEN, not children who live with mommy and daddy until they are thirty! I would hope that you would wish the same for your own children; but perhaps you would prefer to have your own children in your home after they graduate college- your home therefore it is your choice.
The 'thing' is...you cannot even develop an intelligent reply to a protest to your incredibly one-sided posts and you think that saying that my children moving away from home is NEGATIVE. Perhaps you should pursue a little more education yourself and try to widen your narrow mind.
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