Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We moved and found a new PCP that we both really like. She listens, makes good eye contact and has her laptop on her lap when making enteries, always facing the patient. She’s personable, thorough and conservative in her approach. Our other internist was chief of staff at the hospital where we used to live and we thought he was quite competent, but the quality of care now is better overall. Office staff competence is as important as the doctor. If you can get through, messages aren’t returned, etc. it doesn’t matter how good your doctor is if the ancillary staff is poor.
You know, due to germ transmission, it's frequently suggestion that people stop shaking hands?
Well, that's a huge turn off to me. What's the big deal with washing his hands and applying an antibacterial cleanser between appointments?
Quote:
The constant computer use is no longer avoidable and most doctors dislike it as much as patients.
In any situation it's nicer when people are congenial but in this one, it's much nicer if they're competent
Yeah, he kept complaining about having to enter so much stuff into the computer. I tried to kid around by telling him that as a retired software developer, he could blame people like me who just needed to keep a job ourselves. His response: silence.
My childhood pediatrician was the quintessential picture of seriousness - but he found little ways to help me feel at ease anyway ... using my name, telling me a shot would be over fast, being gentle in his examination, smiling at times (rarely, but it counted when he did). Somehow kids just knew he had their best interest at heart.
So I never cared that much about bedside manner as an adult - until I got some physicians who had absolutely none, and now I get it. I don't need a lot of interaction, but I like OP's comment about feeling like it is "one human caring about another human." That's what makes me want to go back for those important screenings and follow-ups - that the physician or other provider understands how vulnerable we can feel as patients, that they care about the outcome, and that a bit of humanity goes a long way.
I recently had two appointments with a cardiologist. It was like talking to a robot, though at least robots don't interrupt you. Unfortunately, there was a trickle down effect with his staff - they were the same way. The typing into the computer thing doesn't bother me too much if it is punctuated by physically turning toward me and connecting with eye contact and direct interaction, but this doctor's computer screen seemed like the most important thing in the room. While I have no complaints about the physician's medical knowledge and interventions (and fortunately, all was well), if I needed anything further I would definitely have sought another provider who at the very least could smile at me and call me by my name.
Exactly. I mean a smile and hearing your name actually means a lot and it doesn't take take any time away from the exam.
It depends on the type of doctor. For a pcp or pain management doctor, bedside manner is really important to me. If it’s a surgeon then I could care less provided they are the best at what they do.
Yeah, I agree more or less. Even with a surgeon, I wouldn't say that I couldn't care less, but it doesn't matter as much as with my primary care physician.
A family doctor (internist, g.p.) should be someone whom you have a good rapport with. I would try asking your acquaintances who they go to, and if they are happy.
I’m guessing that on an initial visit, the doctor is also evaluating whether he wants to be your doctor. It’s possible he stays aloof for a reason.
Anyway, you are the customer. You should only buy what you like.
I found a gem. She is warm and caring, and she trusts that when I tell her I need something, which isn’t often, she believes me and accommodates me. I’m 70, too, OP.
On the other hand, when I need a specialist, I do not care about charm as much as experience and skill.
I tend to stick with doctors who are board-certified in their specialty, but beyond that, I have no way to judge their competence relative to that of other doctors. I just have to assume, as long as there are no complaints against the doctor on the Florida Department of Health website, that they are competent.
But in addition to basic competence, I do require that they be personable and friendly. I have switched doctors several times when the first doctor I saw was robotic, cold, or even worse, rude. I won't put up with that kind of attitude from anyone else I look to for some kind of help -- sales people, hairdressers, clergy, etc. -- so why submit to it from a doctor?
I took my four-month-old daughter to a recommended otolaryngologist (ENT) because she had constant ear infections. She ended up needing tubes in her ears and he said she was one of the youngest patients he'd ever put tubes in. I waited over an hour and a half in his waiting room with a sick baby. When I finally got in to see him, he was clearly not going to spend more than the most minimal time necessary with me. I had a whole list of questions for him and I told him I did. "Well, you better make it snappy," he said. "I'm a busy man." Doctors tend to intimidate me, but I was so put out with him that I said, "I waited an hour and a half for you. Now you're going to give me the time I need." He did. When he told me she needed surgery, I asked, "Will you be doing it?" (I didn't know at the time whether doctors with his specialty actually did the surgeries or not, so it didn't seem like a dumb question to me.) He gave me a sarcastic smirk and said, "Well, who did you think was going to do it?" He did the surgery, but I'd never have gone back to him for anything.
i might give your guy another chance or two, there has to be a balance. maybe he had a bad day, maybe one of his patients had just died, maybe mgmt. just gave the clinic personnel a dressing down, so many things could have been going on. they are human after all. or maybe he had open slots because others feel the same as you.
I think you're right. He might just have been having a bad day. I'll probably see him at least once more in the relatively near future, after he gets my labs back, so I'll see how that visit goes.
I don't care whether they shake my hand, pat me on the back or anything like that, but I do want a doctor I feel comfortable with and one who has a personality. I feel this way with almost every person I do business with. the exception is when we are talking life and death situations: then just give me the best I can afford and the heck with whether they are jerks or someone I would like to have a drink with.
Yeah, I know what you mean. It wasn't just the absence of a handshake; that, in and of itself, wouldn't have been a huge deal. It was just the overall lack of any personality whatsoever.
I'm ok with a doctor that's not chummy, but not with one that's mean.
I told my ob-gyn that I thought I had vaginitis. He said,"No, you're just old." Not in a funny, joking way, either. He took a sample anyway, and his nurse called the next day to tell me to come pick up my prescription.
The ob/gyn I had that I absolutely loved would have said that, but he would have followed it up with a wink and a compassionate comment.
Quote:
Since it was an HMO, I didn't have a lot of choices. Nearly every woman I talk to about him can't stand him (though I did meet one woman who praised him for getting her through some problem). I last saw him 10 years ago. He's still there.
That clinic has high turnover in doctors, I had to learn not to get attached. The good doctors move on, the bad ones stay forever.
If you're not comfortable with the doctor and feel like you'd rather not go to see them and are hesitant to open up to them, that could end up very bad for you. So if you need a more human approach, you should find it. Not everyone does, but if you do, then it's important.
As I said before, I'm really pleased to see how many people feel the way I do. I can "open up" to any doctor, but I'd sure rather open up to one who sees me as a person and not just as "the stomach ache" or "the cough."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I mean a smile and hearing your name actually means a lot and it doesn't take take any time away from the exam.
