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I don't understand the argument that one shouldn't drink alcohol free beer because it contains "some" alcohol. About half the ones I've tried advertise 0.0% on their label. And the ones that don't can't have more than 0.5% That's about the same as a ripe banana, and less than what's in yogurt. Do recovering alcoholics not eat yogurt or bananas?
I don't understand the argument that one shouldn't drink alcohol free beer because it contains "some" alcohol. About half the ones I've tried advertise 0.0% on their label. And the ones that don't can't have more than 0.5% That's about the same as a ripe banana, and less than what's in yogurt. Do recovering alcoholics not eat yogurt or bananas?
It's a chemical addiction surrounded by behavioral reinforcements of that addition. The chemical aspects of that is drinking rapidly three bottles of a low alcohol beer. I can pretty much predict that the guy was drinking a low alcohol beer and not a zero alcohol beer. He knew there's alcohol in there and is trying to get the most out of it. I seriously doubt that he would be guzzling zero alcohol beer in a rush. The chemical addiction also causes them to drink strange products like cold medicine and even more risky in desperation of anti-freeze (ethylene glycol). Seen of those. Seen some methanol screens also and some positive. If alcoholics knew that bananas contain alcohol they would have a crate full.
It's not just the alcohol but behavior modification needs to take place in order to get rid of reinforcements of drinking. He doesn't want to get left out and he seeing other drinking and he sure as hell wishes he could drink.
If beer is his alcohol of choice then he shouldn't be drinking non-alcoholic beer. I am not sure what his alcohol of choice is as for some it is wine and others more hard liquor. The low alcoholic beer might simply be his venture into finding anything with alcohol that other might find acceptable to drink. It's fine see its just non-alcoholic beer. Ok if it's not for the alcohol then don't drink it and drink orange juice. Drink soda. Sugar too high? Drink diet coke. Why non-alcoholic beer?
He should not be drinking non-alcoholic beer. They always advise recovering alcoholics to avoid it because drinkers are stimulated by the smell of whisky or beer, and such smells will cause them to start drinking again. Really no different than ex-smokers are stimulated by the smell of a burning cigarette, which will cause them to want to smoke again.
Now you are throwing up red flags. You are rationalizing his behavior and looking for excuses for it. Your entire post exhibits enabling behavior.
This. If you want to continue the relationship, you need Al-Anon. You need to learn about enabling and how to avoid it, among other things.
Otherwise, you are headed down a miserable, destructive road.
^^ This ^^^ You've been going out 5 weeks, not 5 years and you're making excuses for his behavior. I would think long and hard before getting any more involved with this guy.
Sounds like someone right on the scary edge of being triggered, looking for that "high" and not finding it.
I quit alcohol 27-odd years ago. Never used the A word about myself, felt like a fraud as walking off was for me not a thing. Attended a few AA meetings and always cut out early; I handle my own problems. Those who need it and other treatment can have at it: clearly a godsend for some.
NA beer won't cut it for some alcoholics. Neither will being in that environment. To this day I prefer NOT to be around it though the whole triggering-thing is long in the dustbin. I quit caring maybe a year or two out, c. 1995, but it did take awhile to adjust the emotional compass. As I recall Christmas of 1994 was hell w/no drinking, for example. NA beer over the years is hit-or-miss: tasty, but not something I crave. That's the scary part, the craving.
He needs to find some new friends. There were several I got rid of back in the day since drinking or being around it was no longer attractive for me. Or, as I do, when my bestie and his rummy buddies start yucking it up: I split. Sloppy drunks are unattractive anymore, nor was I way back when. I don't care what they think and I've been doing that for 23 years and he's still around, so there you go. Find quality in other activities. I have my share of issues to deal with as far from perfect, but these are my ways. Best of luck with all that.
My last drink was on January 8th, 1992. So this is based on 29 years of alcohol-free living. Some people find their desire for the "real thing" is triggered by drinking alcohol-free beer or wine -- the taste sets off the old cravings. Others find this is not the case. I found certain mouthwashes when I quit drinking set off that trigger. Today, I can cook with alcohol or have an alcohol-free beer without any sense of being triggered -- but I have nearly three decades of sobriety behind me, and I know myself and know my reactions well. The other danger is whatever emotional triggers were involved in his drinking: if he's a stress drinker, he'll turn to the alcohol-free stuff, but that won't help and the temptation will be to say "What the hell!" and go down to the liquor store for a little self medication.
My advice to him would be: stay away from the alcohol-free beer. The fact that he's guzzling it is a bad sign, and he's asking for trouble. He'd benefit from finding something else like a nice dry ginger ale to drink in social situations until he knows himself and his reactions better. And that can take decades. If he's not involved in AA meetings, he should consider doing so because he'll find people who are struggling in the same way he is with sobriety. People who will understand what "I really want a drink tonight" means more than a non-dependent person like yourself. This will be helpful to him whether or not he buys into the whole twelve step thing (I personally don't find it helpful, though it's an essential part of getting and staying sober for others who struggle with dependency).
He doesn't necessarily need to work the steps, or admit he's an "alcoholic" to succeed. There are fundamentalists in the twelve step movement, but I'm not one of them. He just needs to not drink today, then do the same thing tomorrow, then every day after that for the rest of his sobriety. Believe me, after 29 years I can tell him: his life will be immeasurably better without the booze.
Is he currently going to meetings? If so, is this something he plans to continue doing? Does he acknowledge that drinking is not something he can not do? EVER.
Are YOU okay without drinking, as it likely isn't helping him any to be with someone who drinks. It is worrisome that he would put himself in a social situation where there is a lot of drinking. Don't stick your head in the sand. ASK the necessary questions. GET answers. There's no rush to the alter. Take it slow. Go to meeting yourself. Life can be happily lived without drinking.
I'm just pointing this out. First people were saying that alcohol free beer couldn't be consumed because it had "some" alcohol, and then when I asked why that was more dangerous than yogurt the tune changed to "the smell / taste / etc" will remind them of drinking alcohol.
The latter actually makes sense. The former lacks any scientific basis.
I'm just pointing this out. First people were saying that alcohol free beer couldn't be consumed because it had "some" alcohol, and then when I asked why that was more dangerous than yogurt the tune changed to "the smell / taste / etc" will remind them of drinking alcohol.
The latter actually makes sense. The former lacks any scientific basis.
Back in the day, blood alcohol analyzers would print out a result showing no number meaning it was too low ( no measurable amount or too high (too high to give a number). Two different scenarios and so in order to save time I would smell the serum in the sample trough tray. I would put my nose to it and I would smell or better said feel the evaporating effects of the alcohol with high blood alcohols. I mentioned it to somebody else who started laughing and then I told him to try it and he said you're right.
My take is that alcoholics can tell the difference between 0.4% NA beer and 0.0 beer based on its evaporating effects on the palate. I could tell and I am sure they can tell. It also would generate a triggered response both unconscious and conscious similar to pavlovs dogs. It's a conditioned response based on the evaporating effects of the alcohol and the resulting effects on sobriety. It's that connection that needs to be severed.
Smell and taste by themselves can also illicit a response that you say but it's the chemical that they are addicted to is important. The smell and taste doesn't bring on the stupor and altered consciousness. It's the alcohol that is the main ingredient. There are subconscious and conscious learned behaviors that revolve around alcohol. Alcohol is the reward and its effects is what they want.
Alcoholics, should never drink alcohol especially when starting off early in sobriety. For those drinking later on NA beer are playing with fire. The other aspect to that is some feel safe drinking it is a false sense of security that nothing happened. Most alcoholics have a high tolerance to alcohol because of genetics and enzyme systems. There are many "functioning" alcoholics. If you were to check their blood alcohol level you would be surprised. It brings on a reassurance that they say they can handle NA beer and then use it as a gateway for harder alcohol thinking they can handle that also. Some alcoholics never brake their addiction and relapse.
The other problem is that alcoholic offspring tend to find alcoholics as partners. To them chaos is normal for them and something they are used to. Such pairing is not by accident.
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